Blog - Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home

Learning to Talk About Death and How We'll Be Remembered

Tue, 28 Apr 2026 21:16:54 GMT

May 14: New & Innovative burial options

There's a reason most of us avoid talking about death. It feels morbid, premature, or simply something that we'd rather not think about. But a new lecture series at Island Cemetery in Newport is making a gentle, practical case that these conversations — held early, held openly — are among the most meaningful we can have.

Death and Dying is an evening series of talks that brings together experts and community members inside the historic Belmont Chapel at Island Cemetery for evenings that are all about intention.

Memorial Funeral Home's Kurt Edenbach will be leading a conversation on May 14th in which he will address a question more people are asking: are there alternatives to traditional burial and cremation? The answer, increasingly, is yes — and the options have grown significantly in recent years, shaped by environmental concerns, personal values, and new technology.

From green burials and conservation cemeteries to aquamation, human composting, and other emerging methods, the landscape of end-of-life choices is expanding in ways many people haven't yet heard about. This lecture offers a grounded, accessible look at what's available, what's legal, and what might align with your own wishes — or those of someone you're helping plan for.

To reserve your spot, click on the link here .

Kim Shute's Review of Nothing to See Here

Tue, 28 Apr 2026 16:52:16 GMT

I just love it when I pick up a random book and it transports me to places, I never could have imagined. Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson is one of those rare finds.

I was pulled in from page one by the story of a poor girl trying her luck as a scholarship recipient at a private boarding school for the ultra-elite, set against the backdrop of down-home Tennessee. The book vacillates between current day and flashbacks from her earlier life.

Our narrator and main character, 28-year-old Lillian Breaker, is, quite honestly, a bit of a mess. She is living in the attic of her self-absorbed mother’s house, and her life feels stagnant at best. Beneath the humor, this is a story that touches on childhood neglect and the sharp divides of income and social status.

We learn about Lillian’s complicated relationship with Madison, her former boarding school roommate who reappears with a mysterious and highly confidential job offer. What unfolds is a story about misfits that made me laugh out loud one moment and feel unexpectedly emotional the next.

I struggled at times with the dynamic between Madison and Lillian. Given their history, I found myself questioning why they remained connected at all. Yet many of us are guilty of staying in relationships that do not reward us with reciprocity. Still, as the story unfolds, witnessing the trust develop under such unusual and often untenable circumstances helps to restore a bit of faith in human connection.

There is a strange magic to this book. It leans into the weirdness in a way that is both disarming and oddly comforting. As Lillian herself suggests, I hope this story “hypnotizes you with weirdness” as you make your way through it.

Let us know if you decide to give it a read or a listen, and what you think.

What is terramation and why should I care?

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 20:20:42 GMT

It's likely that you've never heard of it before, but it is the process of naturally breaking down the body into soil.

As conversations about sustainability expand into every corner of modern life and one idea is gaining ground in the funeral industry: terramation, also known as natural organic reduction. It's a process that transforms human remains into nutrient-rich soil — and it's an option that will be available to Aquidneck Island families through Memorial Funeral Home.

Terramation works by placing a body inside a large vessel along with organic materials like wood chips, straw, and wildflowers. Over the course of about 30 to 45 days, controlled heat, moisture, and airflow create the ideal conditions for microbial activity. The result isn't ash or preserved remains — it's roughly a cubic yard of rich, dark soil that families can use to nourish a garden, trees, or a meaningful piece of land.

The environmental case for terramation is compelling. Traditional burial involves embalming chemicals and non-biodegradable caskets, while fire cremation releases carbon dioxide and mercury into the atmosphere. Terramation, by contrast, sequesters carbon in the soil and uses far less energy. Advocates estimate it saves about a metric ton of carbon dioxide compared to conventional cremation.

Washington became the first U.S. state to legalize the practice in 2019, and several others have followed since. A handful of companies now offer the service in states where it is legal, including Vermont, Maine and New York. While terramation is not yet legal in Rhode Island, although a bill has been introduced to the Rhode Island House of Representatives to legalize water cremation and terramation. For now, Memorial will be offering this service through a partner based just over the Massachusetts border in Vermont.

If you would like to know more about this service, feel free to reach out to us today!

Kim Shute's Review of The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 14:15:32 GMT

A case of mistaken identity turns into a sense of security for an octogenarian.

This month we are delighted to bring you a review of The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife by Anna Johnston. Federick Fife is charming and affable, I would even label him as a helper, the kind Mr. Rogers would approve of. The tale is funny, heartwarming, and at times heartbreaking, just like life itself.

This story about second chances, grief, caregiving, and the vital role connection plays in the lives of humans is set in Australia. Frederick Fife is an octogenarian who is on the precipice of being evicted due to his fragile financial situation following the medical care his late wife required after a cancer diagnosis. In a wacky turn of events Fred accidentally finds himself a resident at the Wattle River Nursing Home. Strangely, Fred doesn’t seem to mind as he has new friends to talk to, hot meals three times a day, a bed to sleep in, and a roof over his head, and sometimes medications that help with his painful arthritis.

The realities of nursing home life are still there with the smell of urine in the air, staff stresses, the hard cold reality of dementia, and the sad parts of aging.

I am not sure how the author accomplishes it, but she seems to combine hard topics like isolation and invisibility that often plague the aging population with rediscovered joy and the power that comes from acts of kindness. She manages to create a loving, thought-provoking, and comical world. Once again when the book was over, I missed the friends I had made in the pages.

This tale might cause you to reflect on or engage in meaningful conversations about emotionally complex topics with people you care about. At Memorial Funeral Home we love to find ways to invite people into those conversations that can be hard to begin.

Creative Ways to Honor Your Loved One's Ashes

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 22:31:24 GMT

Losing someone we love is one of life's most profound experiences, and finding a meaningful way to memorialize them can bring great comfort during the grieving process. While keeping a traditional urn at home is a time-honored choice, today there are more ways than ever to celebrate a life well lived.

One of the most personal options is transforming ashes into wearable keepsakes. Some companies will pressurize ashes into a diamond, which you can then set into a ring, necklace, or other jewelry item of your choice. Our very own Director of Community Relations, Kim Shute, took some of the ashes of her late husband and made a diamond ring, which she absolutely loves.

Parting Stone is another company that offers a beautiful way to memorialize your loved one by transforming their ashes into a collection of polished stones that can be held, shared, and cherished forever. The process uses scientific precision to solidify cremated remains into clean, ceramic-like stones that vary in size, shape, color, and texture — making each collection as unique as the individual it honors.

Rather than an urn tucked away in a closet, families can carry the stones in their pocket, display them in a memorial garden, scatter them meaningfully, or divide them so that everyone who loved the person can keep a piece close — making Parting Stones a deeply personal and lasting way to stay connected to those we've lost.

For those who feel a connection to nature, there are several meaningful earth-friendly options. Tree urns allow a loved one's ashes to nourish and give life to a tree, which provides a living, growing tribute that endures for generations. Another eco-conscious option is a coral reef memorial, where ashes are incorporated into a concrete reef structure that helps restore natural marine habitats.

Scattering ashes in a meaningful location is another deeply personal choice. If your loved one had a passion for travel, you could take their ashes on a journey and scatter them in places that were meaningful to them — perhaps somewhere they always dreamed of visiting. Scattering at sea can also be a beautiful send-off, especially if they loved the beach or were a boating enthusiast.

For the creatively inclined, ashes can be woven into works of art. You can commission an artist to create a painting using paint mixed with your loved one's ashes, with popular choices including a portrait of the deceased or a scene from their favorite landscape. Companies can also press ashes into a vinyl record , allowing you to preserve a loved one's favorite songs as a lasting musical tribute.

As you can see, there are so many ways that we can honor our loved one’s ashes. If you have any questions, reach out to us!

Winter Proofing Your Independence

Sat, 28 Feb 2026 13:18:55 GMT

Asking for help with heavy snow today may be the very thing that keeps you independent longer tomorrow.

As I sit solidly in my mid-fifties and look both behind and ahead of me, I am noticing some things worthy of noting. My back is not as strong as it once was for snow shoveling. Dialogue in movies sometimes feels too fast. I get irrationally annoyed when an app changes its layout. Aging is not dramatic — it unfolds quietly, in small moments that surprise us.

I have been thinking about this as many of our neighbors sit at home with feet of snow still lining their streets and driveways. Getting older shows up differently for each of us, but like it or not winter has a way of revealing it to us.

I have a woman in the later chapters of her life whom I lovingly call my “rental mom.” When the last big storm was predicted, I worried about her. I was too far away to do much more than make a phone call. She put my mind at ease immediately: “We’ve been preparing for years to make sure I’m okay in circumstances just like these.”

That sentence stayed with me. The “we” she referred to included her late husband and her adult kids as well as a team of service providers and of course her as the matriarch.

Winter rewards preparation. And no one understands preparation better than someone who has lived through 50 (or more) of them.

We don’t need another lecture about why snow and cold can be risky. Many of us already know the realities: ice increases fall risk, moving heavy snow in the cold strains the heart and lungs, and isolation can settle in during long stretches of gray days. What matters more is what we do with that knowledge.

Preparation does not mean doing everything yourself as you can see from the example above. In fact, the wisest winter plans often include deciding what not to do.

A few simple steps make a real difference:

Arrange snow removal before the first storm.
Keep a few days of food, water, and medications on hand.
Charge your phone and keep emergency numbers written down.
Use traction cleats or a cane with an ice tip if needed.
Keep indoor temperatures at 68° or above.
Avoid shoveling if you have heart, back, or lung concerns.

We see too many preventable falls this time of year. Black ice is still invisible. No driveway is worth a hospital stay.

And then there is the part we talk about less: winter loneliness. Storms can intensify silence. Grief can feel heavier in the dark months. Staying well also means staying connected — scheduling check-in calls, joining a senior center program (of which we have many on Aquidneck Island), or simply letting someone know you would appreciate a storm-day phone call.

One theme comes up repeatedly when I listen to elders I respect: they do not want to be a burden.

But strength is not doing everything alone. Strength is knowing what is worth doing — and what is not.

Asking for help with heavy snow today may be the very thing that keeps you independent longer tomorrow. Most adult children would much rather receive a phone call asking for assistance than a call from the emergency room.

The goal is not to do everything yourself. The goal is to stay well for as long as you are here.

As we head into the latter part of winter here in New England, may we each take a few thoughtful steps to prepare for the last hurrah of Old Man Winter this season — and give ourselves permission to accept support when it protects our health and dignity.

Kim Shute's Review of Eternity

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 20:37:07 GMT

A movie about figuring out who to spend eternity with.

My fiancé Matt and I saw a trailer recently for the movie Eternity, a movie about a woman who has recently died and must choose which of her dead husbands to spend eternity with.

We decided that when it came out, we should watch it. As many of you know my husband, died in 2015, and, and I have since re-partnered. I still miss my husband every day and magically wish he was still here to share life with me. And yet I recognize I am still here with my feet very much planted on the earth in a life, my life. My husband--when he was alive-- and I had conversations about the very situation I find myself in: To date or not to date after his death. We gave each other “permission” to look for love and happiness following the death do us part section of our vows.

My partner Matt has always been accepting and not at all jealous of my late husband. Matt and I often joke about our circumstances- if there is an afterlife who would I pick to spend eternity with? My stock answer is I imagine them both tucking me into bed nightly and then going off to discuss sci-fi books and movies they love followed by strategic board games. I will provide them with a best friend who is not me. With two of them I might get all the attention I require! And yet if there is an afterlife, I suspect many things that are common place here in life on earth might be challenged with a new way of seeing and being.

This is idea is exactly why we wanted to watch the movie Eternity when it was released. The story is a about a woman who had two husbands in her 8 decades of life, one in her early 20s which ended with his tragic death in the Korean War and another which lasted more than 60 years and blossomed into a family. In the world of this film, the woman must choose who to spend eternity with and the deceased husbands are essentially competing for her attention often in childish ways to win her for eternity (which I must point out is a lot longer then 60 years).

I thought the film had a cool premise, but it fell short of what it tried to accomplish or what I thought it could have. In the end it felt like just another romantic comedy.

In the end, I was disappointed. The script was not very imaginative about the problem or the answer that the film highlights. I think it is still worth watching as it was the inspiration for several hours of expansive conversation between us. If you see it, please let us know what you thought of the experience.

Expanding End-of-Life Choices in Rhode Island: An Introduction to Water Cremation

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 15:07:02 GMT

As society evolves, so do the choices we make—especially when it comes to end-of-life care.

For generations, burial and flame cremation have been the primary options available to families. Today, however, Rhode Island may soon see two additional alternatives that reflect changing values around sustainability, environmental care, and personal choice.

One of these emerging options is water cremation , also known as alkaline hydrolysis or aquamation . This process offers a gentle, environmentally friendly alternative to traditional flame cremation. Instead of using fire, water cremation relies on a water-based process that uses significantly less energy and produces no harmful emissions or airborne pollutants.

A bill has recently been introduced in the Rhode Island House of Representatives that would legalize water cremation and human composting as additional end-of-life care options. If the bill passes, Memorial Funeral Home plans to offer water cremation services here in Rhode Island. While the service is not yet legal in the state, we already provide water cremation through a partnership with a licensed funeral home in Connecticut, where the practice is permitted. Currently, water cremation is legal in 28 states across the country.

Traditional flame cremation relies on fossil fuels, such as methane gas, and releases carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. Some estimates equate the emissions from a single flame cremation to those produced by a 500-mile car trip. By contrast, water cremation uses approximately one-tenth of the energy—just enough to heat and gently circulate water during the process. Depending on the equipment and the individual, the process typically takes between 4 and 16 hours to complete.

Beyond the environmental benefits, water cremation offers families a respectful and natural way to honor their loved ones while aligning with values of sustainability and stewardship of the planet. As more people seek end-of-life services that reflect these priorities, water cremation provides a meaningful option.

Living on Aquidneck Island, we believe many of our friends and neighbors would welcome having more choices when it comes to their final resting place. Expanding these options empowers families to make decisions that truly reflect their values.

If you would like to support the effort to bring water cremation to Rhode Island, please reach out to us. We would be happy to add you to our list of supporters to share with state legislators.

Kim Shute's Review of Song Sung Blue

Wed, 04 Feb 2026 13:45:24 GMT

Another review by our director of community relations.

I must begin with a confession (one of many I have voiced here) I was raised in the 1970s and 80s on cheesy, campy music from the easy listening crooning of Barry Manilow, Frank Sinatra, and Roger Whittaker to Neil Diamond, Kenny Rogers, and Willie Nelson, so you must take my review with a grain of salt.

A few years ago, I took my mother to Boston to see A Beautiful Noise; the life story of Neil Diamond, prepared for theater audiences before it went to Broadway. So when the film Song Sung Blue came out, I assumed that it was simply the movie version of A Beautiful Noise.

I could not have been more mistaken.

This weekend, my partner in crime (A.K.A. life) braced himself for my corny desire to see Song Sung Blue. He was raised on classical music and not the cheesy, popular culture that was forced into my young and developing brain.

This film is based on a true love story of Mike and Claire Sardina. The film follows them from the moment they meet through the many struggles life throws at them. They form a Neil Diamond tribute band in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Until seeing the film I had not heard them. Their story was brought to the public eye in 2008 with a documentary about them. Their stage names were Lightning and Thunder.

Hugh Jackman plays Lightning/Mike and Kate Hudson plays Thunder/Claire. I found myself completely swept up in this story, although it is a rough ride. I, of course, loved the music and the story was not one of the happy ending varieties. Some say it is too melodramatic, but I disagree, I think it is gritty and allows us in on the darker side of this tale.

If you are up for some campy Neil Diamond covers and some drama mixed with a bit of temporary joy, I think you should give it a try. Neil Diamond himself likes the film, but maybe he is biased too.

Let us know what you think.

Kim Shute's Review of This Time Tomorrow

Thu, 08 Jan 2026 00:25:54 GMT

How many of us wish we could go back in time to soak up more of the people we loved? I for one have wished for this multiple times since the death of my husband. I want to see him again because his life story is all jumbled in my memory.

When did he take care of the grounds of that golf course? When did he walk off that roofing job in his 20s because they did not respect him? And I want more details on when he failed out of engineering school only to go back later after our son was born.

Since all those things pre-date my entrance into his life, I have no way of finding out. No one in his life would remember or care about what seem like mundane details. The book review we have for you today is about this very topic. This Time Tomorrow by Emma Straub was written while the author’s father was in the hospital. He had suggested she write a book about a daughter visiting her father in the hospital and that is exactly what she did.

I am not a fan of Sci-Fi, but I can tolerate a bit of fantasy. I like my fantasy to be anchored in realism, no blue skin or characters named Tragorin for me. Emma Straub writes a time travel novel without any of the Sci-Fi vibes. Based firmly in realism unless you do the math on how old their pet cat is in 1996 and then in 2020. You may have to suspend your disbelief on that detail.

It begins with the main character, Alice, on the eve of her fortieth birthday. Her life seems to be fine, albeit a bit lackluster. Her father who is a single father and famous for writing a time travel novel, is in the hospital. The next morning, Alice wakes up as her 16-year-old self, but she still has all the knowledge of her 40-year-old brain.

The book does not have a Groundhog Day like quality to it, but she is trying to change the end result. With her father in the hospital in 2020 she finds herself wanting to spend lots of time with her dad when she goes back in time. She gets to ask all those questions that she did not care about the first time, when she was only consumed with her teen self and friends.

This is a love story of a different variety, between a daughter and her dad, between her and her friends, and with herself. This book made me just want to read or listen instead of doing my grown-up responsibilities.

I hope you will give this book a try as it is both hopeful and wonderful.

Kim Shute's Review of Come See Me in the Good Light

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 19:47:16 GMT

Have you ever seen a film that stays with you for days and changes the way you approach and look at your own life? You can see the trailer and the film is currently available on Apple TV.

This film follows two exceptional poets, Andrea Gibson and Meg Falley on their remarkable journey through love and loss. The cinematography, the words, and the meaning added together provide the audience with a gift.

I have not often been a fan of poetry, but Maya Angelou, Amanda Gorman, E.E.cummings, and now Andrea Gibson and Meg Falley have made me reconsider this position.

Andrea Gibson was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in August of 2021, and this is their tale that begins with that news. The couple pull together and keep trying to stay alive through news both pleasant and unpleasant. Their love and dedication are breathtakingly showcased. This film is raw, authentic, uplifting, and deeply sad. It has won 5 awards so far including Festival Favorite at Sundance Film Festival in 2025.

Gibson had rock star-like fame before their diagnosis as a spoken word poet. Their early career focused on social justice, gender norms, LGBTQ topics, and politics. After their diagnosis, the topics shifted to depression, mortality, life, illness, and love. This poet expresses feelings, sensations, and ideas that must be witnessed as they capture truths that touch all of our hearts at one time or another.

Having the Talk of a Lifetime

Wed, 19 Nov 2025 11:38:04 GMT

Having The Talk of a Lifetime

When was the last time you sat down with a loved one and asked them questions about their life? Not just the day-to-day conversational questions, but the ones about the big and small moments?

For many of us, we probably haven’t had these conversations. Unfortunately, many of us put these conversations off, thinking that we have time to do so in the future, and then never do. We suggest that you don’t wait and to have these conversations early on. Find the time to sit down with those you love to ask them about their memories of growing up, what is important to them, and what they were like when they were younger. You will be thankful that you did.

Not only will these types of conversations help you become closer to your loved one, it will help build toward the harder questions, like end-of-life care and funeral arrangements. Although these conversations will be tough at times, they are so important. In order to give our loved one the goodbye that they want and deserve, they are necessary.

When we have these conversations, we may be surprised what is important to ours loved ones and what isn’t. That is important to know, especially for making decisions for them.

For conversations like these, remember that open-ended questions are the best way to get your loved one to talk. What was your proudest achievement? Who has been your greatest inspiration? Questions like these can help keep the conversation going for hours.

Remember, that sometimes there might be parts of your loved one's life that they might not want to talk about. Don’t push them if that is the case. Maybe they will be willing to revisit that memory or part of their lives at a different date. Even if they don’t ever want to, that is OK too.

Visual prompts can be helpful, such as photos and souvenirs. They might spark the person to remember things that weren’t readily available without this visual cue.

This is also a conversation so this is also a time for you to you to share your memories, especially ones involving the loved one you are talking to.

It can be helpful to record these conversations, so long as the person you are talking to is comfortable with this. It might be helpful for remembering your conversation with them in the future, or you can share these recordings with other family members, as well as friends. This can also be a nice element to add during memorial services or family gatherings.

For additional information and suggestions on questions to ask your loved one, click here .

A Review of The Mortician

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 19:48:39 GMT

If you have been discussing movies and documentaries with your family and friends, you might have come across the HBO series, The Mortician, a three-part documentary about a funeral business in Pasadena, California back in the 1980s. We figured it was important to talk about it since you might have some questions about the funeral industry after watching it!

The series primarily focuses on David Sconce, a funeral director at the Lamb Funeral Home, a family-run business that was established in the 1920s. The show draws on both horror and intrigue from how a family-run institution loved by the community betrayed the trust of hundreds of families.

The Mortician lays out how Sconce turned the funeral home into a money-making machine by systematically violating ethical and legal boundaries: mass cremations, body mutilations, stealing materials of value like dental gold, returning misidentified ashes, and engaging in intimidation and even alleged murder.

The series is especially chilling because of its access to Sconce himself—this is the first televised interview since his more recent release from prison (there have been many prison stays). His justifications, denials, and evasions reveal an unrepentant mentality that challenges what viewers might expect from someone caught at the center of such horror. This well-researched series is a must-watch if you are into horror and have a strong stomach!

What The Mortician does especially well is bring death care into the spotlight and what it means to care for loved ones who have passed. For us at Memorial Funeral Home, it certainly is a reminder that it is understandable that some people might have some distrust in funeral homes!

What we can do is assure you that we are held to the highest standard of ethical integrity, both by ourselves, the state and federally.

If you do decide to watch this series, know that none of this would ever happen at Memorial Funeral Home! And please feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

Q&A with Julia Brough about Death Doulas

Thu, 30 Oct 2025 23:46:05 GMT

Julia co-founded End of Life Rhode Island , an organization with a mission to educate the public about the role of the end-of-life doula.

When Julia Brough is not sitting in front of a computer, she can sometimes be found by the side of someone who is dying. She is a death doula, also known as an end-of-life doula or death midwife, a growing vocation that is part of a larger movement that is changing how we look at death.

Although the term “death doula” might seem new and different, for thousands of years, societies across the world have had individuals trained in helping the dying. Today, there are about 1600 death doulas throughout the U.S.

Julia sat down with us to talk about her work and the organization she co-founded, End of Life Rhode Island, whose mission is to educate the public about the role of the end-of-life doula, as well as raise public awareness around death, dying, and end-of-life planning and support in Rhode Island.

This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.

Memorial Funeral Home: So, Julia, tell me what you do and what got you into this work?

Julia Brough : My 9-to-5 is a digital project manager, so I am at a computer a minimum of 40 hours a week. And then during 2020, I was speaking with my therapist at the time, I was just kind of ruminating on being on a computer for the majority of my week. I wanted to explore some other field to get involved in, ironically, during a healthcare shut down.

I said, “What in this space could I do?” And I mentioned to her that I had just gotten a birth doula book, but I wasn't feeling compelled to open it, and she said, “Well, have you ever heard of a death doula?” I immediately went and googled it and found the University of Vermont Certificate program, which is one of the largest certificate programs, and signed up for it. I think it was about eight weeks.

Throughout the program, I said, “This is literally what I'm equipped to do.” It just felt like all the little puzzle pieces were coming together, being a project manager. And really, that's what an end-of-life doula is, we have a point A and a point B. You have to kind of see at a high level and understand what your client wants to accomplish within that time. So it felt like a really nice marriage of everything I have worked towards.

After you get a certificate, there isn't really like a path. You have to either start your own business and have that entrepreneurial energy, or people will go and volunteer with hospice. So I went through the volunteer process with Hope Health . During that time, I was still talking about, “What do I want to do? How do I use this skill?” And I talked about it enough that at a dinner party, someone connected me to Judith Sutphen. Her and I met and we said, “We need a community.” So we started End of Life Rhode Island with the intention of public outreach, professional education, and giving ourselves a space to be together.

We need to educate Rhode Island, like people don't know [what a death doula is]. And she happened to know a cohort of people that had gone through the program or were just really tangentially interested, like funeral celebrants and folks that work in grief therapy at the VA.

We started organizing in 2022. And then we went through our strategic planning last year because we were like, “Okay, who do we want to be when we grow up?” And that was super helpful. Now, we're coming up on a year of having a marketing committee, a professional education committee, we've done a program every month and a public outreach committee.

MFH : That's awesome. And how has the reception been?

Julia: A lot of the first questions are, “How much does it cost?” We're not regulated at this point--some people are doing it for their livelihood, some people don't need to do it for income. I try to price myself at a sliding scale. I'm very flexible. I have a full-time job. I'd like to make some money for the skill set, but also, I'd much rather get the work done.

We most often get asked, "What is the difference between hospice and end-of-life doula work?" And so that's a really interesting question to get.

Mainly hospice is a medical provider and these medical professionals need to meet patients on a schedule. A doula can come at all of those in-between times and sit with their client, work with them, provide caregivers with respite. They are just more hands on deck, basically.

I am 36 and I have talked a lot about this with a lot of my friends, many of them who are just starting a family or they already have kids, and a lot of them have responded with, “I could have really used this service with my aunt, uncle, grandfather, parent as they were dying of cancer.” Like just someone to sit in it with and be available.

MFH: What do you think drew you to this work?

Julia: I've had a couple experiences that really resonated with me in different ways, one of them being my father died when I was 14 of a sudden heart attack at a a work Halloween party that I was not in attendance of - we were living in California at the time. I never saw him again. He went to the party with my mom, and then the next time I saw him was at the wake in Rhode Island.

And then my two grandmothers passed. My mom's mom, she died in 2018. And my family, they know me to be very deeply emotional. And so there was this cajoling that needed to happen for me to come to her bedside. The whole family was around her deathbed and they reassured me, "Please come here, you can be here. We'll be here with you.”

And then when I got there, I was like, “Oh, my gosh, I don't know if I can handle this.” I was encouraged to sit with her and speak with her, alone. That was incredible. To hold her hand and talk to her was something that I don't think a lot of people are reminded to do.

And then my dad's mom passed, she was very lucid all the way up to the very end. And when she knew I was going through the doula program, she was like, “Will you come and be with me when I die?” She was in Laconia, New Hampshire. And the minute I heard she was not doing well I dropped everything and canceled my Thanksgiving plans with my mom's family. And I drove up there. I was by myself, and I spent two hours holding her hand, talking to her.

I got to experience her receive a prayer from the hospital chaplain. She held so tightly to her old worn scapular - a religious garment - as she nodded along with the prayer. And I relfected “I want to bear witness to that, to everyone's different religious views and like how that culminates at the end.” That was really, really intensely beautiful.

So these three stories kind of laid this foundation. When I learned that I can educate people on showing up and stepping into the death space and that it can be scary and it can be beautiful and you can be there for your people, it is really powerful and I wanted to do that work.

MFH: That's really profound because it feels like we live in a very death-averse society and sometimes very emotionally averse, so to give people that opportunity to take those emotional walls down and give them that space, that's powerful.

Julia: I appreciate you reflecting that back. Our culture and relationship with death here in America is one of holding it all at arms length. This is a generalization of course, there are many cultures within this country that do handle death differently. But as a whole, we struggle with sitting close to death.

I can get a little extreme talking to my friends where I ask a question like, “Have you guys talked about your body disposition planning?” And a lot of them don't want to talk about it. I get it. I have two nieces: five and one years old, and that has definitely changed this journey of stepping deeper into the death care space.

It is scarier now knowing that I will miss time with them. But I try to ease that dread by reminding myself that our truth as humans is that we will all die. And to try to live a full and beautiful life with the time that we have is all we can do.

MFH: You refer to yourself as an emotional human being, does that work to your favor in this work?

Julia: Oh yes, you can still be emotional in that space. Your humanness is what makes you relatable and approachable to those that are going through a very intense time of grief. Doulas are providing their clients with the space and the strength to reach within themselves and navigate this new and final chapter. As well as the caregivers!

We all have these tools within us to advocate for ourselves and lean into vulnerability - we just need a little help from time to time. Doulas don't need to solve any problems. Doulas provide resources and ask questions to help clients travel through the forest of their final chapter.

The work that a doula is doing is showing up and saying, “Okay, we're going to sit in this space. We're going to talk about this, if you want to talk, and you're going to get to whatever that next point is.”

MFH: So, walk me through what you're offering a family. Are you coming in weeks before a terminal diagnosis is given?

Julia: You can start working with an end-of-life doula when you're healthy. One thing I have been doing is hosting death dinners where I make dinner for up to four people and facilitate conversation around death. Even just having these conversations when there are no ailments is a great way to work with a death doula - maybe once a year or so to keep documents up to date.

You can start with working on an end-of-life planner! I have one that is titled, “I'm dead. Now what?” In it you have your passwords, you have who you want to be called upon death, which I love because I'm like, “Oh my gosh all my best friends.” And then there's also a document that we love to promote which is called Five Wishes and that is acknowledged in Rhode Island as your end-of-life document. There's like a whole bunch of things in there that you can circle. I've gone through it with my mom in pencil, and I just kind of reiterate to people that you can go through and change these documents at any point, as life evolves. This will help your end-of-life planning to start early and not be left for the last minute when things get very tied up in immense grief.

Then when there is a timeline due to a diagnosis, working with that client to understand what they want their days to look like, if there are any efforts that they want to get such as recording your life's story, finishing a project that may be half complete, or combing through belongings to give them to friends and family - to name a few.

I'm working with them to understand their body disposition options, because there are options that are not legalized yet in Rhode Island that they can take advantage of elsewhere, whether it be water cremation (aquamation) or human composting (natural organic reduction) or a natural burial verses a green burial.

Then working with them to map out what their memorial would look like, in partnership with a funeral home. A living funeral could be a nice option where the client is able to attend and say their goodbyes, maybe pairing it as an opportunity to give those belongings away either to friends and family or donated in a specific manner (this is also known as Swedish death cleaning).

Also taking time to understand what they want their space at the end of life to look like, feel like, smell like, and sound like. There is such a beautiful sense of autonomy that can be woven into this planning.

Other things that can be planned is if the client would like a pet to be around or if there are people that they do not want to have in their space or if they would like to have their hands and feet lotioned - to again, name a few.

Doulas can help in so many different ways, and it really comes down to what that person's life looks like and what they need and you're kind of tailoring it for them.

MFH: Once someone has died, does the work of the doula continue after that?

Julia: Oh yes, we of course refer back to what the client's wishes are or what the family is comfortable with. Some doulas are available and able to help wash and shroud or dress the body. Putting the body on ice so visitors can come spend time to say final goodbyes. Prepping the body for the various internal changes that it will be going through - especially if it is not to be embalmed. A doula can assist with calling the doctor, calling the funeral home, spearheading that communication so that the loved ones can grieve. Doulas can help caregivers receive various tasks if they are interested in being involved such as opening the window to let the soul out or leading a prayer or song or poem. And finally, doulas can be available for the memorial / funeral / wake to make sure things go smoothly. There are lot of ways a doula can help after death. It is worth noting that not all doulas offer all of these services.

MFH: Say there are people that you don't want in the room in those last hours or minutes. Do you designate someone within the family to be like, “Hey, you can't come in here?” Or does the doula take on the role of having those hard conversations with family?

Julia: Going back to whatever the client prefers - there definitely can be a bit of mediation involved in this role. Doulas show up as a neutral presence to create space for the dying to live their final days in the best manner they can. Being able to have those hard conversations, it's really guided by the client's wishes or if they are unable to communicate, deferring to what the immediate family would prefer. And maybe there's another way that you could communicate this to the individual. The client may not want the person in their presence physically so you could ask them to write a note instead or send flowers. As a doula, I am happy to have those conversations.

MFH: Julia, thank you so much for this conversation.

Julia: Thank you! And a should out to the folks I have been working with at End of Life RI, they are an incredible group of humans bringing so much to this corner of the death care space. If you are interested in learning more, we welcome you to join us to learn about our organization at endofliferi.org . And I am always down for a coffee or tea or cocktail to chat more!

Thank you so much for your time and the space.

Kim's Review of The One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot

Wed, 24 Sep 2025 15:20:27 GMT

Life is too short, and it is especially too short for bad books, have I said that before? In this section we try to help you find books, movies, shows, and podcasts worth your time. This month you will need a box of tissues to read Marianne Cronin’s debut novel from 2021, but not for every page. Don’t worry, there are plenty of laughs within her novel too. This is a story of intergenerational friendship as well as life, loss, and resilience.

Lenni Pettersson, a Swedish born 17-year-old is in the terminal ward of the Glasgow Princess Royal Hospital in Scotland. She is a bit of rebel and bored with her time there, she is often looking for ways to fill her days where she never gets out of her pajamas. The ways she relieves herself of boredom include going to the hospital’s chapel to ask questions. Lenni’s knowledge base about Christianity is mixed up between fairy tales and the bible. She is polite, playful, and direct. The priest, Father Arthur, takes a shine to Lenni.

One exciting addition to her days is the newly opened art therapy space lovingly called The Rose Room. It is there she meets Margot Macrae, an 83-year-old, who has a bit of spunk. Lenni realizes that between the two of them they have lived 100 years. They decide to make a painting (mostly by Margot, a gifted painter) and story (mostly by Lenni who has a way with words) for every year of each of their lives. In between we get to hear the flashbacks of their individual histories. It is heartwarming and at times, heart wrenching.

This book is loaded with storytelling that illustrates love, confusion, life, sadness, joy, and of course death. We hope you will consider this month’s recommendation. Let us know if you like it.

Kim's Review of Dying for Sex

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 17:27:33 GMT

Buckle up people this show is not for the faint of heart, as many TV shows challenge us these days, long gone are the days of Richie Cunningham and Happy Days. Once again, the content for this show is for mature audiences, I mean sex is in the title. Sex and death are not topics that typically go together, at least not out in public. This month we are covering a new show on Hulu and Disney + called Dying for Sex.

The story is loosely based on a true story. Molly, the main character (played by Michelle Williams) is in her 30’s and has terminal metastatic breast cancer. It is not hard to imagine when given such a grave diagnosis that a person might look for ways to escape reality or make the best of the days one has left. Molly does that in an unexpected way; she sets her sights on-- you guessed it-- sex and she dabbles in Fifty Shades of Gray territory.

Molly has had an unhappy marriage and one that is sexually unfulfilling. What would you do in her shoes? She decides to leave her husband because he is unable to fulfill her sexual desires. He feels sad when he sees her breasts, as all he can see is her diagnosis and grim prognosis. We then watch Molly try to figure out how to meet her needs both alone and with others throughout the comedy drama miniseries.

Molly’s relationship with her best friend, Nikki (played by Jenny Slate) is rich with humanity and humor. So much humor! The chemistry between these two actors is a treat to witness. They show us the messy side of being human and the beauty of how we come together to support one another in times of dire need.

I find myself thinking about the subject matter of this show weeks after I have watched an episode. This story gives viewers the opportunity to walk in someone else’s shoes, no matter how uncomfortable. I wonder how people with a terminal cancer diagnosis or someone close to them experience this show? Is it a relief to see part of your journey on a TV show millions of others are watching or is it too soon?

If you have thoughts about this, please send us an email at kim@memorialfuneralhome.com.

Welcome Norma Figueroa to Memorial Funeral Home!

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 17:35:05 GMT

We are proud to introduce one of the newest members of our Memorial team, funeral apprentice Norma Figueroa! Norma brings with her not only over 17 years of experience in the medical field but also a warm spirit, a deep sense of compassion, and a genuine desire to serve families during some of life’s most tender moments.

Norma is originally from Ponce, Puerto Rico and raised in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. Today, she lives in Central Falls. Her interest in the human body started early—when she was in high school and tasked with dissecting a cat during an anatomy class. That moment sparked a lifelong curiosity about anatomy and eventually led her to nursing school. She went on to work as a certified nursing assistant, central supply director, scheduler, receptionist, and lead CNA trainer.

Reflecting on her years in health care, Norma says she has always been fascinated by “the amazing things a human body can do.” Her medical background, combined with training and certification in thanatology, gerontology, and funeral service preparation, makes her uniquely prepared for the next chapter of her career in funeral service.

Though her background isn’t in funeral homes, Norma has found the transition both meaningful and inspiring. “I’m learning a lot,” she says. “Everyone here is eager to help me learn the ropes.” She has been shadowing at services and learning the administrative ropes that entail with this industry.

Norma also knows firsthand how important it is to be sensitive to different family dynamics, a skill she developed through years of patient care. As a bilingual speaker of English and Spanish, she is especially passionate about helping families feel heard, understood, and comforted. “Being Hispanic, we turn everything into a party,” she jokes, “but I know that is not the case for everyone.” She brings that cultural awareness and perspective into her work, meeting families where they are and supporting them in ways that feel authentic to their traditions.

Of course, not everyone understands her career choice. “Some of my friends have been weirded out about me working with the dead,” she admits. “And I’m like, ‘Well, you’re gonna need me someday!’”

Norma is a proud mom of two college-aged children and she enjoys traveling, going to concerts, spending time outdoors with her kids, and doting on the family cat, Midnight. She also likes to eat tasty food and dance!

We are thrilled to have Norma on our team. With her dedication, warmth, and professional experience, she embodies the heart of our mission: to provide care, comfort, and guidance when families need it most.

Newport Hospital to Open Adolescent Behavioral Health Unit to Address Growing Crisis

Wed, 13 Aug 2025 17:46:13 GMT

In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, the demand for pediatric mental and behavioral health services has surged to crisis levels nationwide—and Rhode Island is no exception.

For adolescents in Newport County, the situation has been especially dire, with no local acute care option for severe mental or behavioral health challenges. Until now, all of the state’s behavioral health beds have been concentrated in the Providence area—at Bradley, Hasbro Children’s, and Butler hospitals—forcing families in Newport County to seek urgent help off Aquidneck Island.

Due to the lack of resources on the island, many families have relied on Newport Hospital’s emergency department. In 2022 alone, adolescents in crisis were boarded in the ED for 290 of 365 days, often waiting an average of 14 to 18 days for inpatient placement. These youth are among the most vulnerable, struggling with self-harm, aggression, or suicidal thoughts and behaviors.

Recognizing this urgent gap, Newport Hospital is moving forward with plans for a dedicated Adolescent Behavioral Health Unit. The facility will be located on the hospital’s Sheffield 2nd floor and features six rooms and eight beds, including private and semi-private options. The space will undergo a complete interior renovation with substantial infrastructure replacements, advanced safety measures, and a secure outdoor garden for patient use.

“It’s been almost a year in planning,” said Erin O’Dollard, Senior Philanthropy Officer at the Newport Hospital Foundation. “We’ve pushed the opening to January 2026 due to staffing challenges,” but, she said, they are well on their way to meeting the deadline in the New Year. O’Dollard explained that treatment for children is different than for adults, and the hospital has been seeing 30 or more kids a day at times, which makes this support so necessary.

The unit will offer care ranging from single-day treatment to long-term hospitalization. Upon discharge, ongoing dialogue with families will ensure continued support for individuals and their loved ones. Newport Hospital is also working to secure funding for partial hospitalization programs in partnership with local schools and social workers.

The need is undeniable. Nationally, suicide became the second-leading cause of death for youth ages 10 to 24 by 2018. Rhode Island mirrors the trend: one in five children ages 6 to 17 has a diagnosable mental health disorder, and the Rhode Island Youth Behavioral Health Survey found persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness in high school students rose from 25% in 2009 to 37.8% in 2021. Calls to Kids’ Link RI , the state’s behavioral health crisis hotline, doubled between 2019 and 2021.

The project is made possible thanks to community philanthropy. Dr. Jim Nolan and his wife, Peggy, provided the lead gift, inspired by a deep commitment to adolescent mental health. Funeral Director and Owner of Memorial Funeral Home Kurt Edenbach, also contributed to the construction and development of the ward.

“It is important to have such a vital resource in our community, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic,” Edenbach said. “We’re proud to be part of the creation of this resource.”

With this new unit, Newport County’s youth will soon have local access to the specialized care they urgently need—offering hope, safety, and healing close to home.

The needs of our families are changing, and so are we

pearl@memorialfuneralhome.com (Pearl Marvell) — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 19:39:05 GMT

Here at Memorial Funeral Home, we understand that the needs of our families have and will continue to evolve over time, and we try our best to evolve with those needs. One thing that has started to come up in conversations about pre-planning and other funeral arrangements is “What green options do you have?”

As awareness of climate change and environmental impact grows, more people are seeking ways to align their values with how they live—and how they leave this world. Traditional burial and cremation methods can have significant ecological footprints, so natural burials and biodegradable urns are just some of the eco-conscious options that are reshaping how we approach death with care not only for loved ones but also for the Earth.

We decided to break down some of the more eco-conscious options that we have at Memorial Funeral Home:

Green burials

In green burials, the body is buried in a way that allows it to decompose naturally without the use of embalming chemicals or other products that can harm the environment. Typically, the body is placed in a biodegradable casket or shroud and buried in a designated green burial cemetery. Currently, there are two cemeteries in Rhode Island that permit green burials.

The Ellipse at Swan Point Cemetery and Prudence Memorial Park on Prudence Island also offer burial plots. To make the entire experience more eco-friendly, we offer electric vehicle transport services in a vehicle powered by solar panels on the roof of Memorial Funeral Home.

These practices not only reduce pollution and carbon emissions but also help preserve natural habitats by supporting conservation and woodland preserves.

Biodegradable urns

Cremations can be more eco-friendly in that they are more space-efficient and do not necessarily require the use of formaldehyde to preserve the body, however, they do release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. To counteract some of the negative effects of cremations, one can choose biodegradable urns that grow into trees, allowing a loved one’s remains to become part of a living legacy. Families can also choose digital memorials instead of traditional gravestones, reducing the demand for quarried stone and physical markers.

Green burials, for example, allow the body to return naturally to the earth without embalming or synthetic materials. The body is typically placed in a biodegradable shroud or casket, and interred in a natural setting without a concrete vault. These practices not only reduce pollution and carbon emissions, but they also help preserve natural habitats by supporting conservation cemeteries or woodland preserves.

Aquamation, or water cremation (alkaline hydrolysis), is another eco-friendly alternative. It uses water and a gentle alkali solution to break down the body, resulting in significantly lower greenhouse gas emissions compared to flame cremation. The bone fragments that remain are returned to loved ones in the same way that ashes created from flame cremation are returned.

Other innovations include biodegradable urns that grow into trees, allowing a loved one’s remains to become part of a living legacy.

How does aquamation work exactly?

Aquamation, is currently legal in 28 states and will potentially be another option that we can provide in-state soon.

The body is put into a stainless-steel chamber where an alkaline solution of water is mixed with potassium hydroxide. The chamber is then sealed, and both heat and pressure are applied. This breaks down the body’s tissues until only the bones remain, which are subsequently broken down and returned to loved ones just as they are in a traditional cremation. The whole process takes between 4 and 16 hours, depending on temperature and pressure. Aquamation uses approximately 90% less energy than conventional flame cremation—a process that emits the amount of carbon equivalent to a 500-mile car ride.

Currently, water cremation is not offered in Rhode Island, but we work with another funeral home in Connecticut that offers the service. To make the process as green as possible, we offer EV transportation for this service as well.

Choosing an eco-friendly funeral or memorial service is a meaningful way to reflect the values of a person who cared about sustainability in life. These choices help reduce the burden on our planet and offer a gentler, more natural process of returning to the Earth.

As we continue to rethink how we care for the environment, it's only natural to consider how our final choices can leave a legacy of respect—for both people and the planet. Eco-friendly end-of-life services are more than a trend; they’re part of a movement toward a more thoughtful and responsible future.

Book Review of Eddie Winston is Looking for Love

kim@memorialfuneralhome.com (Kim Shute) — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 18:55:34 GMT

Director of Community Relations Kim Shute shares with us her thoughts on the most recent book that she has read.

I have a dear friend who is extremely anti-spoiler for books, tv shows, and movies. When I write these reviews I try to keep her at the top of mind. It is a tricky thing to write a review that gives just the right amount of information to intrigue. I want you to read this review and then run right over to the library or bookstore and get a copy, as I think it can bring your heart some much needed hope and restoration. This month I am so in love with this book and the characters who populate these pages I want to tell you everything about it and them! And yet I do not want to ruin your experience so I will try to give you just enough but not too much to pique your interest.

For this month’s review I listened to  Eddie Winston is Looking for Love  by Marianne Cronin. You are in for a treat should you decide to pick up a copy of this charming, uplifting, and often funny story. The protagonist is Eddie Winston, a delightful, 90-year-old human being who continues to grow and change to live his best life. He has worked in a charity shop for 12 years and he finds it compelling and always changing.

Each month we focus on a book that has a theme about loss, grief, and/or dying. On the surface that might seem like a downer or a bummer and yet I hold the opinion that looking at and keeping an awareness of death and dying allows us a chance to deepen our appreciation of and dedication to life and living. That is what Eddie does. This book made me feel much the same way as watching Ted Lasso from Apple TV (I hope you have watched that!)

At the charity shop many of their wares come from donation after a person has died. Eddie helps to catalog the donations that come in. He has a tender habit of taking some items home that would have no monetary value, only value for the people who had them previously. He has a theory that at some point the donors will regret letting go of love letters and other one-of-a-kind items like hand painted converse sneakers. He pockets those items and puts them on his “Eddie Shelf” in his flat. 

When people make donations he often makes a personal connection with the individuals or at least he learns a bit about them if he can. Through one of these connections he meets Bella a young twenty-something who we learn has suffered the death of her young boyfriend Jake. Bella becomes very near and dear to Eddie. When she discovers that he has never been kissed among other intimate details about Eddie’s life, she encourages him to start online dating, insisting it is never too late to look for love. It seems Eddie engages in the activity as a distraction for Bella from her own grief.

As the book continues they go on some adventures together and we learn that Eddie did have a person who meant a lot to him for more than 60 years. This story has many layers and offers a glimpse into the mind and heart of a nonagenarian with all his hopes and dreams whether realized or not.

This book is about intergenerational friendship, love, and life. I invite you to give whimsical Eddie and his friends a chance to enrich your life and possibly ask yourself questions about how you live your own life. Let us know what you think of Eddie and crew.

I hope you love it as much as I did!

A Review of Sarah Silverman's PostMortem Show

kim@memorialfuneralhome.com (Kim Shute) — Fri, 20 Jun 2025 17:55:31 GMT

I still have Netflix and my reason for keeping Netflix is that they do such a good job with regular releases of stand-up comedians. I have watched a lot of different comedy styles over the last 25 years or more. I remember stealing glimpses of George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and Robin Williams as a child.

As an adult, I pay to see live shows and watch them on various streaming services.

Recently, there was one stand-up special released entitled PostMortem by comedian Sarah Silverman. I have seen Silverman’s work before, normally she is quite dark and raunchy, but this special felt like a bit of a departure from her normal material and is basically a tribute to the lives of her parents. She mostly focused on her biological father and her stepmom (who both died in 2023 within 9 days of each other), with several mentions of her biological mother who died 8 years ago. Silverman is at heart a storyteller, so she does a good job of balancing the realities of loss and the humor that exists in life and death within her narrative.

She does sneak in some of the regular Sarah Silverman material by touching a bit on sex, an odd Hitler joke, and a description of a skit she wrote for Saturday Night Live in the early 1990s which never made the air.

This special is a beautiful way to memorialize their lives and she paints their personalities so vividly I feel like I knew them. I especially appreciate how this special is a way she continues to stay connected to them and how they influenced her life and those of her siblings and grandchildren. She also put a spotlight on the need for people to plan for the inevitability of death, oddly her parents made no plans for what happens “after” (they were 80 and 85 years old).

I laughed quite a bit at the antics of her blunt family and her own idiosyncrasies. I cried at her bravery for bringing this universal human experience to the stage and sharing it.

Every time an artist like Silverman breaks the mold and brings loss and grief to the forefront, I want to stand and cheer as it doesn’t shy away from this very real part of life. Many places in life like to pretend that death doesn’t happen and yet it does. Shows like this one pave the way for regular people to have these conversations in their own families.

I feel grateful to Silverman for circulating her unique journey and perspective.

Maybe you will, too.

Meet Sam Silvia

pearl@memorialfuneralhome.com (Pearl Marvell) — Tue, 10 Jun 2025 17:03:55 GMT

If you happen to walk through Memorial Funeral Home’s doors, there is a high probability that Sam Silvia will be one of the faces that you see.

Born and raised on Aquidneck Island, Sam has been a force within the community for decades. Before working at Memorial, Sam worked for the registration department for Newport Hospital. “I was 24 years old, and I was working at Grant's department store, and somebody came in and said, ‘there's a job opening in registration at Newport Hospital part time. So, I applied and got the job.” She said. “I worked part-time and through the years I stayed in that department and then became supervisor of the department and managed a group of 24 employees.”

And she ended up working there for 48 years.

During that time, she formed a close relationship with the local funeral directors. The registration department was in charge of calling them when a patient passed away. “My staff would take them down to the morgue to ensure that they took the right body and open the door.”

Not only was Sam no stranger to death and end-of-life procedures in her work, she also faced a lot of death in her personal life as well. The first death of a loved one was her brother-in-law, who helped her out a lot with her sick husband who had juvenile diabetes and became bedridden in the last years of his life. He was driving home one day on his motorcycle and got hit by a car and died when Sam was 24 years old.

And then her husband died.

“I was 32 when my first husband died, and he was 40. And then I got married again after that, a couple of years later and that husband died when I was 57 and he was 62.” She said. “And then I had a brother that died at 44 of a glioblastoma brain tumor and lost parents in between that.” Then she lost her younger brother and sister two and three years ago, respectively. “In the meantime--right after my first husband died--I got breast cancer.” She explained. Her cancer journey brought her through a mastectomy, and when the cancer returned, she underwent another mastectomy and chemotherapy. All while raising young children who had just lost their father.

Memorial Funeral Home helped with the arrangements of all of Sam’s family members. Kurt Edenbach’s father and uncle, Charlie and Bob, both told her, “Hey, when you're done working here [Newport Hospital], come work with us.”

Eventually, she did.

“Well, I couldn't stand it when I retired. I really couldn't stand it.” She said. Sam retired from Newport Hospital in 2020 when she was 72 years old. She quickly realized that retirement wasn’t for her. “I ran into Kurt at King's Park, and he asked, ‘well what are you doing?’ I said, ‘well, I guess I'm ready.’ So, like 2 or 3 months after I retired, I went to work at the funeral home,” and she loves every minute of it.

After going through so much death and trauma in her life, how does Sam stay so positive? If you know her, she really is like a ray of light in the room. “I think because I always see worse.” She said. “I see children that are sick or dying, and I think, ‘well, at least my kids are healthy. And at least my husbands lived to be 40 and 62. And I think that the storms that I've walked through have made me a very strong person.”

Sam admitted that she does see things differently to other people, including her friends. “I just seem to know that stuff happens. What are you going to do? You can't wallow in this.” She said. Although, she does admit, her fortitude sometimes goes a little too far. “I do have a problem because I never want my kids to feel sorry for me or feel bad for me. So, I always keep a positive image around them.” She said. “I don't know if that's been the right thing to do.”

She said one of the main reasons that she got through all these hard times was thanks to having very supportive girlfriends. “My mother would always tell me, "keep your girlfriends.They'll always be around you.” And, boy, she was right.” She said.

Now, at 77 years old, Sam helps others to get through hard times. And I'm going to live to be 104.” She joked.

“I love to comfort and greet people at the door [at Memorial].” She said. “I think that I love to be a part of something, like I call it ‘my Newport Hospital’, and now I call it ‘my funeral home.’” Sam said that she takes great pride in representing Memorial Funeral Home. “Well, I think it's just my nature to be that way anyway. I just feel a sense of great responsibility to do it right.”

Sam not only greets people at the door, but she also helps with admin work, “and that helps me to keep my computer skills up.” She said. She also helps the funeral directors make sure the room for the service looks just right. But her favorite part is greeting people at the door. “Sometimes Kurt has to tell me that I'm holding up the line because I talk too much.” She joked. “The thing is, being born and raised here, I know so many people.”

Sam also loves to dress up for the services. “It gives me a purpose to not sit here in sweatpants.” She said. “And I love shoes.”

Sam is currently mad at former Funeral Director Ed Gurka, who recently retired from Memorial. “He was the one that was going to be able to make sure that all my shoes went in my coffin with me.” She joked.

And what makes for a good shoe according to Sam, you might ask? “Well, most of the time they have to pop.” She said. “So, in other words, say, if I'm wearing all black, I might wear red shoes,” which go perfectly with her red-framed glasses. “I have the problem now, at this stage of my life, I can't wear the most beautiful shoes in the world because I'm standing too long.” She said. “So now they have to be more comfortable than beautiful.”

Most importantly, though, Sam loves to interact with the families that come to Memorial. Sam says that once the family has had time with their loved one at the funeral home she will go in and let them know when people start arriving, “and they appreciate that.” She said.

Considering her experience with death over the years, she also knows what not to say to people who have suffered the loss of a loved one. “We certainly know that we should not be saying, ‘I know how you feel.’ Although I could say that, but I wouldn't.” She said. A simple, “I'm so sorry for your loss,” is perfectly acceptable, according to Sam.

She also appreciates when people tell stories about the person that is gone, “and that's the reason for these ceremonies-- some kind of closure is so important.” She said. “That's why I think it's a very important process to go through.”

Wind Phone in Portsmouth Provides a Space to Grieve and Heal

pearl@memorialfuneralhome.com (Pearl Marvell) — Wed, 21 May 2025 19:19:20 GMT

Dawn Emsellem-Wichowski heard about the wind phone in Japan and decided that her property on Sandy Point Ave in Portsmouth would be a perfect spot for one here on Aquidneck Island. “We live right on the Aquidneck Land Trust and people are walking by all the time.” She said, “It's sort of like on the spine of the island. It's on the crest along East Main Road and so it's windy all the time. I thought a wind phone is perfect here.”

The original wind phone was created in Japan by Itaru Sasaki after losing his cousin to cancer. He purchased an old-fashioned phone booth and set it up in his garden. According to the My Wind Phone website , Sasaki found comfort, connection and healing amid his grief when using the phone to speak with his cousin. Sasaki gave his phone booth a name, Kaze No Denwa, which can be translated into English as The Telephone of the Wind.

A year later on March 11th, 2011, the most powerful earthquake in recorded history hit Japan, which caused a series of tsunamis. Nearly 20,000 people lost their lives. The city of Ōtsuchi was one of the worst hit places by the tsunami, which is close to Sasaki’s residence and his wind phone became a way for many to reflect on their grief and connect with lost loved ones.

“And it was profound, its impact. It extended beyond him being able to talk to his cousin after the tsunami, people started coming to talk to their loved ones that they had lost.” Emsellen-Wichowski said. “I kind of wanted to make an American version of this.”

According Emsellen-Wichowski, the idea “fermented” in her head for a couple of years and then she found her phone booth. “I kept an eye out for a phone booth on Facebook Marketplace for like a year or two and found one in Providence.” She said, “This guy had it in his garage, and it was his cousin’s, and his cousin had gotten it from a bank that was downtown, and it was on his porch for like ten years.”

The phone booth is what people older than 30 might remember from yesteryear that was used to make calls in the pre-cellphone era. Unlike traditional phone booths, the phone inside this booth is bright red and the area surrounding the booth is filled with flowers and other plants to make it a more private experience. “I had a very particular vision of the rotary dial. I wanted like a candy apple, red rotary dial phone.” Emsellen-Wichowski said.

The idea kept percolating in her head and then the COVID-19 pandemic hit. “And I just was hearing all these stories of people who had lost loved ones and weren't able to do the usual mourning that one does where everybody gets together in person and is present and telling stories about the person.” She said. “So that kind of motivated me to get out there. And my husband and I put down a concrete pad and then checked with the town to make sure it was OK and then put the phone there.”

Then NBC 10 News came and interviewed Emsellen-Wichowski in 2021 after a family friend reposted something that she had put up about the phone booth. “Since then, people have just sort of stopped by.” She said, “Some people come back on an anniversary. “I have a notebook that I keep there, and I notice sometimes people will say, ‘I came back again this year to talk to dad’ or whatever.”

Emsellen-Wichowski said that people will oftentimes leave stones or knickknacks around the phone in honor of their person. “A project I really want to do is get a weatherproof curio cabinet so that people can put things in there,” she said, since the weather does degrade the things that people leave over time.

In the past year, the North Dartmouth High School pottery class came by and left some decorated pieces of pottery and a new cup for the pens that are there for the people to write in the log. “People come by, and you can go for a walk afterwards because it's really beautiful at all times of year.” Emsellen-Wichowski said.

She said that the phone booth needs some updates, like the seat inside needs to be redone and the solar fairy lights inside the lamp need to be replaced. She is also going to add a magnetic poetry board and a kinetic sculpture to make the site more kid-friendly.

“I have a blackberry patch and I'm going to put a little sign there that says you can pick them,” she said. She also added a porch swing on one side. “So, I've been sort of adding to it to make it so that there are lots of options if people come by and they want to sit in the swing after they visit the phone and stare at the cows.”

Emsellen-Wichowski also added that the booth is very private. She never shares anything personal that is written in the log and whenever she notices people heading to the booth, she makes sure to give them their privacy. She understands the importance of giving people the time to grieve in their own way.

“There's just so many different ways that people experience grief. As many different ways as people love or have a family.” She said, “There's a lot of diversity and there's also a lot of shared experiences. It's quite moving.”

You can find the location of the wind phone on the booth’s Instagram account which is @goosefieldswindphone, or by clicking here .

My First Motherless Mothers’ Day

kim@memorialfuneralhome.com (Kim Shute) — Tue, 06 May 2025 21:15:40 GMT

I don’t know about you, but Mother’s Day was a big deal for my grandmother in the 1980 and 90s, so we did the whole thing, reservations at a fancy restaurant (one looked like an actual castle!), Sunday best outfits were worn, a corsage was purchased, and the entire day was set aside to pay homage to our matriarch.

As a kid I knew about and respected the tradition.

When my grandmother died, my mother liked to be recognized for the holiday but not in the same ways. I think she did not like the connotation of matriarch. In her mind that meant she was OLD, and that was to be avoided at all costs. In fact, she did not even want to be called grandma, she thought Empress Shute was a way better title. We would give a small gift, with a heartfelt card, and my husband, son, and I, would have brunch with her. During these meals, she was of course the focus of our attention.

At other times we would gather with our extended family and make it a bigger production. As she got older, and her hearing got worse, she was less interested in participating. Then she suffered a brain injury in 2019, and she was mostly disconnected or if she wasn't, it was quite superficial. All this is to give you the backstory as this Sunday will be my first Mothers’ Day without a living mother and I feel a bit like an orphaned child.

In my life I have limited exposure to advertising, and this is intentional on my part. I have very little to do with social media anymore which made my recent trip to Walgreen’s a bit more jarring. Upon entering I saw a giant 3-foot-wide helium balloon adorned with a scrolling font declaring Happy Mothers’ Day. I thought to myself “OK, that is coming up, weird, my mom is dead.” I walked a few more feet into the store and saw an end cap display of “flowers for mom.” Then I thought, “I wonder how I will feel on Mothers’ Day, this Sunday? “My errand required me to go deeper into their aisles. Then a carboard tower of cards for mothers expressing loving sentiments about their impact and significance upon the purchaser’s life. This was about a 7-minute experience, and I didn’t like it.

These were just so many obvious and in-your-face reminders. I know there were more lurking behind other corners within the store. This was only one store. What will it be like at grocery or department stores for those of us whose mothers have died?

Unfortunately, I can’t protect us by creating stores without those reminders. What I can do is say, “I am sorry your mom died and that the world dares to go on without her. I am also sorry that the world forgets our reality.”

I want to take care of those who grieve and acknowledge that it can be a lovely tradition for others to be able to honor their living mom, mum, mother, mama, ma, mommy, mummy, and whatever other names we call them.

I see you; all your experiences and feelings are valid. I hope you can do something this Mother’s Day that is right for you and the memories you have of your maternal figure whether she is still physically here on the planet or has taken her leave. We are thinking of you in life and living and death and dying.

Political scientist Dr. Robert D. Putnam speaks about the state of American democracy

pearl@memorialfuneralhome.com (Pearl Marvell) — Fri, 18 Apr 2025 16:39:11 GMT

On April 15th political scientist and author, Dr. Robert D. Putnam gave a lecture at Salve Regina University called What is the State of American Democracy Today?, which was cosponsored by RENewport , a community collaborative based in Newport. Dr. Putnam is known for his work on how civic engagement in society is a bellwether for the state of democracy. One of his best-known works is Bowling Alone in America: The Collapse and Revival of American Community , which addresses the cultural consequences of dramatically declining rates of participation in America’s civic associations, from religious communities to recreational clubs.

The talk was kicked off by an introduction from former U.S. Representative for Rhode Island, David Cicilline who is now the president and chief executive officer of the Rhode Island Foundation. The day prior to the talk, there was a screening co-sponsered by Memorial Funeral Home and RENEWport of a documentary about Dr. Putnam’s work called Join or Die, which was screened at the Jane Pickens Theater. The political scientist began the talk by discussing the current state of our political system and democracy. “I’ve tried very hard in my work to be bipartisan,” he said, mentioning that he has worked with “all three Bush’s” during his career as a political scientist. However, what he did assert is that America today has reached historic levels of political polarization, economic inequality, social isolation and cultural self-centeredness, which is reflected in our current political situation.

He explained that the wealth gap that exists now is bigger than it was even in the Gilded Age. The only time similar to what we are going through now was at the turn of the 20th century. What happened after this period was the establishment of social security, the Boys Scouts of America and other civic safety nets.

Dr. Putnam explained that the ‘60s were considered a time when Americans were most equal in economic terms, although he was quick to point out the lack of equality for women and people of color. Now, “we are a class-divided society,” he said, not just in economic terms, but in recognition. “We don’t think the person pumping gas is the same as us.” He said. Dr. Putnam suggested that the next time the audience members go to a supermarket checkout or have their gas pumped for them, that they ask themselves, “do I think of that person as an equal?”

According to Dr. Putnam, we as a society were able to fix similar problems before, so we should be able to fix the problems we face now. What we need is to engage our youth more to lead these movements, much like what Greta Thunberg has done with climate change, as well as ensure that it is grassroots led. It needs to be bottom-up, not top down. “We should be getting to work locally,” he said.

The political scientist also talked about social media’s role in this lack of “social capital” as he calls civic engagement. Studies have shown that social media platforms like X and Facebook are designed to favor outrage and anger over other types of messaging, as well as foster in people feeling of increased isolation and loneliness. Face-to-fact engagement just cannot be replaced by a virtual reality.

According to Dr. Putnam, what we need is a renewed sense of moral obligation to fix our society. “It won’t get fixed this time unless you and your children and students take up this moral calling,” he said as he addressed the full auditorium. “I think for sure there is the desire to fix the problem,” he continued.

Dr. Putnam concluded the talk saying that he was hopeful for the future and paraphrased the late English Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks that optimism is a passive virtue, but hope is an active one. Hopefully we can all be more hopeful!

Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 20:32:00 GMT

Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter

Shrinking is a series on Apple TV+ and we absolutely love it! The series is irreverent in many ways and if you are not a fan of shall we say, mature (or perhaps immature) humor, then it might not be the series for you. If you can handle that, however, you should give it a go. Not only is it entertaining, but it offers insight into what grief often look like. The best part is that there are now two seasons out, so you can binge watch to your heart's content!

Jason Segel plays therapist Jimmy Laird who is grieving the death of his wife, albiet not in the most healthy of ways. After watching his patients get nowhere is their treatment, Jimmy decides to treat them in a more hands-on and unconventional approach. While his new way of treating his patients seems to work initially, he soon finds out that the long term results are disasterous.

While this show is a comedy, it shines a bright light on the complicated emotions someone feels when they lose someone. Not only is Jimmy grieving, so is his teenage daughter who resents her father for not being there for her when she needed him most. A tough reminder for so many that even when we are grieving we have to show up for those who need us.

Instead of confronting his feelings, Jimmy instead decides to numb them in a variety of ways. When he stops doing that, however, he starts to move forward with his life, although with a few regressive moments here and there.

Harrison Ford plays Jimmy’s grumpy mentor, Dr. Paul Rhoades in the series and there chemistry is delightful. Ford’s character is also grieving in his own way after being diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease, which slowly makes him more reliant on others.

The talented Jessica Williams plays colleague and friend of Jimmy and Christa Miller plays Jimmy’s nosy, but very good-hearted neighbor.

We are hoping that Shrinking renews for another season!

First Steps After Someone Dies

Mon, 14 Apr 2025 18:37:00 GMT

First Steps After Someone Dies

When a loved one passes away — no matter how expected their passing might be –the list of things that need to be done can be overwhelming.

The first thing that will need to be done is obtaining a legal pronouncement of death. This is done by a medical professional and will be done by staff if your loved one passes at a hospital or in hospice. If your loved one dies at home, then 911 should be called so that their body can be transferred to a hospital where the declaration will be made and they can then be transferred to a funeral home.

That is why it is important to share the load with friends and family. The only way to get through it all is to divide and conquer.

Then what?

Hopefully, your loved one did some planning prior to their passing. Ideally, they have prepaid for all funeral arrangements, or at least left a document explaining their wishes. If no plans or designation has been made, then someone will have to be the person to make all the decisions.

If a designation has not been made for who will take care of the funeral arrangements, the spouse, surviving partner, or closest surviving relative will be responsible for such decisions. For those who don’t have immediate family to handle these arrangements, or have special requests that they want to make sure are fulfilled, anyone, regardless of relation, can be designated responsible for funeral arrangements in Rhode Island. An official funeral planning designation form can be found here. It should be printed, filled out and notarized, and shared with your healthcare proxy and funeral planning agent.

Tell Friends and Family

The next step is to let people know, whether that be through a group email or text chain, or going through your loved one’s contact list and contacting each person individually. If you have access to your loved one’s social media, writing something there can be a good way to ensure that you have not left anyone out.

Social media pages like Facebook allow you to memorialize a deceased person’s account so it will continue to exist as a page where friends and family can share memories.

Time for Funeral Arrangements

Within a few days of a loved one’s passing, it is now time to start making the funeral arrangements. It is highly advised that families plan out as much of their funeral arrangements as possible well before their time comes as this will help surviving loved ones in the long run. Click here for more information about planning ahead.

If your family has not planned their funeral or paid for it, this is when you will need someone to take charge of the arrangements and most likely pay out of pocket until the probate process has been finalized (read more about that here ) .

If the person was in the military at any point, work with your funeral director to contact the Veteran’s Administration to see if there are any benefits for which your loved one is eligible. The funeral home that you choose should be able to help you with this as well.

There will be many questions that will need answering for the funeral arrangements, so it is best to rely on other friends and family to help at this time. Who will write and read the eulogy? Cremation or burial? End-of-life celebration or traditional funeral? Who will write the obituary? Answering all of these by yourself will be overwhelming, so make sure at least one other person is helping you with all of this.

Copies of Death Certificate

Once a death certificate is recorded, you will need to get copies in order to shut down bank accounts, investments accounts and credit cards. The funeral home will notify the Social Security Administration, but you should also contact SSA to verify changes in benefits.

Even if your loved one has left behind a will and prepaid their funeral, it is advisable to get a CPA and estate attorney involved, especially if their assets value more than $50,000. Tax returns might need to be filed for that year and it is helpful to have an accountant working on this.

Keep track of all bills as the estate is being settled to ensure that they are paid. This helps in that when everything is finalized, the person who paid those bills is reimbursed.

For more information on what will need to be done in the days and weeks after a loved one’s death, here are some additional resources:

United Way: Immediate Steps to Take When a Loved on Dies

What To Do After Someone Dies

When a Death Occurs – Remembering A Life

Here at Memorial Funeral Home, we also provide aftercare resources for families. This support is provided by licensed counselors and our funeral directors who are educated in such programs. Please feel free to contact us if you have any questions.

Review of A Heart That Works by Rob Delaney

kim@memorialfuneralhome.com (Kim Shute) — Sun, 30 Mar 2025 18:56:46 GMT

I am a fan of stand-up comedy and one comedian I enjoy is Rob Delaney. He is not for the faint of heart as he pushes many envelopes and is quite gritty. A few years back he disappeared from stand-up which caused me to search for him. He was working on a show in London, and I learned that he and his wife, Leah, had lived through the unbearable loss of their two-year-old son Henry to brain cancer in 2018. They experienced the insufferable death of their precious sweet bundle of joy, and the cruel reality that we are not in charge of what happens to us and those we love.

After the death of my husband (almost 10 years ago) I found reading about loss experiences of others to be a comfort. It may seem odd or like I was seeking out more pain and suffering, but really what I was searching for was company, I was tired of feeling alone in my grief. Books like Delaney’s make me feel less isolated.

Delaney wrote about the experience in A Heart That Works in 2022. Should you choose this book, buckle up as it is not easy on the eyes or ears and yet I can imagine for some it might bring inexplicable comfort for those who have experienced a loss like his. He gives voice to a painful and true-life event that happens to families across the globe that are often relegated to pediatric hospitals, hospices facilities, and private homes. I appreciate and applaud his bravery for letting us into his tender, vulnerable, and intimate life.

Delaney has definite opinions about the world in which we live, especially around healthcare in the US and he makes no bones about it in his real-life comparison to the free public healthcare accessible to all residents in the UK, where his family lives. He swears a lot and if that bothers you, I recommend you pass on this short work of art and testament to his love for family and especially for his late son Henry.

Some of the descriptions are hard to witness about the medical aspects of Henry’s illness, treatment, and death. Delaney’s candor is both arresting and refreshing, he does not mince words or worry about you as a reader. He paints a realistic picture of the devastating and overwhelming experiences of hospital life with a toddler struggling through brain cancer and tempers it with effortless gratitude and grace.

Delaney, originally from New England, is now in his late ‘40s and has struggled with depression and alcoholism in his life. In this book, he is able to shine a light for us on lessons that surface about life and death. His humanity is raw and unedited, and he shares it with those of us who decide to witness it.

If you take a risk listening to or reading his memoir let us know what you think.

A new cremation option is considered for approval to give RI families more choices

pearl@memorialfuneralhome.com (Pearl Marvell) — Thu, 27 Mar 2025 22:10:21 GMT

Now, there might be a new option for the eco-conscious

Figuring out the details of how you would like your body to be honored at the end of your life is hardly anyone’s favorite subject to talk about, but it certainly is an essential one.

Soon, there might be another option on the table here in Rhode Island: water cremation. Also known as alkaline hydrolysis or aquamation, Memorial Funeral Home is preparing to offer its families this type of service should it be legalized.

The process came about in the latter half of the 1800s when a farmer discovered a way to turn his deceased farm animals into a fertilizer that made plants grow incredibly well. In the 2000’s medical institutes started to use the process to create ashes from medical training cadavers, but it wasn’t until 2010 that a funeral home in Ohio offered aquamation as a service for human remains. It came into the global spotlight when Archbishop Desmond Tutu --an avid proponent of clean energy and protecting of the environment--opted for water cremation upon his death in 2022. Now, 28 states have legalized it, and Rhode Island could be on that list as well in the not-so-distant future.

Rhode Island Representative Michelle McGaw who represents District 71, which encompasses Northern Portsmouth, Southern Tiverton, and all of Little Compton, sponsored legislation that passed in the Rhode Island House of Representatives last year, which could make two new eco-friendly options available: human composting and alkaline hydrolysis legal by 2026.

Originally, McGaw only knew about human composting, a process that takes about 45 days for a body to break down into one cubic yard of soil. “I had been hearing about it and reading about it, and then I had a constituent who contacted me and said, ‘hey, you know, this is something I would like to do. How do we make it so that we can do this in Rhode Island?’” McGaw said. “And so, I put in a bill kind of just really to gauge and find out what kind of interest there might be,” she said. "I was very pleasantly surprised at the outpouring of support that came to me in the form of emails and phone calls and texts, people from across the state who said, ‘I really love this idea.’”

And then Kim Shute, Memorial Funeral Home’s director of community relations reached out to McGaw and told her about alkaline hydrolysis as another potential option for Rhode Island residents. “We’ve been looking at what’s been happening and the changing needs and wants of our community and we wanted to be part of the solution,” Shute said. “It is better for our families to have another option.”

Both human composting and water cremation have significantly smaller carbon footprints than traditional fire cremation. Aquamation uses approximately 90% less energy than conventional flame cremation—a process that emits the amount of carbon equivalent to a 500-mile car ride.

“As we continue to see cremation become the more popular choice for our families, working to create options within that choice seems natural, just like picking one cemetery over another,” said Kurt Edenbach, funeral director and co-owner of Memorial Funeral Home. “As a lifelong island resident of Aquidneck Island, I feel a responsibility to take care of our environment and this option provides us with the opportunity to do something that is less damaging to our air and surroundings.”

Alkaline hydrolysis has been used by vets for years, and the process for humans is not that different. The body is put into a stainless-steel chamber where an alkaline solution of water is mixed with potassium hydroxide. The chamber is then sealed and both heat and pressure are applied. This breaks down the body’s tissues until only the bones remain, which are subsequently broken down and returned to loved ones just as they are when a traditional cremation is used. The whole process takes between 4 and 16 hours, depending on temperature and pressure.

Seth Viddal is the founder of The Natural Funeral , a funeral home that serves the Lafayette and Loveland areas of Colorado. He said that they started offering alkaline hydrolysis in August of 2019. He explained that the water that flows over the body only goes up to about 195 degrees, essentially blanketing the body in a warm bath. “Our system is about a three and a half to four-hour process that accomplishes the dissolution of a human body in that time, and then it's followed by a drying process for the bone fragments,” he said.

According to Viddal, the whole process uses a total of 24 gallons: 12 gallons for the actual process and another 12 that is used to rinse the system that is then cycled back as runoff.

Viddal said he got in the funeral service after the deaths of his parents and a younger brother. “They all died in in a real short period of time, and I found myself kind getting sort of run through the grinder of casket selection and embalming and all of these choices that really didn't match the values of my family,” he said. Colorado had already passed a law in 2011 that permitted alkaline hydrolysis, “just nobody was doing it.” Said Viddal

So, he started a funeral home that offers everything from funeral pyres to human composting and water cremation . “People would say, ‘well, my person was an activist and they put solar panels on their house and they drove a hybrid car and they rainscaped their yard, and they composted their kitchen scraps. And the last thing that I want to do is fill them with chemicals.’” He explained. So that is why he began offering these more environmentally friendly types of services.

Viddal said that that alkaline hydrolysis or water cremation is quite popular. “I think we're approaching our 500th water cremation,” he said.

In the hopes that that this will soon be an option for communities in Rhode Island, Memorial Funeral Home is looking to experts in this area like Viddal to see how this service can be implemented here on Aquidneck Island. Like McGaw said, “I can’t imagine doing anything more respectful than doing what your loved one wants.”

We could not agree more.

Review of Maybe You Should Talk

kim@memorialfuneralhome.com (Kim Shute) — Fri, 21 Mar 2025 16:45:51 GMT

We have decided to add a book review section to our newsletter upon occasion that relates to themes around death, dying, and bereavement. I did not quite realize exactly how many books are related to these topics. I thought I would have to search harder, but the books keep falling across my path.

Recently, I was playing Wingspan online with a friend who lives in Washington State, and she mentioned the book she was currently reading. She and I often enjoy the same books, so I knew I had to reserve Maybe You Should Talk to Somone by Lori Gottlieb through the Libby library app.

This book is considered a genre I have never seen before: Memoir/Self-Help. I wholeheartedly agree with this label. I felt entertained, deeply moved, and self-reflective. I was never bored, and it was challenging to motivate myself to do things other than read this 835-page tome. Since I read the last page, I miss the author’s voice and the clients she so thoroughly captures on the pages.

Gottlieb toggles back and forth throughout the book between her own individual therapy after an unexpected break-up (loss again!), as well as the clients she sees in her private practice. It is such a pleasure to see all the people depicted change and grow even when those changes are tiny.

We follow the story of a young cancer patient and all the loss that follows such a journey. We are stunned to see the death of a child in a car accident and the grief of the surviving parents. We see people who are emotionally inaccessible become less armored and why they put on defenses in the first place. We see people who have lived long lives riddled with mistakes and the hurt that is sometimes born from them. We see people grow up and take responsibility for their own actions or inaction. We see people own their emotional baggage and turn their lives around. Ultimately this is a book about finding meaning in all our moments no matter how close we are to our own mortality.

Many people wonder how we who work in funeral service can do what we do each day; they wonder if it is too depressing. For me it is often sad and reminds me how important it is to choose life and to live each moment as we don’t know how long we get. Working with death and the bereaved helps me to remember how critical it is to make positive use of my time on earth.

I am working towards being less afraid that my life is likely more than half over. This work has me thinking about my bucket list, what is on yours? Following the next funeral, memorial, or celebration of life you attend I invite you to really reflect on how you are living your one precious life, right now. Thanks, Mary Oliver.

I hope you will consider reading. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone to give you a little perspective. You know what they say, use it or lose it.

Let us talk about rituals

kim@memorialfuneralhome.com (Kim Shute) — Sun, 23 Feb 2025 21:42:01 GMT

Why? You might say.

A ritual is a set of structured actions (sometimes repeated) which are often formal and performed in a ceremony of some kind. They often carry symbolic, cultural, religious, or personal significance. Other words for ritual could be ceremony, tradition, custom, and observance to name a few. Some people might even use the word routine interchangeably; my husband used to title his morning routine around coffee as his morning ritual. Although through my lens, routine is a bit lower stakes on the emotional front, routine is habitual and practical, like brushing one’s teeth. I am not often brought to tears of joy or sorrow when I unload the dishwasher, it is simply a routine chore. If it had more significance, then maybe it could be considered a ritual.

We know that many people find rituals comforting and they can continue to be a source of comfort long after a death. If those rituals serve you, we are happy that you have that trusted template.

This article is for those who might not feel comforted by long standing traditions for some reason, those who feel resistant to ritual. Many studies as well as anecdotal stories have shown repeatedly that well-planned and timed rituals bring comfort to the bereaved.

What do you think about rituals?

If you think about your life, what rituals have you participated in or observed? What customs come to mind when you allow yourself to focus on the idea of rituals? Rituals are most often associated with life’s rites of passage like births, marriages, death, religious, or other cultural observances. These types of ceremony may involve a community or an individual. It is possible that the word ritual feels scary to some because they believe it must be of spiritual significance, or it must follow a script someone else has written. Perhaps those scripts do not serve you or they do not seem like a good match for you and your family.

Rituals help in a variety of ways: an emotional outlet, a sense of connection to the deceased, a path to realize the meaning of life, gathering of social support, a time-tested tool for coping, and both physical and mental health benefits. They offer a structured way to express emotions, allowing mourners to release grief in a controlled, and supported environment. Studies suggest that participating in rituals helps people process emotions, reducing anxiety, and promoting healing. Rituals can create a sense of closure by marking the end of life, which helps the bereaved accept the reality of the loss.

Rituals can be imbued with a deeper meaning and tied to a specific spiritual practice, or you can create a ritual yourself. A ritual I often perform on the anniversary of my husband’s death is to purchase his favorite beer, Chimay, and raise a glass with his friends or even meet at his grave and pour a little sip on his flowers. I think of this as a ritual because I have repeated the action a few times when I want to remember him or feel closer to him. I involved others who loved him or who love me, and it is connected to him because his favorite beer is the center of the observance. It has a more casual feel to it, and it still feels connected to him and all those who love him and share a beer with me.

When my husband died nine years ago ago, I felt like I needed a ritual and at the same time I was scared about having one. In the weeks leading up to it I could not concentrate and sometimes it felt like I could not breathe. The day of the memorial surprised me by being such a comfort, to hear stories about his quirky and often obstinate personality. The stories varied from ones I knew by heart to delightfully fresh ones I had never heard. Both kinds of sharing were like a thirst-quenching drink for someone lost in the desert. I still have the eulogies in print form as well as note cards friends wrote in the pews while huddled together seeking comfort about why life sometimes ends too soon.

These rituals can hold and squeeze us in their warmth and familiarity. The rituals can help provide a context for loss in this life which may eventually lead to meaning making once the initial shock has passed. Rituals can reaffirm faith or values, which offer solace during the grieving process. Another way the rituals may help the bereaved is by connecting them with the legacy and memories of their loved one. For me this meant bringing everyone who was touched by my husband to a familiar place where we could reminisce openly in a format we recognized and that brought peace and groundedness to an unbearable time in our lives.

Sadly, in our grief avoidant culture the bereaved may often experience isolation, but death rituals can be a remedy for that by providing a communal space for collective mourning. Rituals create a time for family, friends, and community to join, reinforcing supportive bonds. Normalizing grief is one of the best ways to remind people that they are not alone in their sorrow.

Researchers have found that performing rituals—whether cultural, religious, or personal—gives the bereaved a sense of control in an otherwise chaotic experience. Even simple or individual rituals, like lighting a candle or saying a prayer, can provide calm and a sense of safety. The griever gets to decide on the song choices or the readings, the way they want to remember this pivotal moment. For me, what seemed silly and frivolous and totally representative of my husband was to play three of his favorite songs Enjoy Yourself by Todd Snider, Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Eric Idle from Monty Python, and May I Suggest by Red

Molly, not typical funeral choices but it felt right and singularly him.

If you are ritual resistant for some reason, you can call it something else. You could simply call it a gathering. A gathering gives you permission to let go of the heaviness of the word ritual.

People who actively engage in rituals/gatherings often report a greater ability to cope with their loss over time. Some studies have shown that those who participate in meaningful death gatherings may experience lower levels of prolonged grief, which can otherwise result in long-term emotional distress and an inability to re-engage in a meaningful life. By fostering social connection and emotional expression, rituals can lead to better psychological outcomes, potentially reducing the risk of depression or anxiety which sometimes accompany bereavement.

Overall, rituals/gatherings provide psychological, emotional, and social benefits, making them a valuable tool in helping the bereaved navigate the complexities of grief. If you did not have a gathering of some kind, big or small, or you are unsure if it is right for you, we invite you to reconsider.

We are here any time to talk about your options and alternatives.

October Newsletter

Wed, 05 Feb 2025 22:07:38 GMT

Wow, October is almost done and November is just on the horizon! As we enter into the season of holidays, it can be even harder for those who have lost loved ones. Remembering special memories that you had with them and going through the pain of not having the ability to create new ones can be debilitating.

In November, our Director of Community Relations and Grief Educator, Kim Shute will be running two workshops about “Hope for the Holidays” at Portsmouth Public Library from 1pm-2:30pm on Nov. 14th and another at the Middletown Public Library from 12:30pm-2pm on Nov. 16th.

Experiencing loss can change the way we feel about those important dates in our lives, so please join us to discover ways of reducing stress and finding some peace during the holiday season.

No registration or sign up needed.

Taking a look at funerals around the world

Have you ever wondered how other countries and cultures say goodbye to their loved ones? This past month, we published an article about how people say honor loved ones. This month, we are highlighting Dia de Muertos, which is a Mexican tradition that is celebrated on November 2nd by people of Mexican descent both in Mexico and around the world.

Mexico’s Dia de Muertos may be one of the most familiar funeral rituals globally, often shown in movies for its visuals of bright yellow flowers, altars dotted with candles and candy skulls among a crowd dancing to uptempo music.

The Day of the Dead is believed to be a Mexican tradition dating back before the settlement of Spanish colonizers in the 16th century. The ritual was likely influenced by the Aztec people of Mexico and is celebrated on All Souls’ Day attributable to the mixing of Spanish Catholic beliefs with Indigenous ones.

Families in Mexico and parts of the United States, Philippines and Brazil gather on November 2nd to place photos, food, drinks and small gifts on home altars to celebrate their ancestors. Because of the growing popularity of the ritual in films, Mexico City now has an elaborate Dia de Muertos parade donning large floats and dancers with bright costumes.

For more information on other funeral traditions and customs, click on the button below.

Putting Style Into Saying Goodbye

A new way of preparing for death is popping up in the U.S. and the UK. Recently, the New York Times wrote about two funeral homes (one in London, one in Brooklyn, New York) that are changing the look and feel of funerals. Read more about it by clicking the link below.

Is cremation part of your end-of-life plans?

There are a few things that you need to know...

Cremation and urns have become very much part of mainstream culture that they are even talked about on TikTok. “I wanted to make sure that I spend eternity as something that I liked.” Said influencer Betty from the dynamic duo of Betty & Barb .

But there are a few things that many people are not aware of when it comes to cremation.

Helpful Articles

Fri, 31 Jan 2025 20:23:47 GMT

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As 2024 draws to a close, it is pretty safe to say that we are all reflecting on the highs and lows of this year. For some of you, this was probably a really hard year, especially if you lost a loved one. As we face the New Year, and think about how we can better prepare ourselves and our loved ones for the future, here are a few articles on our site that can hopefully help you make some of those important decisions. Thank you for entrusting in us!

It is inevitable that at some point, our lives will end. When that happens, it is important that we leave behind clear instructions for what is to happen to our worldly possessions.“It is an excellent idea, but so many people don’t do it,” says Ed Gurka, a funeral director at Memorial Funeral Home who has years of experience navigating families through the oftentimes confusing steps that follow the death of a loved one. Read more here.
The way we honor those who have passed is as varied as the plethora of cultures that exist. In the past few decades, with more and more people identifying as not religious, there has been more questioning of what do we really need in order honor those who have moved on? Do we need a sometimes costly, traditional funeral service and ceremony, or would something more intimate and personalized be more apt? Read more here.
As concerns for the environment continue to grow, more and more people are considering how their final arrangements impact the planet. Green funerals, also known as eco-funerals or natural burials, have become increasingly popular in the United States as a way to minimize the environmental impact of traditional funerals. Read more here .

Wreaths Across America Mobile Exhibit

Memorial Funeral home helped organize a pit stop for the Wreaths Across America Mobile Exhibit in Middletown at St. Lucy’s Catholic Church. The exhibit offered visitors a chance to learn more about what Wreaths Across America does, and how to get other cemeteries to participate in the laying of wreaths at veterans’ graves on Dec. 14th. In total, 110 wreaths were donated, 276 visitors came, and eight Vietnam vets were acknowledged for their military service and the sacrifices that they made.

How to make sure that it's all taken care of

Sat, 04 Jan 2025 12:16:19 GMT

Who here has ever heard someone say with regards to their funeral arrangements, “it is all taken care of”? How each person defines “all taken care of” has quite a range and on one end of the spectrum is practically nothing is planned and at the other end, every “i” is dotted and each “t” is crossed.

In my family we lean towards the latter, which is a load off the mind of those left behind. In my work at Memorial Funeral Home, I constantly hear stories of when a parent or spouse, sibling, grandparent, aunt, friend etc. says, “don’t worry it is all taken care of…” and the adult children leave it at that and ask no follow up questions. When the eventuality comes to pass, the adult children (or family and friends left in charge of arrangements) discover only a cemetery plot has been purchased, but there are so many other details, like selecting hymns, picking out clothing for the deceased, and so many other little details.

Here is a list of questions (not exhaustive by any means) that can help ensure everything really is all set:

Is a viewing before burial or cremation important? 
What church or religious presence do you want (if any at all)? 
How will the deceased get to the cemetery? 
How will you honor their life? 
Will their body be cremated or buried? 
Which casket or urn? 
Where is the final resting place? Possibly a cemetery lot or a special place for scattering.
Will there be music at the service? What are some favorite songs or styles of music? 
Will there be readings? 
Who will do the eulogy? 
Where will the service be? 
Who oversees the decisions? Who is a backup planner, do they have legal authority to do so? 
Will there be food and beverages after the ceremony? Any special requests or favorite recipes? 
What about picture boards and a slideshow, who has the pictures? 
Who will pay for it? 
Who will write the obituary? Where will it be published? 
What do you do if members of the family can’t get along? The more you can plan in advance and reduce decisions by survivors, the less likely they are going to struggle with all the decisions to be made.

There are many more questions that need answers than these basic ones. The process of ensuring that final wishes are honored is called advance planning, pre-need planning, or a pre-arrangement. One of the benefits to this type of planning is to reduce stress levels of the bereaved as much as possible while setting them on a healthy grieving path. Surviving family and friends will be able to focus on their loss instead of logistical details. 

After a loss whether expected or unexpected, families and friends left behind can be emotional. Making decisions at an emotional time can be very difficult and sometimes leads to regrets. We cannot think of a family we have served over the 90 years we have been providing services who were angry about having a pre-need plan in place. Most are so grateful that they do not have to make a massive number of decisions when they are under duress. 

Another reason to pre-plan is because once the plan is written down, you can rest easy, and your personal preferences will be respected whether that means specific religious, cultural traditions, or a unique secular celebration of life. If you leave it to others, they will just be doing their best to guess what you would like. 

Should you decide this is a good choice for your family and want to meet with a funeral director and you will be led through as many of the planning decisions as you want. Once final decisions are made, they need to be shared. It’s rare that you will need to worry about this, but if your wishes need to be protected against undesired changes by family, then you need to ensure you have taken the right steps for your state of residence. 

In RI, you can sign a pre-need contract with a properly credentialed institution. For the funding portion of the discussion, you can either make payment arrangements over several months or years depending on your budget or you can pay for it all at once. In the state of Rhode Island, the money you put down for your funeral/memorial services is placed into a trust which means the account is still the property of the individual, not given over to the funeral home. If a funeral home goes out of business your money remains protected, and it can be switched to another funeral home. 

Other than the above-mentioned benefit to your remaining family/friends, early selection and pre-payment provides some financial predictability by way of establishing an agreement with today’s prices for future services. The interest earned on the prepaid funds is often used to offset the future costs and may provide a price assurance or guarantee. Each funeral home has its own policies regarding the price guarantee. The way the company can provide those assurances is with the interest earned on the money placed into the trust. 

There are some items that will likely be a part of your plans, and you may want to include allowances for those costs, like obituaries, flowers, and food after the service. We cannot predict future pricing. These are called cash advances, or third-party expenses. You can still set money aside for that, but those items are often not covered by the price guarantee and may not cover the entire bill in the future. 

Should you select to pre-plan and prepay for the expenses the money (up to a certain dollar amount) can be protected from Medicaid should you end up in a long-term care facility. If the account has been given irrevocable status, it will not count as part of the Spend Down process with Medicaid. 

If you do arrange the pre-plan, please make sure your nearest and dearest know what funeral home you used for arrangements or better yet ask them to join you for the meeting. Be aware that some families do not like to talk about what happens when people die, so enter those conversations delicately.

Please make sure whatever funeral home or cremation provider you use is a licensed and trusted provider. We hope this helps demystify the idea of planning ahead and prepaying for funeral expenses, as well as providing you with some information about the right way to setup a trust and pre-plan funerals.

If you have any questions,  please call us  to set up a time to go over your questions and the process in greater detail. Most funeral homes are willing to sit down and guide you through the planning process at no cost or commitment. Just call and ask for an appointment. 

Wreaths Across America’s Mobile Exhibit will visit Middletown to Honor Veterans and Supporters

gabriella.iannetta@gmail.com (Gabriella Iannetta) — Sun, 24 Nov 2024 15:01:30 GMT

Memorial Funeral Homes & St. Lucy’s Catholic Church are proud to announce a local stop for the Wreaths Across America Mobile Education Exhibit national tour.

Rhode Islanders will have the chance to honor fallen soldiers as part of a nation-wide tour remembering those who served in the military.

The public is welcome to a free exhibit bringing people together through interactive displays, short films and shared stories on veterans and military service inside a mobile museum. Wreaths Across America is widely admired for placing more than 2.7 million wreaths at 3,700 locations around the world every year. But its mission is to educate and remember veterans yearlong, leading to the introduction of its Mobile Education Exhibit offering, now visiting several states along the East Coast.

Memorial Funeral Homes and St. Lucy's Catholic Church are working together with the organization to put Middletown on the map for a national tour teaching the next generation "the value of freedom."

“The Mobile Education Exhibit provides the unique opportunity for communities to come together and share the stories of those who served and sacrificed." Wreaths Across America executive director Karen Worcester said in a press release.

The free exhibit is open to the public at 909 West Main Road from Dec. 2 to Dec. 3 between 10a to 6p; Dec. 4 between 10a to 4p. Donations will go to funding wreaths for the graves of veterans on Dec. 14 at the Veteran's Memorial Cemetery in Exeter, RI.

Elf is Coming Back to Jane Pickens Theater!

Thu, 21 Nov 2024 14:23:00 GMT

MFH Will Host Annual Showing of Elf!

It’s back!

Memorial Funeral Home will host its annual showing of “Elf” at the Jane Pickens Theater on December 15th at 2pm! Doors will open at 1pm and entry is free with a donation of non-perishable food items for the Martin Luther King Jr. Center.

Memorial Funeral Home Director and Co-Owner, Kurt Edenbach is excited to be hosting the showing yet again. He will also be dressing up as “Elf’s” protagonist, “Buddy” as he has for every showing over the past decade.

Be sure to get there early, especially if you plan on dressing up as your favorite elf! There will be prizes at the door for the best dressed.

Admission is free! All we ask is that you bring non-perishable food to donate to the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center food pantry. You can also give us a call at Memorial Funeral Home at 401 846 0698 or email us at info@memorialfuneralhome.com if you have any questions.

For more information on the MLK Jr. Community Center or to learn how you can donate and/or volunteer your time, go to www.mlkccenter.org .

Taking a look at funerals around the world

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 14:47:23 GMT

There’s no definitive answer on when, exactly, humans started to bury their own people–spouses, siblings, parents–because burial sites were hardly preserved.

Some of the earliest examples of human burials are believed to have occurred between the Middle Paleolithic 300,000 years ago in what is now South Africa to Qafzeh Cave in what is now Israel 120,000 years ago.

What we do know is that burials have evolved and families around the world started to honor the dead in their individual ways. What may seem shocking to some, is comfort for another.

Ainu, Japan

The Ainu people, who were colonized by Japan in the 18th century, believe that a life force or ramat lives in everything–objects, plants, animals. While ramats would reincarnate life after life, human spirits remain the same after death.

Because of these beliefs a dying Ainu person would be dressed in white while lying as close to the hearth of Kamuy Fuchi , a passageway for souls to cross to the afterlife. Family members will place meaningful objects around the ailing person as offers to influence their property in death.

The funeral is a joyous celebration where people chant and tell stories. Family members will begin ripping, denting, snapping objects in order to release the ramat for the deceased, before carrying the body to an isolated burial site.

Ghana

A tourist might see a billboard for a funeral while walking the streets of Ghana.

Ghanaian funerals are known for vibrant commemorations among dozens, if not hundreds, of people gathering to send off the newly departed. The occasion, that is hardly ever somber, could last for days and cost up to $20,000.

The bereaved family hosts mourners who arrive in black and red traditional funeral clothing to eat, drink and dance. Like birthdays or weddings, funerals are known to be a social event to gather and celebrate. “Funeral tourism” has been a budding industry in Ghana for years.

Even the caskets share a bit of cheekiness as a symbol for the person’s life before dying. Someone who owns a Mercedes Benz may want a coffin shaped like the popular German-made vehicle. A local singer might be buried in a human-sized microphone. Or for those looking for a bit more spice, one could be buried in a red chili pepper.

Guizhou, China

Contemporary Chinese funerals have an emphasis on feng shui, offerings for the departed soul, eulogies and a funeral procession. Every April, Chinese families celebrate their passed loved ones at the Qingming Festival.

But traditions dating back in the Guizhou province in southwestern China pique more interest. Explorers have looked up and awed at the hanging coffins dotting the valleys of the Yangtze River for decades.

There’s no obvious reason why the coffins were hung dozens of meters high. The oldest are said to date back almost 3,000 years and experts are still stumped on how ancient people managed to transport the coffin, body and funeral objects to the cliff caves.

Haiti

Haitian funerals can often have a mix of Christian and Voodoo death rites like having both a priest and a croque-mort advising the bereaved family. A croque-mort, French for “dead-biter,” is a Voodoo undertaker who will provide the family with a list of items needed in the coffin to ensure a safe pathway to the afterworld.

Voodoo practitioners, nearly half of the Haitian population, believe the soul lingers for about a week after the biological death. A Voodoo priest or priestess, known as a Houngan or Mambo respectively, releases the soul into dark water for a year and a half, before another ritual called the “Rite of Reclamation.”

On this day the soul transferred into a clay jar called a govi to be broken in a ritualistic way, sending the soul into the afterworld with other ancestral spirits. It is believed the soul makes its way back to a family or friend.

India

The third most-practiced religion in the world, Hindiusim, believes that not only are spirits reincarnated back to the physical earth, but that eventually the soul will become one with Brahman , meaning the eternal and supreme “divine consciousness.”

While customs vary across the second-largest country in Asia, many practice similar Hindu funeral rituals known as antyesti. Cremation, or mukhagni , allows the physical body to return to one its original elements: earth, air, water, fire and space. Therefore Indian mourners believe cremating within 24 hours of death enables the soul to be released quickly to its next journey.

Before cremation, family or friends will prepare the body with essential oils to the head and a combination of yogurt, milk, ghee and honey everywhere else. The body is dressed with a white sheet over their hands tied in a prayer position and their big toes bound together. Burials are also an option for Indian families and often follow a similar process.

Flowers and rice balls are left near the open casket or urn for 12 days, as friends and family come to visit, pray and chant with the newly departed.

Indonesia

Troajan death rituals in Indonesia do not represent saying goodbye, but rather a continuation of the departed protecting their families.

Families will hold on to the body of the recently passed and preserve it in their homes for up to years as they save money for an extravagant death ceremony. The spirit will roam earth until the ceremony that will set them off to Puya , the land of the spirits. More elaborate funerals could last for almost two weeks and sacrifice dozens of Buffalo and pigs.

Every couple of years the bodies are exhumed by family and cleaned before donning a new outfit. This part of the ritual shows a sign of respect for the deceased as their spirit continues to protect the family.

Madagascar

In the central hills of Madagascar tribes gather to exhume their ancestors from the crypts and dress them in new silks and lightweight fabrics.

The ritual known as famadihana or “turning of the bones” is performed every five to seven years in order to silence the spirits who appear in a senior descendant’s dreams–complaining they are cold and need new clothes. This region in Madagascar believes that ancestors are the hinge between humans and God.

The families in Merina and northern Betsileo do not believe in heaven or hell, but rather the soul is reincarnated into a life that is similar to the living. The spirit is not released to the next life until their bones have completely decomposed.

When someone dies in one of these tribes they are wrapped in silks and put in a temporary tomb with gifts, food and alcohol before sunset in order to avoid the negative powers of nightfall. The first time the bones are removed from the tomb years later they are brought out feet first, but after they are rewrapped, they are led back into the crypto head first to symbolize a new life.

Mexico

Families in Mexico and parts of the United States, Philippines and Brazil gather on Nov. 2 to place photos, food, drinks and small gifts on home altars to celebrate their ancestors. Because of the growing popularity of the ritual in films, Mexico City now has an elaborate Dia de Muertos parade donning large floats and dancers with bright costumes.

Sagada, Philippines

When a member of a Igorot family dies they are laid in a coffin often carved by themselves. If they are too weak to carve out a log, their family member will help prepare the casket made of timber and paint it.

Before the deceased is laid in the coffin it is tied to a chair and smoked to delay rotting as loved ones come to visit the corpse. The body was wrapped in rattan leaves and eventually moved to a coffin, then carried by the family to the rocky cliffs of Sagada’s Echo Valley.

While hanging coffins is an ancient ritual going back more than 2,000 years in parts of China and Indonesia, the Filipino village is unique in that it still practices the tradition today.

Sicily, Italy

Sicilians follow Roman Catholic rituals when it comes to burying their dead, but each part of Italy commemorates differently.

When someone in a Sicilian village dies the funeral rites are expected within the next two days most. A room is prepared in the home to place the corpse for visitation, sometimes on a kitchen table if there is no other place for people to come and kiss the body. Doors are left ajar so the soul does not remain trapped.

During the burial, the body is put in a coffin and is traditionally carried to the town’s church as a procession follows. At the church a Catholic mass is performed and at the burial site the family is met with condolences from visitors.

A mass is held to commemorate the deceased one month and one year after their death.

Sweden

Decades before a Swede may die naturally they are already preparing for their death.

The practice dostadning tackles the fact that when humans die they leave behind a lot of material stuff. Death cleaning is started in a person’s 50s and begins to declutter items that are unessential in order to minimize their life before death.

The Swedes are known for being private people, so it’s not surprising that their ceremonies are small gatherings. Traditionally family members wore a white tie around their arms to signify their proximity to the dead and their grief.

‘It’s going to be fabulous,’ Putting Style Into Saying Goodbye

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 14:40:16 GMT

When Steven Wilson was diagnosed with terminal acute myeloid leukemia he was flooded with memories of his boyfriend’s funeral in 2014. He soured remembering the minister only knowing his partner’s name and nothing more, Wilson told the New York Times .

“The whole thing was just utterly impersonal,” Wilson said. The 47-year-old remembers hearing a medley of ‘November Rain’ playing the day of the funeral–the Guns N’ Roses ballad his boyfriend “never once” listened to.

Funeral homes are listening to customers' demands. When Wilson was walking near his home in Chiswick, UK, in 2020 he happened upon a blue storefront with the words “Exit Here” emblazoned above the entrance.

“What a brilliant name,” he thought to himself.

People walking by Exit Here could easily mistake it for a boutique gallery or even an ultramodern tattoo shop. Upon entering the morgue with velvet upholstery and curved archways, potential clientele are greeted by someone from the 12-person staff in a way one would usually only see at a hotel or high-end restaurant.

“It’s still a service industry,” Oliver Peyton, the founder of Exit Here, says. “We’re taking care of people at a very heightened emotional period in their lives.”

In another life Peyton was the founder of the posh Atlantic Bar & Grill in West London and served as a judge on the BBC show “Great British Menu.” But in 2010 when Peyton’s father died he became fascinated with the mortuary business. His experience led him to realize that people don’t have many choices when it comes to end-of-life services.

Through Peyton’s vision, Exit Here provides an array of caskets ranging from saturated, multi-colored Day of the Dead cardboard to containers with soft curves and pastel paintscapes. Some urns look like jewel-colored YETI water bottles or petrified wood vases. Peyton insists that the display is more than a show–his business provides personalized memorials, bereavement support groups and any detail the client might request, really.

Funeral directors should take note. Clients have been increasingly insisting on customizations for funerals, according to RokFinancial . The financing agency lays out the ways customers are looking for consumer preferences: more cremations, live virtual memorials and eco-conscious services.

“Gone are the days of one-size-fits-all funeral services,” the report reads. “[Consumers want] custom urns to eco-friendly burial options, businesses are adapting to meet the evolving demands of a discerning clientele.”

Exit Here doesn’t stand alone. Places such as Sparrow in New York, Poppy’s in London and Altima in Spain are dedicated to providing modern–dare we say fun–services for those who may be going through the darkest time of their lives.

Sparrow, located in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, was described by its owner Erica Hill as being similar to a Sweetgreen of Soulcycle. “They repackage something, rebrand it and make it look cool,” she said. “What we’re doing is in the same realm.”

Thanks to Exit Here, Wilson says his own funeral will be “fabulous.” He describes friends and family meeting in his hometown in Scotland to lay his body to rest in a coffin with a rainbow flag draped over it. Memory books broken up into eras of Wilson’s life will be handed out. It’s “very Taylor Swift,” he explains. Wilson’s favorite musical scores playing “Bring Me Home” from “Les Miserables” and “Tomorrow” from “Annie” will play.

“It sounds strange, but I want people to enjoy it.”

Is cremation part of your end-of-life plans?

pearl@memorialfuneralhome.com (Pearl Marvell) — Fri, 06 Sep 2024 15:22:38 GMT

There are a few things that you need to know...

Cremation has become an increasingly popular end-of-life decision that offers a range of benefits that resonate with many families. While burials have long been the more traditional practice here in the U.S., cremations often offer a more practical opportunity to celebrate a loved one and keep them close to our hearts, whether that is by scattering ashes of our loved one in their favorite place or keeping them in a beautiful urn in our home.

But there are a few things that many people are not aware of when it comes to cremation.

First, there is a 24-hour waiting period in Rhode Island (48 hours in Mass) from the time of death until the cremation can take place. The deceased must also be cremated in a suitable cremation container and lastly (but probably most importantly) a cremation authorization form must be signed by the individuals legally authorized to make the cremation arrangements.

Who is legally authorized?

Memorial Funeral Home’s Office Manager, Lisa Alves, along with our funeral directors, helps families navigate the paperwork that comes with a death. She said that in her decades of working for MFH, she has seen repeatedly that families don’t understand who is legally authorized to make these arrangements.

“If there are five children, and the parent that died is unmarried, all five children have to sign off on the cremation.” She said. Even if the deceased has a partner, if they are not married, only the children have authority to sign.

And what if the children are underaged? “Then the mother of each child has to sign for the child.” She said. “It gets tricky. People don’t realize that.”

If there are no children and no spouse, authorization will have to come from the parents or the siblings of the deceased if they are alive. Should it come down to the siblings, everyone must agree to sign off.

If a relative does not want to make the decision, they can relinquish their rights to next-of-kin through a notarized and signed document.

Should there be no family that come forward after the death of an individual, Alves will contact the Department of Human Services who will then try and find any relatives, as well as follow state procedures for this special circumstance. Should no one come forward, there will be a Court-appointed individual who will sign for the end-of-life proceedings.

How can you avoid this?

If you have decided that you want to be cremated and you don’t want your loved ones to have to make this decision for you, the funeral planning agent can designate someone to be responsible for these decisions, even if they are not related. This is especially important for those who have little or no family and are concerned that their wishes may not be honored. Call or email us to make an appointment, and we will guide you through the paperwork necessary to avoid this. The document will have to be notarized and will give you peace of mind that your loved ones will not be faced with such an important decision on your behalf.

Los distintos tipos de duelo

pearl@memorialfuneralhome.com (Pearl Marvell) — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 19:49:35 GMT

Hay varios tipos de duelo y no todos son iguales.

El duelo es una respuesta natural y emocional a la pérdida, ya sea de un ser querido, una relación, un trabajo, o cualquier cambio significativo en la vida. Aunque cada individuo experimenta el duelo de manera única, existen diferentes tipos reconocidos por psicólogos y expertos en salud mental.

Duelo Normal

El duelo normal, también conocido como duelo no complicado, es la respuesta emocional que se espera tras una pérdida significativa. Se caracteriza por sentimientos de tristeza, nostalgia, y, en algunos casos, alivio si la persona fallecida estaba sufriendo. Este tipo de duelo tiende a disminuir con el tiempo a medida que la persona se ajusta a la nueva realidad. Durante este proceso, es común experimentar una amplia gama de emociones y, eventualmente, encontrar formas de recordar y honrar al fallecido mientras se continúa con la vida cotidiana.

Duelo Anticipado

El duelo anticipado ocurre cuando la pérdida se prevé antes de que ocurra. Es común en situaciones donde una enfermedad terminal está presente. Los familiares y amigos comienzan a experimentar el duelo incluso antes de que la persona fallezca. Este tipo de duelo permite que las personas empiecen a aceptar la pérdida inminente y a ajustar sus emociones, aunque también puede traer sentimientos de culpa por lamentar la pérdida antes de que realmente suceda.

Duelo Complicado

El duelo complicado se produce cuando la persona no puede avanzar en su proceso de duelo de manera saludable. Puede manifestarse como una prolongación del dolor intenso, dificultades para aceptar la pérdida, o una incapacidad para retomar la vida cotidiana. Este tipo de duelo puede requerir intervención profesional, ya que puede estar asociado con otros trastornos de salud mental, como la depresión o el trastorno de estrés postraumático.

Duelo Desautorizado

El duelo desautorizado ocurre cuando la pérdida no es socialmente reconocida o validada. Esto puede suceder en situaciones como la muerte de una expareja, la pérdida de una mascota, o un aborto espontáneo. Las personas que experimentan este tipo de duelo pueden sentir que no tienen derecho a lamentar su pérdida, lo que puede dificultar el proceso de duelo y llevar a sentimientos de aislamiento y vergüenza.

Duelo Crónico

El duelo crónico se caracteriza por una prolongación del dolor y la tristeza que impide que la persona avance en su vida. A diferencia del duelo normal, que tiende a disminuir con el tiempo, el duelo crónico puede durar años sin una disminución significativa en la intensidad del dolor. Este tipo de duelo puede necesitar tratamiento profesional para ayudar a la persona a encontrar formas de manejar y superar su dolor.

Duelo Inhibido

El duelo inhibido ocurre cuando una persona suprime o evita sus sentimientos de duelo. Esto puede suceder por varias razones, como la presión social para ser "fuerte", responsabilidades que no permiten tiempo para el duelo, o miedo a enfrentar el dolor emocional. A largo plazo, el duelo inhibido puede manifestarse en problemas físicos o emocionales y, a menudo, requiere ayuda profesional para ser abordado adecuadamente.

Duelo Colectivo

El duelo colectivo es el duelo experimentado por una comunidad o grupo grande de personas, generalmente como resultado de una tragedia compartida, como desastres naturales, actos de terrorismo, o la muerte de una figura pública influyente. Este tipo de duelo puede ser más visible y recibir más apoyo social, lo que puede facilitar el proceso de duelo para los individuos afectados.

Lo más importante es comprender los diferentes tipos de duelo para proporcionar el apoyo adecuado a quienes están en proceso de duelo. Cada tipo de duelo tiene sus propias características y desafíos, y reconocer estas diferencias puede ayudar a normalizar las diversas formas en que las personas experimentan y expresan su dolor. En todos los casos, es importante recordar que el duelo es un proceso profundamente personal y no hay una manera "correcta" de lamentar una pérdida. Ofrecer empatía y apoyo puede ser de gran ayuda para aquellos que están navegando por este difícil proceso.

Aquí en Memorial Funeral Home, siempre estamos disponibles para ayudarles navegar la pérdida de un familiar o amado.

A tour of the new facilities at the MLK Community Center

pearl@memorialfuneralhome.com (Pearl Marvell) — Thu, 27 Jun 2024 17:18:11 GMT

The MLK Community Center has expanded their operations

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center ' s Community Programs Manager, Melanie Saunders gave some of the Memorial Funeral Home's staff a tour of MLK's new and improved space this week. "All we can say is wow! We are so lucky to have a community center like this one that helps so many people in our community," says Memorial's Director of Community Relations, Kim Shute.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center has 26 staff along with 700 plus volunteers who have already served over a million meals since this time last year. They offer a hot breakfasts Monday through Friday serving about 75 people every morning, and their mobile pantry serves households that are homebound on Aquidneck Island and beyond two days a week.

For families that come in to shop for themselves, the new and improved facilities are now open 5 days a week. You can find their hours here . Each household can come once monthly, and each visit usually feeds a family for about 2 weeks. "With the new center it is more like a grocery store." Says Kim. "They are getting more foods that people from Central America are looking for, and signage is in English and Spanish."

Besides the various food programs offer, the MLK Center also has a book buddy program, which is an inter-generational literacy program that pairs adult volunteers with MLK's preschool students to engage in reading and activity time. The program brings children and community friends of all ages together in an experience of social interaction, positive role models and engaging in literacy development.

In fact the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Center has various education programs , including summer camps.

Memorial's staff also learned that MLK's emergency warming center helped 112 people stay warm during the cold nights of January through mid-March.

"We are all now thinking about ways we can help support their programs." Says Kim. "The new space is simply beautiful, bright, clean and accessible to the community the needs them most. "

Meet Holly the comfort dog!

pearl@memorialfuneralhome.com (Pearl Marvell) — Fri, 12 Apr 2024 14:38:20 GMT

Not only is Holly a good girl, she is a busy one. Since joining the Portsmouth Police department, and riding alongside her handler Police Officer Westley Lemar, Holly has been busy attending lacrosse games, reading events at the Portsmouth Public Library, and providing joy and comfort to children at Portsmouth Middle School and beyond. Holly's training was entirely paid for by community donations (a big shout out to Clement's Market!) and her overall upkeep and any additional training will continue to be funded by donations. Needless to say, Holly has been a wonderful addition to the Aquidneck Island community, and has provided children with a way to destress and decompress, even when other forms of help haven't been as effective. Who doesn't want a little bit of puppy love!

How old is Holly now?

A little over a year and a half, she'll be two in July. She's still pretty young. When we get home, she's got more energy than all these kids combined!

You already have a dog at home. How is that interaction?

Oh, she's obsessed with him. He's going to be five next month, so he's not old, but he's getting a little up there. Yeah, but he'll he'll wrestle and stuff. Just something. She's a little much for him. Sometimes he'll be like, all right, enough. I'm going to take a nap. But, uh, she's just completely in love with him.

Did you know that she would be living with you?

I wasn't sure how this whole thing was going to go when I first pushed it. Yeah, I kind of figured that a dog would live with me. I just I didn't want to get a puppy because a lot of people around here had puppies, and I just didn't have the time or energy to train a puppy. As much as I love puppies, I just wasn't sure about that. I was pretty sure she was going to come home with me. I wasn't sure how he [his other dog] was going to take it.

They are very much like kids, you love them, but you also know when you have reached you limit of how many you can have.

Two is is my limit too [laughs], I'm good with that.

How did this whole process start?

This is my second year and sometime at the end of last year/ beginning of this year, we just had a casual conversation with the school [Portsmouth Middle School], talking about comfort dogs and what not, and kind of word made way to my department that I was talking about it. I got a call into someone's office and they said, "Hey, we know you're talking about it and the chief's all for it. He's with you if you want to do this." you can go.

I started kind of just googling and looking into different companies that do the trainings and what not. And when I went to a comfort dog symposium at Brown University, I found out about this organization, Puppies Behind Bars . They told me about it and how they get the puppies and they raise them in prisons and train them there. And when they're ready, I go to New York for two weeks, train with them, and I bring her back. And I thought that was absolutely perfect because, like I said, I just I didn't want a puppy, and it saved a lot of money with all donations. I actually planned on doing this next year. I thought I was gonna have the dog ready for next year, but I emailed Puppies Behind Bars and they said in November, "Yeah, we have a class in January." So things went super, super quick, but it's worked out so well. I mean, she's been huge impact on the school.

Is she going to go to all the different schools or just Portsmouth Middle School?

All the elementary schools too. I bounce around.

Can you walk me through a normal day with her?

So I come in around 7/730 am. A normal day is kind of tough because every day something different. Sometimes, I'll go into certain classrooms and because she was new, I introduce her, talk about her, show off a few of her commands. She's got like, 40 commands, so I do about 7 or 8 for the kids in the class. I let them pet her, and I'll do that in 6 or 7 classrooms a day. Other times I have the social workers send me a schedule of certain kids they think really need Holly for the day, for therapy session. Today, one of the kids who earned points for one of our clubs gets to sit with her and play fetch with her. Two weeks ago, I was at one of the schools and Holly and I read a book to one of the kids. It really depends on who emails me first and gets to me is kind of how we schedule it.

I assume she must be in high demand

She's in very high demand here. I keep telling myself I have to get a planner for her so that I can remember everything. It's unbelievable that just when people see her, their faces just light up.

That's awesome. I mean, for you, it must be really interesting going into these schools and just kind of getting that interaction with her and the kids. That must bring you a lot of joy on a daily basis.

I'm a huge dog person, so that was incredible, and yeah, whenever I walk in in the morning, it's every staff member. They just light up, and come and pet Holly. And then the kids come in and do the same thing. It's just huge. The principal was telling me that it's a huge game changer just to have a dog in the school. Even the police station, whenever people see her, the morale just boosts when she's in the room.

The last question is what does she like to do during the off time like on the weekends and and after hours?

That's a good question and important question. So actually during school hours I give her between 20 and 30 minutes of fetch time outside. I take a long lunch so she can, you know, just be a dog. When we're at home, I actually live near a school in Westport. and there's a big field there. She likes to play fetch. We go to dog parks that she loves. When the weather gets warmer, she's a big swimmer, so I have to take her on some hikes around lakes. She loves the water.

You can follow Holly on Facebook here and follow her on Instagram @comfortdogholly! Donations can be made out to and/or dropped off to the Portsmouth Police Department.

There is no right way to grieve

kim@memorialfuneralhome.com (Kim Shute) — Mon, 01 Apr 2024 11:41:31 GMT

Understanding different grieving styles

Have you ever noticed how people are so different in the ways they respond to loss after a death? First, there is no right way to grieve, we cannot say this enough, we will keep saying it until every person on earth is able to say it and live it. In 2006 two grief researchers, Ken Doka and Terry Martin put their focus on grieving styles. Up until that time there were some assumptions around grief and gender, the thinking before 2006 had been men grieve this way and women grieve another way. Doka and Martin rejected these claims.

Since then, the world of grief research has widely accepted their work. Grieving styles like many other ideas and experiences in life exist on a spectrum or a continuum. Imagine a line and on one side of the line there is one way of doing things and on the other side is the opposite way of doing things and in between the two are diverse ways of combining parts of that spectrum. We will show an image at the bottom of this article to help you visualize it a bit better.

Instrumental grieving and intuitive grieving

When we are talking about grieving styles one side of that spectrum is instrumental grieving and the other side is intuitive grieving. Think of instrumental as head grieving and intuitive as heart grieving. Before Doka and Martin did their research and produced their theory of grieving styles the way most people thought about grief (if they did at all) was women cry and men think or do something about grief.

Shorthand for these type grieving styles: intuitive is heart grieving and instrumental is more head grieving. Instrumental grieving is defined by the expression and experience of grief as physical or more thinking based, whereas intuitive grieving is often experienced and expressed by feelings. Instrumental grieving is often action-oriented, an example might be if there was a car accident which ended in a death, and a fence was damaged because of the crash, an instrumental griever might mend the fence as a way of dealing with the grief. Intuitive grieving is more focused on feeling and expressing the inward emotional experience of loss, joining a support group to listen and express one’s truth about the loss would be good fit for heart grievers. Men, women, and non-binary people can experience either type of grieving style. The truth is most people fall somewhere in the middle which is known as blended grieving.

There is no wrong way to grieve

There is one more type of grieving which is called dissonant grieving. A dissonant grieving style might happen when a person who grieves feels conflicted about head versus heart approaches to grief. If they receive feedback from friends, family, work, or society that they are not grieving correctly, a griever might feel torn or judged for the way they grieve. In our society there are all types of assumptions around grief and loss, and they do not help to serve people who grieve because please remember, THERE IS NO WRONG WAY TO GRIEVE! If a man needs to sob, heave, and wail over the loss of his child, please do not judge. If a woman needs to organize the estate and swap over the cable bill to her name and does it without tears after the death of her spouse, please do not judge. If a non-binary person does not cry after the death of a sibling, please do not judge. These are just a few examples of ways grief can surface and there are many more. The takeaway here is please do not judge, try to remain loving and accepting even if the person before you is not grieving like you would.

Years ago, before I knew about any of this grief research, my father was dying in the ICU in his early sixties. I was in my late twenties and VERY pregnant with my first and only biological child. I was there with a small group of my father’s family. My father was on life support because his wife was not ready to say goodbye. My father’s brain had sustained severe damage, and I knew my father did not want to be on life support. As I stood there trying to call on my braver angel to say this life support was against his wishes, one tear trickled down my face. My father’s brother saw the tear and yelled in my face, “there is no crying here!” I was shocked by his response to a quiet innocent and appropriate tear on the day my father was to die. This is an example of what could have been dissonant grieving style if I had let my uncle dictate my grieving.

On the other side of my life experience was after the death of my own husband in his late forties. My son and I had quite different grieving styles, I exhibited blended grieving with a slight leaning towards the heart/intuitive grieving. My son only cried a handful of times through his father’s dying and death. I was worried my son was not grieving right (didn’t we just learn there is no right way to grieve!?). My son had lots of stomachaches, headaches, and anxiety; it is likely he was an instrumental griever because his response was more based in his physical body. I offered him all kinds of support and eventually needed to let him find his own way through the terrain of grief.

It was hard and it was better for us not to fight about the right way to grieve (because there is NOT one, right?). Grief has universality to it since we all will be impacted by loss at some point during our time on this planet. It is important to recognize we are all unique individuals; we have unique ways of grieving and that is ok, and I might argue necessary.

Unless someone wants to harm themselves or someone else, chances are they are grieving exactly as they should for who they are and where they are in the experience of life. If you or anyone you know is struggling with thoughts of harming themselves or others, please contact the National crisis hotline at 988.

Our Memorial Funeral Home family is thinking of you as you adjust to life without your person’s physical presence. We hope this info on grieving styles is helpful for you or someone you care about. If you have any questions feel free to reach out to Kim Shute at kim@memorialfuneralhome.com.

The next thing in sustainable funeral burials might just use an ingredient you have in your refrigerator

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 16:08:00 GMT

The next thing in sustainable funeral burials might just use an ingredient you have in your refrigerator

Dutch startup, Loop Biotech , focuses on creating coffins and urns made from mushrooms as a way to “collaborate with nature to give humanity a positive footprint,” the startup’s founders Bob Hendrikx and Lonneke Westhoff say.

“We all have different cultures and different ways of wanting to be buried in the world. But I do think there’s a lot of us, a huge percentage of us, that would like it differently,” US investor Shawn Harris told the Associated Press . “And it’s been very old school the same way for 50 or 100 years.”

Loop Biotech achieves this collaboration between nature and humans by combining the root structure of mushrooms – mycelium – with hemp fiber. The material takes about seven days to grow and only 45 days to decompose, becoming sustenance for the soil and plants surrounding the products.

Right now, Loop Biotech make three items made from the mushroom-hemp hybrid: a “Living Cocoon” that is most like a traditional casket, a “ForestBed” which is an open-top casket covered in moss, and an urn for those choosing to be cremated.

One study published by Chemosphere in 2022 found that cemeteries can be potentially harmful to the environment and people living within proximity of them–especially in urban areas. Traditional coffins can emit heavy metals that potentially contaminate soil and water, the study found. Even people choosing to cremate their loved ones runs the risk of releasing pollutants like carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxides and sulfur dioxide during the process.

Hendrikx and Westhoff said they were first fascinated by the power of the mushroom when learning that fungi can take a dead, fallen tree and recreate food sources for other species. This got them thinking about how coffins can make humans into food for the environment. It was vital for them to create a product that left the environment in good hands.

But these products are also economical. While a traditional casket can cost mourning families on average $2,500, according to the National Funeral Directors Association’s 2021 report , Loop Biotech’s urns or coffins can range from $200 to $1000. That price tag makes choosing to embrace a greener goodbye that much easier.

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What is the secret to happiness? Connection.

Fri, 19 Jan 2024 15:35:00 GMT

What is the secret to happiness? Connection.

If we know money and fame can’t get us happiness, it leaves us wondering what is the secret? Harvard researchers asked themselves that same question during the Great Depression before conducting one of the world’s longest studies of health and happiness.

“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,” said Robert Waldinger, director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital and a professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School said in 2015 .

While taking care of one’s health is also important, it doesn’t replace the need for close, meaningful relationships, Robert argues.

“Tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That…is the revelation,” the professor said.

Starting in 1938, scientists part of the Harvard Study of Adult Development followed 268 male students (this was before women were allowed to study on campus) for the next 80 years of their lives.. The study later expanded to include the participants’ offspring, and in the 1970’s, 456 Boston inner-city residents were enlisted to participate, including some of their wives. In total, more than 1,300 participants were observed over the course of the decades-long study. Throughout the years, the study saw some individuals become successful businessmen, while others turned to addiction and suffered from mental health issues.

What they did find among the top “happiest” participants is that they were satisfied in their relationships, especially those in fulfilling marriages. This same group were also the ones that lived the longest across the board, while participants unmarried or in tumultuous relationships died sooner.

“Loneliness kills,” he said.

At first, researchers focused on genetics and physiology, but in 1966, a psychoanalyst joined the team by the name of George Valliant. He went on to lead the study from 1972 to 2004 and what he found was that relationships played a huge role in the lives of the participants. What Valliant and his fellow researchers found was that individuals who had healthy relationships, whether they were close friendships, deep-rooted connections with their community and/or a partner, that was the leading indicator of a healthier life, more so than cholesterol levels and other physiological factors.

Those with supportive relationships were less likely to drink or smoke in excess, became less depressed, and even experienced less mental deterioration as they got older.

“Good relationships don’t just protect our bodies; they protect our brains,” Robert says in his 2015 TED talk. This doesn’t mean that these relationships were perfect; researchers still found that couples fought like anyone else, but as long as they felt secure in their relationships, those arguments didn’t impact mental health like those in less secure relationships.

The study is still ongoing and is now looking into how childhood and chronic stress affect people’s lives. Even Robert has incorporated what the lessons learned in the study into his life:

“It’s easy to get isolated, to get caught up in work and not remembering, ‘Oh, I haven’t seen these friends in a long time,’ ” he said in a Harvard Gazette article about the study. “So I try to pay more attention to my relationships than I used to.”

We’re reminded to hold onto the ones we love and keep them close. It could just save your life.

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Anderson Cooper’s reflection on grief: Part 2

Wed, 10 Jan 2024 13:14:00 GMT

Another season on grief

Towards the end of 2023 “60 Minutes” and CNN journalist Anderson Cooper was interviewed on his experience with grief: do we move on from grief, or do we learn to live with it?

The first season of Anderson Cooper’s podcast, “All There Is” was released in 2022 and due to an overwhelming number of people reaching out, leaving him voicemails to share their stories of loss, he decided to produce a second season, which is now available wherever you get your podcasts.

“Grief when it comes, is nothing as we expect,” Anderson Cooper said, quoting Joan Didion during a feature on CBS Sunday Morning .

Anderson is no stranger to death. His mother died in 2019, his brother died by suicide at 21 years old in 1988 and his father passed in 1958 when Anderson was just 10 years old.“The last one who remembers our stories and the life we shared.” He said about himself in the first episode of the second season.

Despite being a journalist for nearly three decades reporting on all types of tragedies across the world, Anderson explains he spent much of his life trying to escape grief, but “never got very far.”

While finishing production of the first season of “All There Is,” Anderson felt overwhelmed by the 1000 plus voice messages he received from listeners and he also stopped going through his family’s things. But, after a bit of a break, he eventually did listen to all his listeners’ stories and decided that he needed to create another season, and he’s started, again, to go through his family’s personal memorabilia: photos, letters, journals, etc.

“Sifting through these boxes–these memories–can be overwhelming and I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with all of it.” He said in episode one.

Grief can be compounded when faced with these physical representations of our beloved family members: do we keep it all in a box hidden away or throw it in the garbage? Do any of our options feel right? These types of questions are what makes grief a bond between us all, yet we rarely use this universal experience as a way to connect with others around us.

“Instead we shroud our grief inside us.” Anderson said during the CBS interview. “But carrying grief in silence breeds loneliness, and with that loneliness can slowly steal the joy in our lives.” Anderson explained.

In the second season of “All There Is” Anderson talks to a variety of people who have experience different types of grief, including President Joe Biden about losing his wife, Neilia and 13-month-old daughter, Naomi. In episode 3, Anderson speaks to a woman named Katie who lost her daughter when she was 23 weeks pregnant.

Entering the new year, everyone should have the opportunity to no longer feel alone in their grief. Wherever you are, there are people who are grieving and support groups to help you feel less alone. If you are grieving and would like some help in finding support, please feel free to reach out to our Grief Educator, Kim Shute at Memorial Funeral Home.

The post Anderson Cooper’s Reflection on Grief: Moving Beyond Silence in the New Year appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Honoring veterans this Veterans Day and always

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 14:02:00 GMT

Honoring veterans this Veterans Day and always

November 11th, 2023 is Veterans Day, but at at Memorial Funeral Homes, we believe that the men and women who have served in the armed forces deserve to be honored to the highest degree possible always. To pay tribute to our fallen heroes, we offer comprehensive veterans’ service benefits, and personal guidance for family members navigating veterans’ benefits.

At Memorial Funeral Homes, we have two veterans who served our country. Robert Edenbach, otherwise known as “Bob” is co-owner of Memorial Funeral Home. He proudly served in the U.S. Navy as a lieutenant on the Destroyer, USS Forrest Royal from 1966-1968, and in the Naval Reserves from 1969-1974, serving on the U.S.S. Purdy and the U.S.S. Dash.

Sean Hackett is a funeral director and served our U.S. military in the air force. He is always happy to help veteran families.

In years past, we have helped bring The Moving Wall to Newport, Rhode Island, to honor those who sacrificed their lives in the Vietnam War. The Moving Wall is a replica of the Vietnam Memorial in Washington D.C. and was completed in 1982.

Should you have any questions about veterans’ benefits and end-of-life decisions, please feel to reach out to us. We are here for you.

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Grief During the Holidays

Thu, 09 Nov 2023 08:00:00 GMT

Grief During the Holidays

Holidays are a time where most of us prepare to gather with our families to celebrate. For many, it is a wonderful albeit stressful time of year, filled with family and traditions. For anyone who has lost someone, however, it can be a time of sadness and loneliness.

Those who have lost a loved one know that no matter how much time has passed, the holidays oftentimes spark waves of feelings of loss and pain. That is OK and those who are grieving deserve the respect and space to sit with those feelings.

The theory that there are stages of grief was largely debunked by many experts in the field of psychology. It is not a linear path: one day or moment you can be OK and the next moment or day, not so much.

Remember that it is OK to bow out of holiday gatherings. Be kind to yourself and listen to what feels right for you. If staying home and watching a movie that you and your loved one enjoyed watching together is what you want to do versus going to a holiday party, then do it.

Acknowledge that coming to terms with a loss is actual work

Coming to terms with losing someone doesn’t always get better with time. Most people say that their grief comes in waves, and very often, they don’t know when that wave will hit. As the International Grief Institute puts it, “the work of grief demands that you deal with all the feelings that loss engenders.” This can lead you to feeling depleted because this work takes both physical and emotional energy. Allow yourself to be human and not be a perfectionist during this time, as difficult as that might be.

Set limits

Many of us feel the need to do everything and be everything for everyone this time of year; don’t. You do not need to do all the cooking or buy all the presents or over commit yourself to gatherings. Tell you friends, family and most importantly, yourself that you are on a “stress reduction” plan. If they love you, they will understand.

Plan some alone time

So many people–even those who aren’t grieving– feel stressed by the pressure to spend time with family during the holidays. Everyone deserves the right to spend some time alone during this time to regroup. Some quiet time to yourself will help you no matter your circumstances. You are not selfish for taking that time. It is necessary.

Be kind to yourself

Always listen to yourself. You know what you need more than anyone else. However, isolating yourself completely is not going to be the best for your wellbeing either. If you’re not up to large gatherings, meet with loved ones and friends in a more intimate setting. Have a close friend over or go on a walk with them.

Celebrate life

Talking about your feelings and memories of your loved one can help. Don’t be afraid to share! Just by remembering your loved one, you are honoring them. There is no reason to feel guilty if you do feel moments of happiness during the holidays. You’re loved one would want that. You are not forgetting about your loss, but rather affirming that you value life and the life of your loved one. Something that they would want for you. As one article from the International Grief Institute put it, “survivorship means more than merely surviving; it means fully living.” That is one of the best ways to honor your loved one.

Honor old traditions, create new ones

If some holiday traditions are just too painful or too overwhelming. So, create new ones! Traditions or rituals are acts that we put meaning into. That meaning should make us feel good. If old traditions make you feel sad then do something entirely different. For example, volunteer or donate to your loved one’s favorite cause in their honor.

Looking for more advice?

Over the years, we have read and collected some insightful books on grief. Here are a couple of links to some reading that we think you will find helpful:

Former MFH Employee, Kim Shute, Publishes Book on Grief

Bethany Harvey: Author of “Dipped In It” Talks About Grief

Books on Grief

We are here to help

At Memorial Funeral Home, we are here for you if you need support. We have staff members who are very knowledgeable about grief and have been trained to offer help and resources.

Also, feel free to stop by the funeral home to pick up a free copy of “Grief and the Holidays” workbook.

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Help raise money for hospice care!

Wed, 06 Sep 2023 13:23:00 GMT

Help raise money for hospice care!

There will be a fundraising golf tournament at the Rhode Island Country Club in Barrington on Friday, September 11th. Registration and lunch starts at 11:30am and the tournament begins at 1pm. Money raised will support the Arthur S. Robbins Hope Fund, which was created to help patients receive hospice care regardless of their ability to pay.

There are sponsorship opportunities available, which you can find here .

For more than 40 years, HopeHealth has provided hospice, palliative, home care, dementia and grief support services with compassion and respect.

Medicare, Medicaid, and most private insurance companies will cover hospice costs, but sometimes individuals have to pay at least a portion out-of-pocket, which can add up quickly, especially if a loved on is in hospice care for weeks or months.

Hospice care can add up

Americans spent $4.3 trillion on health care in 2021. It’s estimated that 10% of that was spent on end-of-life care and hospice costs. Hospice care costs in Rhode Island average about $153 a day. Monthly expenses average about $4,590.

Understanding hospice costs and other end-of-life options can help ease stress, and can add quality-of -life to the final days, weeks and months of a loved one.

For more information on hospice care with HopeHealth, click here.

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The dog days of summer are here!

Tue, 18 Jul 2023 15:54:00 GMT

The dog days of summer are here!

It is hard to believe, but we are already in the dog days of summer! Don’t panic just yet, there is still plenty to do and see, especially on Aquidneck Island and just over the Mount Hope Bridge in Bristol. We put together a list of some things we think might interest you, so that you get the most out of the next couple of months.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Community Center

Whether you are looking to spiff up your cooking skills or your dance moves, The Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Community Center has a ton of scheduled activities. They have a cooking class called Sabores Latinos where you will learn how to make some great dishes and there is a Zumba class on Thursday afternoons at 5pm that will get you moving!

Green Animal Topiary Garden

Being outside during summer is what it is all about and one of the best places to be outside is Green Animals Topiary Garden in Portsmouth. Here you will find 80 topiary animals and figure that have been around for more than a century. The flowers here are incredible and bloom until October. The 7-acre property overlooks Narragansett Bay and has lovely, large trees to rest under. It is a perfect spot to picnic as well. Currently there is an art exhibition call “Sean Kenney’s Nature Connects” which features nature scenes and is made up entirely of LEGO® pieces.

Rail Explorers Rhode Island Division

Another great thing to do in Portsmouth is explore the old railway that used to bring passengers from Providence to Aquidneck Island. Instead of train cars, you ride on “explorers” which are basically four-wheeled bikes. There are several different tours that you can do, including an “early bird special” and a “lantern ride” that starts in the evening. Rail Explorers Rhode Island Division is worth checking out if you want to be active! You can also bring your own picnic and there are a few places where you can make a pit stop, depending on which tour you choose.

The Island Moving Company

The Island Moving Company (IMC) is a well-known name and non-profit on the island. Every summer, this contemporary trained ballet company hosts events and productions which are not to be missed. The Newport Dance Festival (NDF) brings choreographers, performers, and educators to Newport for a two-week residency that culminates in six unique, consecutive evenings of leading-edge dance performances for the community to enjoy.

IMC will also hold its annual summer gala at the end of July, where there will be a performance and auction to benefit the company. Tickets for IMC’s annual summer Gala and Newport Dance Festival are now on sale at the Island Moving Company’s website .

Blithewold Gardens

For anyone looking to unwind and slow down, outdoor yoga classes held by Bristol Yoga Studio are held at Blithewold Gardens in Bristol. More information can be found here.

For those interested in classical music, the iconic Newport Classical Music Festival returns from July 4 – 23 with twenty-seven summer concerts in the renowned Newport Mansions, including The Breakers , The Elms , and Chinese Tea House among others. Tickets can be purchased here .

The Black Ships Festival

In August there is the Black Ships Festival in Bristol, which celebrates the relationship between Newport and its sister city, Shimoda, Japan. The event offers a variety of events that highlight Japanese art and culture including a formal gala, Japanese artwork such as origami and ikebana. There will also be a Japanese tea ceremony.

We hope that you have a great rest of your summer and remember to stay cool and drink lots of water! It has been a hot one so far and looks like it will stay that way.

The post The dog days of summer are here! appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Memorial Funeral Home is powered by the sun!

Tue, 20 Jun 2023 18:25:00 GMT

Memorial Funeral Home is powered by the sun!

Did you know that Memorial Funeral Home has received a large portion of its power from the sun since 2019?

Since installing 75 solar panels, the funeral home has eliminated over 187,000 pounds of carbon dioxide (CO2) emissions. According to MFH’s Co-Owner and Funeral Director Kurt Edenbach, the building’s electricity bill has been halved and during the summer months, the electricity bill is often zero.

Doug Sebetti of Newport Solar headed up the installation process. Newport Solar is a family-owned and operated company that has been in the business for over a decade. They offer ground and roof-mounted panels, as well as high-performance battery systems and top-of-the-line EV chargers.

Solar panels produce stable electricity prices with the lowest per kilowatt per hour (kWh) price of any electricity source. Prices have also fallen drastically in the past decade and there are plenty of incentives on offer, especially with the recent passing of the Inflation Reduction Act. The implementation of the Inflation Reduction Act can reduce your federal tax liability by a total of 30% of their total solar installation costs. This tax break will remain in effect until 2032 and the legislation also includes a retroactive credit for anyone who installed solar in 2022.

According to Newport Solar’s website in 2020, Rhode Island residents paid National Grid about $0.21 per kWh while the average Newport Solar installation produced electricity at $0.07 per kWh.

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Saying Goodbye How You Want To

Fri, 12 May 2023 04:09:00 GMT

Saying Goodbye How You Want To

As society changes, so do people’s end-of-life wishes. Here at Memorial Funeral Home, we have seen that many people are shifting from bigger, more traditional funerals to smaller, more intimate and personalized gatherings.

Some people want “greener” funerals, which is to say, funerals that don’t involve any or a reduced amount of chemicals. Others opt for cremation and want their ashes scattered in a special place or a number of different places.

At Memorial Funeral Home, we try and keep up with the changing needs of our community. In our experience working with families and doing our own research, one thing that does seem to remain constant is the need for people to gather in a way that is meaningful to them.

The COVID-19 pandemic really brought into perspective our need for human contact; to gather to honor life’s big events. When we couldn’t, it affected us deeply.

Backed by evidence

In June, 2020 a study was published in the OMEGA – Journal of Death and Dying on how funeral practices impacted bereaved relatives’ mental health, and grieving process. It was a study that took into account both quantitative and qualitative evidence- so studies both data driven and descriptive in nature. The report reviewed 17 studies that had been done up to that point during the pandemic.

One of the discoveries of the study was “the benefit of after-death rituals including funerals depends on the ability of the bereaved to shape those rituals and say goodbye in a way that is meaningful to them.”

Pandemic or not, this is something that seems very much in line with what we experience at Memorial Funeral Home and with the families that we serve. We asked some of these family members on social media, “What makes for a meaningful goodbye?”

One person wrote, “gathering with people I love who share pieces of my history and life. Special little touches that make the experience unique not simply one-size-fits-all.”

Another put, “sharing the memories of a life well-lived and experiences we shall treasure.”

What is important is connection

Another correlation amongst the studies reviewed was that funeral attendance was associated with less unresolved grief. “It is not the number of attendees or even type of funeral which determines how supportive it is, but rather how meaningful the occasion is, and how connected it helps the mourners feel.”

The study also reported that funeral attendance didn’t have to be in the traditional sense of physically being at a funeral. Many people grieving the loss of a loved one found solace and closure in a number of “alternative” ways: live stream funerals, recorded services, “rolling funerals” or smaller services held at different time periods. Even sharing lists of songs, photos and stories, and reading out personal tributes about the person can help make people grieving feel like they are part of something bigger than their own grief.

What is important is being able to say goodbye

The conclusion of the study was that a sense of control when it came to saying goodbye was a “a key determinant.” That is to say, the ability to say goodbye to a loved one in a way that both honored them and the needs of the people grieving was what is most important.

Maintaining a connection

Finding ways of maintaining a connection with our lossed loved one is also important. It can also be part of your own funeral planning and can be a source of comfort knowing that a part of you will always be with family members. We recommend that you read this blog post about our Director of Community Relations, Kim Shute’s experience here . After losing her husband, she found many ways to honor him years after he was gone.

There are also Thumbies , which preserve the fingerprint of your loved one and can be worn as jewellery or kept as a keepsake. Parting Stones is a company that turns ashes into beautiful, smooth stones that can be placed in a fountain, or wherever as a reminder of the person that you have lost.

At Memorial Funeral Home, we are here to answer any questions you might have about end-of-life planning. We will make sure that you feel honored in your wishes and that your loved ones will have the space to grieve.

The post Saying Goodbye How You Want To appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Things to think about: Cremation and green funerals

Mon, 01 May 2023 12:45:00 GMT

Things to think about: Cremation and green funerals

Cremation and green funerals have been growing in popularity as more people seek alternative burial options that are eco-friendly and cost-effective. While these options may seem attractive, there are some disadvantages to consider. One of the most significant ones is that cremation and green funerals either do not provide a physical space to visit for those who are grieving, or the burial site is not easily accessible.

For many, visiting a grave site is part of the grieving process and can provide comfort and a sense of connection to the deceased. With cremation and green funerals, this can be more challenging.

In addition to the emotional impact, not having a specific grave site can also make it difficult for future generations to connect with their family’s history. Grave sites can serve as a physical reminder of a family’s lineage and provide a sense of continuity and tradition. Without a specific grave site, future generations may feel disconnected from their family’s past, making it challenging to pass down stories and traditions to future generations.

However, there are other ways to provide a connection with those that we have lost. There are innovative ways to keep your loved ones close, such as turning some of their ashes into a diamond. Read this blog post about our Director of Community Relations, Kim Shute’s experience here. There are also Thumbies , which preserve the fingerprint of your loved one and can be worn as jewellery or as a keepsake. Parting Stones is a company that turns ashes into beautiful, smooth stones that can be placed in a fountain, or wherever as a reminder of the person that you have lost.

As traditions evolve, cremations and green funerals will most likely become more and more popular. That being said, it is important to take into consideration some things like, where and how would you like to be memorialized and where and how your loved one’s can feel close to you.

The post Things to think about: Cremation and green funerals appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

What are green funerals?

Sat, 29 Apr 2023 14:35:00 GMT

What are green funerals?

As concerns for the environment continue to grow, more and more people are considering how their final arrangements impact the planet. Green funerals, also known as eco-funerals or natural burials, have become increasingly popular in the United States as a way to minimize the environmental impact of traditional funerals.

Green funerals are a type of funeral that focuses on minimizing the environmental impact of a person’s death. This means that the body is buried in a way that allows it to decompose naturally without the use of embalming chemicals or other products that can harm the environment. Typically, the body is placed in a biodegradable casket or shroud and buried in a designated green burial cemetery. This process allows the body to return to the earth in a way that is both respectful and sustainable.

How are green funerals different from traditional funerals?

Traditional funerals often involve embalming the body with chemicals to preserve it and placing it in a casket made of non-biodegradable materials. This process can be harmful to the environment.

In contrast, green funerals prioritize environmental sustainability and simplicity. The body is not embalmed, and a biodegradable casket or shroud is used. Instead of a traditional headstone, a tree or plant is often used to mark the grave, which can serve as a beautiful and living memorial to the person who has passed away.

What are the benefits of a green funeral?

Green funerals offer several benefits to both the environment and the bereaved. For the environment, green funerals help reduce the carbon footprint of traditional burials. Cremations emits a lot of carbon into the atmosphere, as does a traditional funeral through the making of the casket etc. According to the Green Burial Council , a traditional funeral emits around 250 pounds of carbon into the atmoshphere, which is roughly equivalent to a 300-mile trip in a car.

By avoiding the use of embalming chemicals and non-biodegradable materials, green funerals can help protect local ecosystems and reduce the amount of waste sent to landfills. Additionally, green burial cemeteries often prioritize conservation efforts, such as planting native trees and restoring natural habitats, which can have a positive impact on the surrounding environment.

For the bereaved, green funerals offer a way to honor the memory of their loved one in a way that is both respectful and sustainable. Many people find comfort in the idea that their loved one’s body will return to the earth in a way that supports the natural world. Additionally, the simplicity of green funerals can help reduce the financial burden of traditional funerals, which can be expensive and emotionally overwhelming.

Are there any drawbacks to green funerals?

A typical eco-friendly burial takes place in forested areas, ecotones (transitional areas between two types of vegetation, such as grasslands and forest) or in meadows. These areas are generally not easy to access and there are generally no gravestones. This can make it difficult for grieving families who want to visit a specific site on important days such as their loved one’s birthday. Some experts in grief believe this might impede the grieving process, but there are other ways to have a physical reminder of your loved one.

Are green funerals offered in Rhode Island?

The Ellipse at Swan Point Cemetery offers a third of an acre for green burials. Prudence Memorial Park on Prudence Island also offers a limited number of burial plots.

What is the future of green funerals?

Green funerals offer a sustainable and respectful way to say goodbye to a loved one. As the world continues to prioritize sustainability, it is likely that green funerals will become an increasingly popular choice for those looking to support the health of the planet.

As of right now, there aren’t many options for green funerals in Rhode Island, but there are other ways that you can “greenify” you or your loved ones funeral:

The post What are green funerals? appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

It is Never Too Late to Celebrate

Sat, 04 Mar 2023 20:25:00 GMT

It is Never Too Late to Celebrate

The COVID-19 pandemic turned all of our lives upside down. It especially did for those who lost loved ones during this time. As a funeral home, we were dealing with new restrictions almost on a daily basis during certain periods. This meant many families could not have the gatherings they wanted to honor their loved one.

“Just because you weren’t able to have the funeral or celebration of life then doesn’t mean you can’t do something now,” says Director of Community Outreach, Kim Shute.

And it doesn’t have to be just one.

Have as many services as you want

Kim has honored her husband in many ways since his passing over seven years ago. “Each one of those services brought me little gifts of stories I had never heard or people I had not met or just holding space with others who knew him.” She says about the gatherings she had in the first few months after her husband’s passing. “Each service was unique to the place or people for which it was created.”

Kim says that she often wonders, how she could honor her husband’s life in just 500 words of an obituary, or in the brief time of a funeral? “I also hear other families struggling with the same idea.” She says. “It took them years to live that life. How do we honor their personhood and the impact they had on this world?”

As far as Kim knows, there is no rule written that says we must stop honoring our loved ones after they pass. Kim says that she has never stopped, and won’t stop honoring her late husband. “We live in a time where we get to break the mold and make the rules. Now I am not saying you should do what I did, I am just saying the possibilities are endless.” She says.

On the one-year anniversary of her husband’s death, one of Kim’s friends cooked dinner for more than 50 people. “We showed a slideshow of his life, sang a few songs he loved, told stories, and ate cream asparagus soup (asparagus had a special significance for us, he thought it was a weed and I knew it was a delicacy).” She says.

Create the service(s) that you want

On the fifth anniversary she created another ceremony. She had a lovely headstone created from chess pieces (his favorite game) and a navy medallion for his time in the service made and buried him in the town where they were married.

Kim says that every detail and every moment celebrating her husband’s death was bittersweet, but necessary. “I tore his favorite shirt into strips and glued them on to glass votive holders and filled them with dirt so each friend or family member could place some dirt on his urn.” She hope that one day, those votives will hold little bouquets of flowers at her son’s wedding.

“I had some of his remains turned into a diamond which I wear in place of my wedding ring. I sometimes write to him on his Facebook page.” She says. In 2022, Kim published a keepsake-sized grief book to help others heal after loss called Hints for Grieflings . She just recently published another book of the same size called Griefsurfing .

“I have written blog posts about him, his life, and his death. Sometimes I raise a glass of his favorite beer on his birthday.” All of these things, she says, are ways both big and small by which she remembers and honors him.

“I believe it is never too late to honor someone. If you feel incomplete because your special someone died during the pandemic and you could not have the service you needed, you can still do it now.” She says.

We are here to support you

The most important thing is that you remember your loved one and honor them in ways that are important to you and them. If we can be of any help to you in doing this, please feel free to reach out at 401-846-0698.

We are always here for you.

The post It is Never Too Late to Celebrate appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Reverend Joe Tripp Retires!

Sat, 14 Jan 2023 16:48:00 GMT

Reverend Joe Tripp Retires!

For the past 22 years, Reverend Joe Tripp has served the United Congregational Church in Middletown, Rhode Island. Joe fostered an environment of acceptance for anyone and everyone that wanted to attend UCC, even during some pretty trying times, like the COVID-19 pandemic. Now, Joe has taken his leave and is enjoying a much-deserved retirement. Prior to leaving he was named Pastor Emeritus at UCC.

Joe grew up in the Mohawk Valley area of central New York State. He was raised on an old dairy farm and was the 5th generation to live in the family homestead. Joe says that he is still close to many of his schoolmates from that era. After high school he attended Hobart College in Geneva, New York. He majored in history with a minor in women’s studies, education and Native American studies.

Following college he attended Andover Newton Theological School in Massachusetts, now known at Andover Newton Seminary at Yale Divinity School . After three years, he graduated with a Master of Divinity (MDiv).

Since then, he has served churches in Falls Village, Connecticut and Fall River, Massachusetts. He came to the United Congregational Church of Middletown in 2000. “I have always had affection for this area as I started vacationing on Jamestown during my college days.” Joe says. “I happily accepted the call to serve the United Congregational Church as I was looking for a larger setting in which to conduct ministry after serving the church in Fall River.”

We asked Joe a couple of questions regarding his time at the United Congregational Church. He kindly agreed to answer them, even though he is currently traveling!

What would you say are some of your highlights (and even lowlights) from your 22 years at United Congregational Church?

The United Congregational Church has been a staple of protestant ministry on Aquidneck Island since its founding in 1695. I am one in a long line of pastors who have served the church. During my time here, I am most proud of our close affiliation with Temple Shalom and the late Rabbi Marc Jagolinzer, my cherished colleague and friend. Our collaboration set a special tone for both of our congregations. I am equally proud of our church’s continued missions outreach which has positively affected the lives of people both locally and globally. I was also pleased to be able to oversee the creation and renewal of many of the church’s physical assets which aided us in our ministry including the addition of a large parking lot that we are able to share with our neighbors at John Clarke Senior Living . Also, the creation of a Memorial Garden for the burial of cremated remains, the refurbishment of the interior of our building including increased handicap accessibility and a new kitchen. It was a privilege to serve such a vibrant and involved church for so many years!

2. What do you think makes Aquidneck Island a special place?

Aquidneck Island is unusual by the very nature of it being an island, The recurring joke that one needs a suitcase if one is leaving the island rings true for many who never feel the need to go elsewhere. There is a nice standard of living here for most, but at the same time there is the issue of homelessness and hunger as well. I have always enjoyed the history of the island and its natural beauty. I will always be drawn back here for vacations in the coming years to enjoy the offerings of the island.

3. Going forward what do you wish most for the congregation at UCC?

I am hope-filled for the congregation at UCC, Middletown. They are a vibrant congregation with many talented people. I am looking forward to watching them grow and shine in the coming years. As their Pastor Emeritus I look forward to reconnecting with them after a new settled pastor has been called following a search process which will take the next year or so. They are a special group and will always hold a special place in my heart.

What are you most looking forward to now that you are retired?

I am looking forward to some time to reflect on my life and ministry. I am also looking forward to spending quality time with my family of friends who I have collected since grade school! My time with them will no longer be limited because I have to return to church for Sunday worship! I also plan to continue to enjoy traveling the world as much as possible. It will be nice to be able to be spontaneous with invitations that come along and not have to worry about what day or time it is!

5. Going into 2023, what words of wisdom would you like to impart?

Most of all, I wish everyone a good 2023. It has been a challenging past few years with the pandemic and my prayer is that we have some time of stability without the worry of getting ill. The pandemic has taken its toll on us all and has shifted people’s priorities. Let’s hope we can all come back together and be stronger for all the challenges we have faced.

The United Congregational Church is looking for a new minister. Reverend Jonathan Morgan will serve as the interim minister starting February 1st.

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After the Funeral

Tue, 03 Jan 2023 16:33:00 GMT

After the Funeral

After the Funeral: A Practical Memoir for Administering Your Loved One’s Estate may not sound like a must read book, but we promise, it is not as macabre or dry as you might think.

Eileen Moynahan was an intelligence analyst before she pivoted her skill set to something different after losing her parents in a car accident in 2012. Now, she is an estate organizer, private investigator and author. After the Funeral is a memoir of sorts, as well as a guide to how to get through the often tedious, and sometimes impossible task of organizing a deceased person’s (or persons in her case) estate.

You can buy her book online at all the major book sites including Amazon .

Why is her book important? Because pretty much every single person in this world will have to experience the death of a loved one. In a society where there are bank accounts, safety deposit boxes, mortgages and other forms of debt, it is important to make sure you know what you are doing.

Get an Estate Attorney

One of the biggest takeaways from the book is that you should hire an estate attorney, no matter how simple you believe the process will be. She found with her own experience that despite her parents having a clearly drawn out will, which named her executrix, she still needed additional legal authority to access bank accounts and safety deposit boxes, which the estate attorney helped issue.

What Moynahan does suggest is to do most of the work yourself because estate attorneys can be expensive. They can have rates as high as $400/hour. Of course, this is entirely dependent on you having the time and energy to go through this process, but Moynahan’s step-by-step guide does seem to provide an efficient way to take on this task.

Perhaps most importantly, Moynahan saw this process of organizing her parents’ estate as a way to become closer to her parents, and to help her through her grief.

At the end of the book, Moynahan summarizes the steps in a concise way, which is very helpful for anyone who doesn’t have time to read the book entirely (although it is a quick read).

Here are some of those suggestions:

Additional Information

For more information on making arrangements with a loved one ahead of time, check out our post here.

We also put together our own list of first steps here.

For anyone pondering the question of, “Should I have a will or not?” Read about our thoughts here.

The post After the Funeral appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Potter League’s Annual Meeting: A Presentation on Pet Loss

Mon, 02 Jan 2023 16:19:00 GMT

Potter League’s Annual Meeting: A Presentation on Pet Loss

The Potter League for Animals will host its annual year-end review at the Wyndham Newport Hotel on January 26th from 5:30pm to 7:30 pm. This year’s event will include a presentation by Dr. Michelle Kay Crossley, PhD, LMHC, NCC, an assistant professor at Rhode Island College. In 2022 Dr. Crossley co-authored a research paper called Overcoming the social stigma of losing a pet: Considerations for counseling professionals .

The research centers around the stigma associated with pet loss and the need for more social support for someone grieving a loss of a pet. Particularly, offering counselors perspectives on tools and techniques that can help someone grieving.

Dr. Crossley completed her doctoral studies at North Carolina State University in 2013. She is the vice-president of the Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement (APLB). Dr. Crossley began volunteering with the organization as the newsletter editor and became a board member in 2012. Since then, she has worked with the organization to revise their pet loss grief specialist training and began a professional support group for pet loss and veterinary professionals.

Originally from Rhode Island, Dr. Crossley moved back to Rhode Island in 2012 and began working in the mental health field. She became independently licensed in 2017 and began a small private practice in Pawtucket called “Michelle Crossley Counseling”. She also serves as the president of the Rhode Island Mental Health Counselors Association .

The event on January 26th is free to the public. It is encouraged you RSVP on the Potter League for Animals’ website, which you can do here. Light refreshments will be served and there will be a cash bar.

See you there!

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Providing Support to Someone Grieving

Thu, 15 Dec 2022 17:54:00 GMT

Providing Support to Someone Grieving

The holidays are a time of year steeped in tradition and joy. Or at least in theory.

This can magnify the loss of a loved one for many, which can make it a stressful time for all. When a loved one is grieving, it can be hard to figure out how you can best help them. How do you make sure that you are providing them with the support that they need? How do you make sure that you don’t say the wrong thing?

Your support matters

Just your support and a hug can mean the world to someone who is grieving. Don’t overthink it, just be there for them. Don’t be afraid to invite someone that is grieving to be part of the celebrations, but let them know that there is no pressure for them to attend.

Don’t deprive yourself

The holidays are a great time to recharge your batteries and enjoy yourself. Do not hold back in enjoying this time. If it makes it more comfortable, carve out time when you can celebrate and enjoy privately.

How you can help

Remember that you can’t fix someone’s sorrow. Grief is a process and it takes time and a lot of inner work. Also respect the choices of the individual when it comes to holiday celebrations. If they choose to be alone and it is safe for them to be alone, then let them. Grieving is exhausting, so give them the time to regain their energy.

Don’t avoid the person grieving

And don’t go to the other extreme and avoid them all together! Death and grief are part of our lives so we shouldn’t feel uncomfortable with it. Just treat the person with compassion, kindness and respect.

Take care of yourself

Remember to take care of your emotional and physical wellbeing too. Being around someone who is mourning can draw from your energy bank as well. Make sure to take some time yourself as well whenever needed.

Volunteer

Another helpful strategy is to ask the person grieving to volunteer in the community with you. Serving a higher purpose and feeling part of something bigger can be very healing.

Honor the person who is no longer here

Most importantly, find a way to honor the memory of the person lost. This can come in many forms like prepaying for the coffee of the person behind you in line at a coffee shop or donating money to a charitable cause that was close to the deceased person’s heart.

We are here to help

At Memorial Funeral Home, we are here for you if you need support. We have staff members who are very knowledgeable about grief and have been trained to offer help and resources.

Also, feel free to stop by the funeral home to pick up a free copy of “Grief and the Holidays” workbook.

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Listen to Anderson Cooper’s Podcast, “All There Is”

Wed, 26 Oct 2022 18:40:00 GMT

Anderson Cooper is an award-winning journalist who from afar, might seem to have everything: stellar career, two beautiful boys, money, adored by pretty much everyone. However, Anderson’s personal life has drastically been marked by loss. When Anderson was just ten years old, he lost his father. At 21 years of age he lost his 23-year-old brother to suicide. In 2014, he lost his childhood nanny who was like a mother to him. In 2019 he lost his actual mother.

This past year, he started to box up his mother’s things. He soon realized that mixed in with his mother’s stuff was his father and brother’s things as well. Anderson was struck all over again by grief for every single loved one that he lost.

In an effort to understand grief as well as to move forward with his life, Anderson decided to create a podcast, his first ever. In it, he details his experiences with grief, and to talk to others who have also lost loved ones. Anderson is raw and open with his grief.

As of publishing this article, there are seven episodes, one published every week. The insight of both Anderson and his guests will bring both comfort and catharsis to those listening.

One of the biggest themes that Anderson continues to touch upon is the feeling that you are alone in grief, when in fact, we will all feel the loss of a loved one, if we are “lucky” enough. That is to say, that we are lucky enough to live long enough to witness the passing of a loved one.

Guests include Television Host Steven Colbert, who lost his father and two brothers when he was just ten years old. Actor Molly Shannon speaks to Anderson in episode four. She lost her mother, sister and cousin in a car accident when she was a child.

Every episode speaks to a different type of loss. As many of you know, not all grief is the same. Episode five deals with anticipatory grief, which so many families go through when they slowly lose a loved one to Alzheimer’s and other progressive diseases.

Hospice and Palliative Care Physician, BJ Miller is interviewed by Anderson in episode three. BJ co-wrote a book called A Beginner’s Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death , which is a must-read for everyone, regardless of how far away death might feel. He speaks to Anderson about his life-changing accident when he was a sophomore in college where he ended up losing his legs and a part of one arm. He later lost his sister to suicide.

The great thing about the podcast is you don’t have to listen to the episodes in order. With every listen, there is an extra glimmer of insight that comes. We are sure that you will find this podcast just as powerful and insightful as we did.

You can find Anderson’s podcast here, iTunes, or wherever you get your podcasts.

The post Listen to Anderson Cooper’s Podcast, “All There Is” appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

The Potter League’s Annual Walk at Fort Adams on Oct. 16th!

Fri, 30 Sep 2022 14:08:00 GMT

The Potter League’s Annual Walk at Fort Adams on Oct. 16th!

The Potter League’s Heart & Sole Walk for Animals is on October 16 ^th at Fort Adams in Newport, RI! This walk is to raise money for the shelter and its valuable services. Registration for the event opens at 10am on Sunday. The scenic ¾ of a mile walk around Fort Adams will begin at noon.

Dogs are obviously welcome but if you don’t have one, that is OK too!

The Potter League helps thousands of animals each year, not only in providing them with a second chance at finding their forever home, but the nonprofit also runs educational and other community programs on Aquidneck Island. They also run the Pets In Need Veterinary Clinic in Riverside. This clinic provides much needed affordable pet healthcare to families who need financial assistance.

The Heart & Sole Walk for Animals is a beloved tradition, and in addition to raising essential funds to support their life-saving work, it’s an opportunity for animal lovers to join together in creating a more humane Rhode Island for people & pets alike.

It is also not just a walk. There will be food trucks, an agility course, pet contests and activities for kids among other things. Registration for the event is free, but participants are encouraged to create an online fundraiser for the organization –whether as a team or as an individual. You can also just donate to the organization and skip the walk altogether!

There are also many other ways that you can help The Potter League for Animals. You can register to become a volunteer at the shelter and at the many events they host throughout the year. The organization is always looking for food donations as well.

And of course, you can always adopt!

The post The Potter League’s Annual Walk at Fort Adams on Oct. 16th! appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Is There Still Value in a Funeral Ceremony?

Fri, 02 Sep 2022 15:30:00 GMT

Is There Still Value in a Funeral Ceremony?

All cultures honor the passing of loved ones.

Honoring the passing of our loved ones has existed since the very beginning of our history. There is even evidence that Neanderthals performed some ritual of goodbye as well.

The way we honor those who have passed is as varied as the plethora of cultures that exist. In the past few decades, with more and more people identifying as not religious, there have been more and more questioning of what do we really need in order honor those who have moved on? Do we need a sometimes costly, traditional funeral service and ceremony, or would something more intimate and personalized be more apt?

We can assure you that the two are not mutually exclusive; Traditional services can be intimate and personal and they do not need to be costly, especially if you plan in advance. However, we also know that the needs of our community change with time, and so should the services that we offer.

One thing that will not change for us is that we do know there is great value in having a service to say goodbye. Studies have proven that having a gathering for a loved one helps those grieving to move forward with their lives.

What COVID-19 has taught us.

One thing we all certainly learned during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic was the importance of coming together and what it does for our psyche. When a loved one dies, this is especially needed. Being together brings comfort and healing in times of need.

Outside of the immediate family, a gathering can be beneficial for more distant relatives and other members of the community who might not feel permission to have the space to grieve had there not been a ceremony.

That is not to say that you need to make the goodbye a grand public event, but sometimes it can be amazing to hear from strangers how their lives were touched by your loved one and to hear stories that you might not have heard before.

There are so many options when it comes to have a “non-traditional” service. From spreading ashes out in Narragansett Bay to having a celebration of life at your loved one’s favorite spot. At Memorial Funeral Home, our staff are highly trained in making sure that a service can be as unique as the person it is for.

Ultimately, it is up to you as the family and, of course, the wishes of the deceased, on what to do. We are here to help guide you through this process, however simple or complex.

The post Is There Still Value in a Funeral Ceremony? appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Community Center Needs Your Help

Fri, 29 Jul 2022 16:39:00 GMT

Between inflation and the ongoing fallout of the COVID-19 pandemic, times are tough. Gas prices are high and so are the prices of the most basic necessities.

The Martin Luther King, Jr. Community Center has always been a vital source of resources for anyone that is struggling in the Aquidneck Island community and beyond. This organization is especially important right now. “As I’m typing, the MLK’s lobby is filled with people and we have more queuing outside, all waiting to use the food pantry.” Says Director of Development for the MLK Center, Alyson Novick in an email. “The price of food has skyrocketed and our pantry shelves are pretty bare.” She continues.

Thanks to some generous friends of the center, the organization currently has a matching campaign in place where every dollar and every pound of donated food is matched.

Alyson is urging anyone who can to donate whatever they can to put meals on tables of people across our community. “Every can of food matters, every dollar matters.” She says.

And for anyone who finds themself in need of help, Alyson says that this is what the MLK Center is here for: to help.

“We understand everyone is feeling the pinch.” Alyson says. She urges anyone who is need of help to come to the MLK Center. “We can help. We treat everyone with dignity and respect.” She continues.

According to the MLK Center’s website, 654,076 meals were served in 2021. There were 1,172 grocery deliveries to homebound seniors and 11,476 hot breakfasts were served.

The MLK Center not only provides food services. It also offer educational programs for children and adults. From Spanish cooking classes to kids receiving books monthly from the Dolly Parton Imagination Library .

Centennial Celebration

The MLK is also celebrating being 100 years old this year! To celebrate, there will be a party on Thursday, September 8 ^th at Fort Adams Trust . The celebration is presented by BedJet and the Aramli Foundation . Thanks to them and other generous sponsors, the MLK is able to offer tiered ticket pricing for those who need it. Pay what you can: $100, $50 or $0 per ticket.

The event will feature food stations, the renowned World Premier Band , fire pits, lawn games and more!

This is a fun, casual-dress, 18+ party under the big tent on the North Lawn. It’s not a fundraiser.

The post Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Community Center Needs Your Help appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Healing Garden Coming Soon to Memorial Funeral Home

Wed, 29 Jun 2022 20:05:00 GMT

Healing Garden Coming Soon to Memorial Funeral Home

A garden with healing in mind

It is well known that nature helps heal. That is why we are constructing a garden on the north side of the Memorial Funeral Home building on Broadway.

Katie Adams is a registered landscape architect (RLA) and co-owner of KP Design LLC . She has worked in the landscape and floral industry for over two decades and was head gardener for the Newport Restoration Foundation for six years. MFH’s owner, Kurt Edenbach approached Katie about creating a garden on the funeral home grounds.

A labyrinth will be the main feature of the garden, which Katie says she was really excited about. “I love the idea of labyrinths as walking meditation,” Katie says. “Unlike a maze, you don’t get lost in them; there’s only one way in and one way out.” She continues.

The 20-foot diameter labyrinth in the lawn will provide a meditative area for families and friends. Low-profile stone borders will mark the lawn paths so that the area can also be used as an open lawn space for larger gatherings or even staff meetings.

In addition to the labyrinth, there will also be evergreen hedges that will provide privacy from the street. All the vegetation is low maintenance perennials so as to ensure the area always looks good. There will be a Japanese maple, dogwood, witch-hazel, oak leaf hydrangeas, limelight hydrangeas as well as rhododendrons, says Katie.

Katie wants to make sure that the vegetation is easily recognizable and hopes that it will bring comfort to anyone in the garden.

A gently curving path will connect the lawn labyrinth to the display area and the parking lot.

The garden is scheduled to be completed by this fall. “We hope that this garden offers a place of calm and comfort for anyone who is in need,” says Kurt.

The post Healing Garden Coming Soon to Memorial Funeral Home appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Q&A with Deacon Paul St. Laurent

Wed, 22 Jun 2022 18:05:00 GMT

Q&A with Deacon Paul St. Laurent

The post Q&A with Deacon Paul St. Laurent appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Deacon Paul St. Laurent is a familiar face at St. Anthony’s Catholic Church in Portsmouth, Rhode Island. For nearly a decade, he has accompanied many on their spiritual journey through life. Before the pandemic he would often visit patients at Newport Hospital. He recently received a doctorate in ministry from Fordham University in New York. We asked Deacon Paul to tell us a little bit more about his recent accomplishments, as well as what led him to a life of ministry.

1. Deacon Paul, where are you originally from?

I was born and raised in Fall River. I have a BA from Providence College and an MA from Boston University, both in mathematics. I left New England to take an engineering position with Hughes Aircraft Company in Fullerton, California, working on air defense, air traffic control, and information systems. A good portion of my career was spent as a program director in the field, in Europe and the Middle East. Along the way, I earned an Executive MBA from the Claremont Graduate School in California. My last position was director of engineering in Reston, Virginia.

2. How long have you been in Rhode Island?

After Hughes merged with Raytheon, I returned home be closer to family, settling in Portsmouth in January of 2007. I took a position as general manager of the North Tiverton Fire District, an independent water agency. It was during that time that the Diocese of Providence opened up the program for permanent deacons. To be a deacon is to answer an interior calling to serve the people of God in a ministry of the liturgy, of the word, and of charity as an icon of Christ. After four years of formation and a master’s degree in theological studies, I was ordained in February of 2013. I was assigned to St. Anthony Catholic Church. Until the start of the pandemic, I provided regular pastoral visits to patients at Newport Hospital. It is a great joy to accompany others on their spiritual journey through life, especially in their times of need.

3. What made you want to pursue a doctorate?

A doctorate in ministry at Fordham University in New York enhances my knowledge and capabilities in the area of practical theology, building on the foundation established during diaconate formation and acquired through experience. Practical theology takes practices that bear on faith as material for reflective activity. As with any occupation or vocation, things change over time and there is always something new to learn. I am a strong proponent of continuing education.

4. Can you explain a bit about the program and what you had to do? Was it in-person or online?

The Doctor of Ministry program at Fordham consists of 36 credits of learning in a combination of asynchronous on-line and intense on-campus courses. Typical classes included: Theology of Ministry, Contemporary Christian Spirituality, and Theology of Pastoral Counseling. The program requires the writing of a dissertation related to one’s area of ministry. The title and subject of my dissertation is “Homiletic Training in a Diocesan Program of Formation for Permanent Deacons: Making It the Best It Can Be”. Over the past two decades, study after study has shown that there is a need for improvement in homilies, both content and delivery. My findings have been shared with the Diocese of Providence and several other dioceses and seminaries across the country.

5. What insight did you gain from the program?

Ministering is not limited to the physical boundaries of a parish. Jesus the Christ was less active in the synagogue than he was outside of it. His mission and ministry were very much focused on inclusion rather than exclusion, especially toward the marginalized. One specific area of insight is death, dying, and bereavement. The grief work process has direct applicability to ministering at wake services, funerals, and committals.

6. How do you hope to implement what you learned in the program into your vocation and work in the community?

My new learning opens the door to new opportunities to serve more people, in more places, and in different situations, and to serve them better. It also means my living the faith beyond Sunday and weekday liturgies, baptisms, weddings, and funerals. My hope is that it helps me live my vocation to the fullest extent possible.

Grieving the Loss of a Pet

Wed, 25 May 2022 17:42:00 GMT

Grieving the Loss of a Pet

Losing a pet is not easy and it is important to give yourself the time and space to grieve. Our pets are a huge part of our lives. Sometimes they are our only household companions, which makes losing them even more difficult. They may not be human, but it is important to allow yourself to grieve in the way that you need to. Don’t let anyone tell you differently!

One way which may help you cope with this loss is to talk to others who have lost pets. At the Potter League for Animals in Middletown , there is a pet loss support group, which meets monthly. It is one of the oldest and longest running groups of its kind in the northeast. Participants are welcome to attend on a as needed basis and there is no fee to attend.

The facilitator of the group is Lori Verderosa, MA, LCDP. She is a psychotherapist who specializes in issues of trauma and loss. Lori has decades of work experience in pet bereavement. For more information on the group, you can click here or call 401-846-8276.

“This group provides a safe, supportive and non-judgmental environment where one can share their grief with others who are experiencing a similar loss,” said Lori. “It provides a compassionate place where attendees can share their thoughts, feelings and experiences and meet others who understand what they’re going through,” she continued.

Just like when we lose a two-legged loved one, it is important to not bottle up your grief. It is important to talk about your feelings. If you feel uncomfortable doing this in a group setting, talk to a friend that you feel comfortable. Otherwise, find a licensed professional who can meet with you one-on-one.

Some people find it helpful to find new ways of enjoying life, such as picking up a new or long-lost hobby, or volunteering at the local shelter. Do not isolate yourself from the world as it will only make it worse.

As Lori says, “it is in mourning that one heals. The tears and talking can clarify aspects of grief and enhance the healing.”

For additional help on coping with the loss of a pet, you can always contact us at Memorial Funeral Home. One of our staff members will help you find the resources you need to get through this difficult time.

Conexión Latina Newport: Helping the Latinx and Hispanic Community

Tue, 03 May 2022 14:54:00 GMT

Conexión Latina Newport: Helping the Latinx and Hispanic Community

In 2019 four local women were frustrated in seeing the injustices and hardships faced by the Hispanic and Latinx community on Aquidneck Island. They decided to create Conexión Latina Newport, a non-profit with the mission of helping this community.

Over the years, many Hispanic and Latinx families have moved to the area. This is in part due to the ever expanding need for reliable labor in the many sectors of the hospitality industry.

Due to language barriers, the founders of Conexión Latina Newport noticed that some people were taking advantage of some members of the Latinx and Hispanic community. For example, some landlords were taking advantage of their tenants through price hiking and unusual living arrangements. They decided that something needed to be done.

Conexión Latina Newport does much more than just help with translation work and tenant advocacy. Throughout the pandemic, vaccination clinics were held at the organization’s site on Broadway. They also accept food and clothing donations, providing much needed assistance for individuals who might not qualify for government help.

Yolanda Macías and Rebekah Gomez are the primary faces that you will see if you walk in on any given day. You might also run into Marisa Portillo, the organization’s early childhood family navigator or Joyce Hunter, community health worker.

Yolanda has worked with the funeral directors of Memorial Funeral Home on several funeral services. She helped ensure the traditions and rituals of these families can be honored in their new home of Newport County.

Conexión Latina Newport welcomes clothing and food donations. Visit their website here or drop by the headquarters at 170 Broadway in Newport.

The post Conexión Latina Newport: Helping the Latinx and Hispanic Community appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Memorial Funeral Home Launches Grief Support Page

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 18:55:00 GMT

Memorial Funeral Home Launches Grief Support Page

During the pandemic, we had to shut down our grief support programs here at Memorial Funeral Home. Now, as we all try to obtain a new sense of normalcy, we are slowly reviving our programs. Our first step in this direction is launching a Facebook grief support group, which is open to anyone grieving. This page is not just for families who have used Memorial Funeral Home’s services, but all families and individuals that are grieving.

Funeral Directors Courtney Sullivan, Rachel Durbeck and Malek Slama will be moderating this page. They are also here for any questions you might have and are able to point you in the right direction for additional resources.

You can find the page on Facebook at @MFHGriefSupport or click here to be directed to the page.

The post Memorial Funeral Home Launches Grief Support Page appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Former MFH Employee, Kim Shute, Publishes Book on Grief

Wed, 30 Mar 2022 15:17:00 GMT

Former MFH Employee, Kim Shute, Publishes Book on Grief

Some of you might remember Kim Shute. She was our community relations manager and a person that many turned to when they needed support, especially during moments of heightened grief.

A year ago, Kim left Memorial Funeral Home to concentrate on other aspects of her life, including writing a book to help anyone through overwhelming moments of grief after losing someone.

Take a look at the videos below to learn more about Kim and why she wanted to write this book, as well as learn about the person behind the artwork, Victoria Gaisford.

The post Former MFH Employee, Kim Shute, Publishes Book on Grief appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Meet Leo Dube, Our Preplanning Expert

Tue, 01 Mar 2022 23:44:00 GMT

Meet Leo Dube, Our Preplanning Expert

Leo Dube is Memorial Funeral Home’s director of advance planning. This means he helps individuals plan ahead, ensuring that they lock in rates for the funeral that they want well in advance, saving their families money and stress in the future.

Leo is originally from Swansea, Massachusetts. He is a licensed funeral director with over thirty years of experience in the field. Leo’s focus on advance planning has given him a keen understanding of the needs a family has in this difficult time. If you would like to learn about what options you have, Leo can help you find the peace of mind in knowing that your wishes have been accurately documented.

Check out a video here of Leo explaining the benefits of planning in advance and to learn more about what Leo does. Also, feel free to reach out to Leo by email at leo@memorialfuneralhome.com .

The post Meet Leo Dube, Our Preplanning Expert appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Bethany Harvey: Author of “Dipped In It” Talks About Grief

Sun, 30 Jan 2022 18:07:00 GMT

Bethany Harvey: Author of “Dipped In It” Talks About Grief

Bethany Harvey always saw herself as a person with a sunny disposition. Then her father died in 2017.

To combat the grief of losing someone so important in her life, she decided that she would do a “gratitude journal” of sorts, writing something that she was grateful ever day during the months after her father’s death.

She quickly realized that just writing about things she was grateful for wasn’t telling the whole story. “We have this idea in our heads that people prefer people that are bright and shiny,” Harvey said, during a phone interview while she was at work (she runs a daycare in Portsmouth called “Bloom”).

“I felt so sick of myself because I thought I wasn’t a grateful person anymore,” She said. “I had all of these things that I should be grateful for and there I was feeling depressed and sad and grieving.” She continued.

Instead, Harvey decided that she would be truthful about how she felt: deep in the depths of grief, but also grateful for the love and support surrounding her.

“It was really just a process of allowing myself to feel the grief, feel the sadness and also understand that doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful.” She said.

Her daily writings that started 2 ½ months after her father’s death became the book Dipped In It , which has made her a very busy published author, mother, podcaster and business owner.

Harvey said that one of the most important lessons she learned after her father died is that we are allowed to grieve openly. Something society often shames us for. Especially in the age of social media, it seems like everyone is always happy. That we aren’t allowed to have days or moments of not being OK.

Dipped In It touches on all sorts of different types of loss, including divorce and postpartum depression. One of Harvey’s main missions with the book was to try and become OK with grief instead of trying to mask it.

“Grief is uncomfortable and I think right now is a time when I think everyone can relate to grief in some way because we’re all going through this collective grief of the world as we know it.” She said. “Whether we recognize it as that or not.” She continued.

For Harvey, it is important that people going through loss give themselves permission to embrace the emotions that come. Embrace the roller coaster of emotions that grief brings, so to speak.

You can feel that roller coaster in Harvey’s book. “One day I would be up and the next day I would crash.” She said.

“I think that is what is appealing to a lot of people about my book is that I actually wrote it during the year after my father’s passing and there is a story that I wrote pretty much every day for the entire year.” She continued.

I asked Harvey if there were any particular books or podcasts that help her with her grieving process. She said that it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that she started reading and listening about other people’s journeys about losing someone.

She found Joan Didion’s book The Year of Magical Thinking to be an incredible look into grief, especially when it comes to the loss of a partner.

For podcasts, Harvey enjoys listening to Everything Happens for Reason by Kate Bowler, an author and professor at Duke University who was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer at the age of 35. She also penned a New York Times bestselling memoir called Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I’ve Loved). “I just find her to be really inspiring,” Harvey said.

Another podcast that she enjoys is Grief Is My Side Hustle hosted by Meghan Riordan Jarvis, a psychotherapist and author.

For more information on Harvey and her book, you can buy her book online at most major bookstores, as well as our local bookstores here on Aquidneck Island.

For other books on grief recommended by the Memorial Funeral Home staff, check out our list here.

The post Bethany Harvey: Author of “Dipped In It” Talks About Grief appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Why Not Start Planning Ahead Now?

Wed, 26 Jan 2022 18:27:00 GMT

Why Not Start Planning Ahead Now?

The New Year is a time where many of us decide that we are going to improve our lives, whether it be eating healthier or exercising more. Another thing that we can do is start to make arrangements for what we want to happen to us and our earthly possessions when we die. We know, it is not something anyone looks forward to doing, but it is one of the biggest gifts that you can give yourself and your loved ones.

It is also a way to ensure that your family does not have to pay huge amounts of money out of pocket or be stuck in complicated legal hurdles that can take many months to resolve after someone’s death. If you make the decision to plan ahead, one of our funeral directors and advance planning specialists will guide you through every step of the pre-planning process so that when the time comes, everything has been taken care of and you have the farewell that you want.

Also, by paying for your funeral needs now, you will ultimately save yourself and your loved ones money in the future.

Feel free to call us whenever to start the process. If you’re uncomfortable meeting in person, we can arrange a call or video chat. Our goal is to make the process as quick and as painless as possible, while also ensuring that all your desires are met so that when the time comes, you are honored in the way that you want.

Virtual Grief Counseling: Can it Help?

Mon, 03 Jan 2022 18:34:00 GMT

Virtual Grief Counseling: Can it Help?

The decision to seek out a therapist is hard enough, never mind adding to that a global pandemic that makes it unsafe to meet people in person. Due to COVID-19, many therapists will only see patients via virtual platforms, which isn’t always the ideal set up for individuals who feel more comfortable, or feel that they are receiving better treatment, in an in-person session.

However, it doesn’t seem like virtual therapy and other telehealth options are going away any time soon, especially as numbers of COVID-19 cases and variants continue to rise.

There are many benefits to telehealth that cannot be discredited. As technology continues to improve, there are more and more ways to interact with therapists and social workers. This makes it easier and cheaper to access these services.

Easier Access to Mental Health Resources

The most obvious advantage of telehealth is easier access. Not everyone lives in an area where there are therapists, much less a selection of professionals that specialize in grief counseling. Choosing the type of therapy and the individual that offers this service is a highly personal choice. Having options is important. Therapy is not a one-size-fits-all thing. With telehealth, you can see therapists that are not only nearby, but all over the world. Also, if you are physically incapable or have mobility issues, virtual counseling frees you from these restrictions.

Better Assessment

Interacting with a therapist or social worker via a video call allows the therapist to see you in your natural environment: your home. This should make you feel more comfortable and allow you to express yourself more freely both verbally and through body language. This gives the professional more reliable information about how you are feeling.

There are some cons here too: if you live with other people, it can be difficult to find a private area where you do feel comfortable expressing yourself. Your home may not be the place you feel most comfortable. If this is the case, try and find a space where you can do this safely outside your home. Driving to your favorite beach and calling in to your therapist from your parked car is one example of a safe setting.

More Cost-Effective and Time-Effective

Generally speaking, virtual therapy sessions are cheaper than in-person sessions. And with more and more people seeking virtual help, most insurance companies, medicare and medicaid cover (at least to some degree) this type of therapy. It also means that you save money on travel expenses and time as you do not have to commute.

At the end of the day you should choose whatever type of therapy works for you. For the technologically challenged, the idea of virtual therapy sessions may seem daunting, but it can really be as easy as a click of a button to access a professional who can help you in your grief journey.

At Memorial Funeral Home, we are always willing to offer you suggestions of professionals who offer this type of counseling. These are people and services that we know are highly recommended and trustworthy.

Please do not hesitate to ask one of our staff if you have any questions regarding virtual therapy and counseling.

The post Virtual Grief Counseling: Can it Help? appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Annual Showing of “Elf” a Success!

Tue, 16 Nov 2021 19:50:00 GMT

Annual Showing of “Elf” a Success!

Memorial Funeral Home’s annual showing of “Elf” at The Jane Pickens Theater in Newport, Rhode Island was a success with 125 people in attendance.

The showing took place at 1:30pm on December 12th and was to benefit the Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center . Instead of paying an admission fee, attendees were asked to bring canned or packaged food items to donate to the community center’s food pantry.

According to Alyson Novick, MLK’s director of development, 388 pounds of food were donated. “Given the limitation on seating, that’s a really, really great amount,” Novick said. “We’re super grateful.” She continued.

The Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center offers a daily breakfast program, food pantry and a monthly food delivery program as well as educational, community and holiday programs for those in need on Aquidneck Island and beyond.

Memorial Funeral Home has partnered with Jane Pickens Theater for several years to bring awareness to the mission of the MLK Jr. Community Center as well as encourage food donations to the pantry. In 2020, the annual showing of “Elf” was cancelled due to the COVID-19 pandemic.

Thankfully, this year the showing was allowed to proceed, although due to the recent increase in COVID-19 cases, there was a reduced capacity at the theater and a mask mandate in place in order to give viewers adequate protection. Despite the ongoing pandemic, it didn’t stop people from showing up.

For more information on the MLK Jr. Community Center or to learn how you can donate and/or volunteer your time, go to www.mlkccenter.org and be sure to read our article about Alyson Novick, the director of development at the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center.

The post Annual Showing of “Elf” a Success! appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Books on Grief

Wed, 10 Nov 2021 17:22:00 GMT

Books on Grief

Grief is a range of emotions that we all feel at some point in our lives. Yet, when we are going through grief, it can be one of the most isolating experiences. Luckily, there are many authors out there who have written and continue to write about their personal experiences with grief as well as about the journeys of others.

We selected a few books for you that we can personally recommend. Remember that you are not alone, whether you are grieving or helping someone that is grieving, there are groups and support systems around you to help.

Dipped In It by Bethany Harvey

Bethany Harvey always saw herself as a person with a sunny disposition. Then her father died in 2017. 2 1/2 months after his death, she tried to write a journal entry about something that she was grateful for, then realized that she wasn’t telling her truth. Instead, she decided to write a book about all the emotions that come when losing a loved one, which turned into Dipped In It. This book offers an incredible insight into one person’s personal journey through grief and the roller coaster of emotions that come in that journey. Harvey is a Rhode Islander and her book can be found at most local bookstores as well as at most major online bookstores. For more information about Harvey, check out her website here.

Hints for Grieflings by Kim Shute

Kim Shute is a first time author and former employee of Memorial Funeral Home. After losing her husband suddenly, Shute felt overwhelmed by grief. A few incredible friends helped her, but Shute often times felt very much alone in her grief. After working at the funeral home, she felt it was time to write a book that might help others in their journey with grief. Hints for Grieflings is a book that you can carry in your pocket and pull out when you need reassurance that you can get through moments of pain and sadness. To buy Hints for Grieflings and learn more about Shute, go to www.pocketgrief.com.

Option B by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant

Sheryl Sandberg is the author of Lean In and chief operating officer of Meta Platforms. Her husband, Dave Goldberg, CEO of SurveyMonkey at the time, died suddenly while on vacation in Mexico in 2015.

Option B is a book about that sudden loss, how she dealt with raising two children on her own and how she gained resilience through her process of grieving and being supported by others. The book is a collaboration between Sandberg and Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist and professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania. The book is not just about Sandberg’s personal journey through grieving her dead husband. It touches upon other people’s stories of losing someone, being diagnosed with incurable diseases, and finding meaning and hope when there doesn’t seem to be any.

Go to www.optionb.org to buy the book, explore stories about resilience and grief, or find an Option B support group to join to connect with others who are also grieving.

The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

Writer Joan Didion wrote The Year of Magical Thinking in response to the sudden death of her husband and illness of her daughter. In 2003, Didion’s daughter, Quintana became ill with what seemed like the flu at first, and then pneumonia. She was ultimately diagnosed with septic shock and was subsequently put into an induced coma and put on life support. Didion’s husband, John, died of a massive coronary as they were sitting down for dinner just a few days after their daughter was admitted to hospital.

This book is Didion’s attempt to make sense of the sudden events that occurred in her life and the end of a forty year partnership with her husband. The book was published in 2005 and by that point, Quintana had died from the complications of her illness, which she later wrote about in a book called Blue Nights.

For anyone living on Aquidneck Island, this book can be ordered at Island Books .

Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi

When Breath Becomes Air is a book by Paul Kalanithi, a thirty-seven-year-old neurosurgeon. On the verge of completing his training as a neurosurgeon, Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. The book chronicles Kalanithi’s transformation from a medical student possessed with the question of “What makes a virtuous and meaningful life?” into a neurosurgeon at Stanford working in the Department of Neurosurgery and a fellow at the Stanford Neurosciences Institute, to ultimately becoming a patient and new father confronting his own mortality. Paul Kalanithi died in March 2015, while working on this book.

This book can also be ordered at Island Books .

The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James & Russell Friedman

The Grief Recovery Handbook is an in-depth guide to grief and grieving. Most importantly, it debunks the myth that there are stages to grief. Authors John W. James and Russell Friedman have more than thirty years of experience working with people grieving. The latest edition of the book helps people not only coping with the loss of a loved one. It is also for anyone coping with feelings of loss that occur in divorce, losing a job and losing one’s health. If you aren’t sure you want or need to buy the book, you can download the shorter ebook here . Friedman and James also wrote a book to help children through loss called, When Children Grieve.

The post Books on Grief appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Memorial Funeral Home Raises Money for the Potter League.

Tue, 28 Sep 2021 16:35:00 GMT

Memorial Funeral Home Raises Money for the Potter League.

Memorial Funeral Home’s staff helped raise money for the Potter League for Animals on Sunday, October 24 th at Fort Adams in Newport, Rhode Island during the annual Heart & Sole walk.

Dog owners and their pets enjoyed pet contests including “Top Talent/Trick” and an egg race as well as other activities like face painting and collar toss starting at 10am. For anyone that was peckish, several food trucks were on site.

It was 32 ^nd annual walk, after last year’s walk was cancelled due to the pandemic.

According to the Potter League’s website, the “Heart & Sole Walk for Animals is our biggest fundraiser of the year, with proceeds helping to save the lives of thousands of animals in our community with programs such as foster care, spay/neuter, adoptions, animal rescue, affordable veterinary care and more.”

The funds raised by walkers is used to find homes for pets and provide much needed services to those who love them.

The post Memorial Funeral Home Raises Money for the Potter League. appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Should I have a Will? What is Probate? Why Should I Care?

Wed, 01 Sep 2021 21:12:00 GMT

Should I have a Will? What is Probate? Why Should I Care?

It is inevitable that at some point, our lives will end. When that happens, it is important that we leave behind clear instructions for what is to happen to our worldly possessions.

“It is an excellent idea, but so many people don’t do it,” says Ed Gurka, a funeral director at Memorial Funeral Home who has years of experience navigating families through the oftentimes confusing steps that follow the death of a loved one.

“Sit down, put pen to paper,” he says, otherwise, things can get very confusing, and sometimes hostile amongst family members after the passing of a loved one. According to Ed, it happens all too frequently, even amongst the most peaceful of families.

It is not as easy as you think.

Even if you do go through the process of hiring an attorney and creating a will, there will often times be more legal hurdles after your passing. Ensuring that you have left as many detailed instructions as possible will ensure that there are fewer difficulties for your loved on.

Choose someone you trust to delegate after you have passed.

If you don’t choose someone, the court will, so you might as well choose someone in advance that will take care of all bills and delegation of possessions for you. Not having someone clearly appointed for this can cause real conflict within a family. Taking care of this beforehand can help alleviate some of this, although some issues may still arise.

Do you own a property? Then you really should consider making these arrangements now.

A property that is owned solely by the deceased person will go through a process called probate. Jointly held properties will pass on to the other individual who is a co-owner. If the ownership document stipulates, the portion owned by the deceased will pass down to children or any other inheritor and this will happen without the need of the probate process.

However, if you own a property with someone else under a “tenancy in common” deed then you will have to go through the probate process.

These scenarios are also applicable to bank accounts and other assets, and generally require the death certificate of the deceased to be provided so that ownership of the account or assets can be transferred.

How about creating a trust?

You can also create a trust, which allows you to keep managing your assets while you are alive, and then transfers administrative powers or distributes the properties and assets upon your death. There are other estate planning strategies as well, but these generally require the assistance of lawyers and a financial planner.

Probate takes six months from start to finish.

For most other situations, probate will occur upon the death of the family member in question, and this process takes a lot longer than you might think.

“It takes six months from the time it [the case] gets opened to when it is closed,” says Ed. “It’s quite complicated,” he continued.

Probate is the legal process through which a will of someone who has passed away is verified. The only people who can fully explain who will or wont go through this process is a probate lawyer, however we wanted to lay out some of the basics here, according to Rhode Island state law:

Probate happens in the town or city where the person where the person resided.

In Rhode Island, probate occurs at the town or city level. If your grandmother passed away in Newport, Rhode Island, the documents would be submitted at the City of Newport’s Probate Court . The process begins when the named executor of the will (a person appointed to carry out the terms of the will or whomever you designated) files the will with the court, usually with the help of an attorney. It is then up to the judge at the probate court to give the executor of the will the legal authority to transfer ownership of the deceased properties to the beneficiaries named in the will.

Take Time to grieve; (Most) paperwork can wait.

Obviously, anyone losing a loved one isn’t immediately thinking about the legal repercussions of a loved one’s death, and that is OK. It is important to grieve fully, although Social Security will have to be notified within a month’s period of the passing.

Keep record of all receipts.

Upon the death of an individual, creditors also need to be notified, in order to make sure any outstanding debts are paid, and (unfortunately) all bills that the deceased person had, the person designated in charge will need to pay them. Ed recommends keeping evidence of all payments going out, that way you will be reimbursed by the estate once it. has made its way through the probate court. “Every time you spend a penny, get a receipt,” he says. It takes about six months before you will be reimbursed, so keep them on file in a way that you can easily access them.

Hire someone to help you prepare before the time comes.

Ultimately, if you have a property or properties, and can afford it, Ed recommends hiring a financial planner to give you and your loved ones peace of mind for when the times comes.

Contact the funeral home that you wish to take care of your funeral proceedings ahead of time. It will give you peace of mind that your final wishes are taken care of. A good funeral director will also be able to give you suggestions on lawyers to consult with, as well as give you and your loved ones a better idea of the over all process.

If you have any questions, feel free to give us a call at Memorial Funeral Home at 401 846 0698.

The post Should I have a Will? What is Probate? Why Should I Care? appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Meet Alyson Novick, Director of Development at the Dr. Martin Luther King Community Center.

Sat, 21 Aug 2021 13:51:00 GMT

Meet Alyson Novick, Director of Development at the Dr. Martin Luther King Community Center.

Most people living on Aquidneck Island know about the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center, or at least in part. After all, next year will mark its 100 year anniversary. Alyson Novick is the director of development of the organization, which is located on Broadway in Newport, Rhode Island, but serves as far away as Tiverton and Jamestown.

Novick is a true Aquidneck Islander. No one could dare call her a “carpet bagger” as people who are not from the island are so “lovingly” called.

“That is part of why I work here, because this community matters so much to me,” Novick says. “These people are my neighbors, my family, my friends.” She continued.

This will be her 11th year working at MLK. An organization that she joined at a point when there were doubts that it could continue financially.

Novick says that for many Newport isn’t an easy place to live. Despite all the glitz and glamor that is presented to the world, there is a whole other reality to life on Aquidneck Island. “Life for many people here is very hard. It doesn’t need to be that hard.” She says.

Novick says that she often asks people “What is the first thing you think about when you think about Newport?” They will often talk about arts, culture, beauty and mansions. She will then ask them “When you drive into Newport and look to the left, what do you see?”

The divide between rich and poor is real on the island and Novick worries about that gap on a daily basis, especially as it continues to widen. And COVID-19 only made it worse for many.

Novick says that bad stuff happening in our lives is inevitable, that’s why places like the MLK Center and Memorial Funeral Home exist. For people that seek out the help of the MLK Center, it is because they don’t have the family and financial resources needed to get through those bad times.

“There just isn’t a support system in many people’s lives,” she says. But none of this is possible without the support of those who have the means to contribute, whether volunteering (there are 700+ volunteers currently) or providing funding to the food, community and education programs that MLK offers. The non-profit receives relatively little funding on a municipal level, so it is quite literally a community effort to keep everything going. “We need people to support us,” she says.

And a lot of people did step up and help when the pandemic started. MLK stayed open throughout and was able to work with McGrath Clambakes , who, thanks to a PPP loan, were able to keep on staff who made food that MLK distributed to people in need.

When the food pantry couldn’t be open due to the pandemic, people could write down what they needed and the MLK volunteers would organize bags and deliver goods to nursing homes and houses, often to places hardest hit by COVID-19.

In 2020, the MLK Center served nearly 5,000 people, made over 1000 food deliveries, served nearly 11,000 breakfasts and provided more education scholarships than ever before.

MLK’s community programs provided cooking and wellness classes, distributed books from Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library program and 820 children received gifts through the nonprofit’s Santa’s Workshop event.

Novick says Memorial Funeral Home’s relationship with MLK, “predates our database, so before 2007.” For years now, Kurt Edenbach, co-owner of Memorial Funeral Home, has dressed up like Buddy from the movie “Elf” at the annual Jane Pickens showing of the movie. The event raises awareness for MLK, as well as brings in much needed food and money donations during the holiday time.

Unfortunately, due to the pandemic, the event was cancelled in 2020, but it is back on the books for this year and we know that Edenbach could not be more excited to reprise his role as Buddy. This year, the event will take place at Jane Pickens Film + Event Center on Washington Square in Newport on December 12th at 1:30pm.

“These connections are important,” say Novick. “We need that” She continued.

Novick says that the inter-connectedness of the Aquidneck Island community is what keeps it all going. In this case, the “island mentality” helps create a close community where people help each other.

Despite the issues facing the island, such as the lack of affordable housing, the ever-widening gap between rich and poor and climate change, Novick continues to have faith in the community and their ability to help, after all, if it wasn’t for the generosity of each and every individual, there would be no Dr. Martin Luther King Community Center.

Like she says, “people want to help, MLK will be the place that will help and that we will never stop.”

If you are interested in donating to MLK or volunteering, please go to www.mlkccenter.org .

The post Meet Alyson Novick, Director of Development at the Dr. Martin Luther King Community Center. appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Our Promise To You

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 15:25:00 GMT

Our Promise To You

In 1937, Kurt Edenbach’s grandfather created a mission statement of sorts for Memorial Funeral Home or his “steadfast purpose” as he called it. “To provide the means of paying the finest tribute to the memory of those who have gone on- without hardship to those who must remain and must live.”

Since then, we have done our best to embody these words all the while adapting and modernizing. The way we gather to say goodbye to someone has changed for many, but why we gather has not: it is something that we need in order to continue on with our lives and heal.

Since 1931, the Edenbach family has tried to provide families with guidance and support as they navigate the loss of a loved one. Over the years, we have had generations of families come through our doors to plan for the future, or to say goodbye to loved ones.

Today we have six funeral directors on staff, as well as experts in grief counseling, pre-planning, and celebrants who help plan meaningful gatherings. We have two locations on Aquidneck Island: one at 375 Broadway in Newport and another at 55 West Main Rd in Portsmouth, Rhode Island.

Our mission now is to support anyone and everyone in our community who seeks our guidance. Our goal is to help you plan ahead so that when the time comes, your loved ones do not have to make those hard decisions for you, as well as help those left behind to create a goodbye that honors to the full extent the memory of the person lost.

Our commitment to you and your family does not just stop after the funeral. We know that grieving the death of a loved one is a process that cannot be hurried. We are here to support you or your loved ones during this time through counseling, written materials, and classes.

Every single member of our staff considers what they do here at Memorial Funeral Home as a vocation, not just a job. No matter the time of day, someone will always be here to answer your call.

As Co-Owner and Funeral Director at Memorial Funeral Home, Kurt Edenbach says, “A funeral home is much more than just a building, we are a group of professionals with a personal commitment to you.”

The post Our Promise To You appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Memorial Funeral Home Sponsors Potter League Pet Transport

Wed, 28 Jul 2021 15:01:00 GMT

Memorial Funeral Home Sponsors Potter League Pet Transport

On the evening of June 2nd, 2021, five dogs and four kittens arrived at the Potter League for Animals after a long journey from El Paso, Texas. These animals were picked up at Morristown Airport in New Jersey, and then transported by van to 87 Oliphant Lane in Middletown, Rhode Island.

More than 350 animals were transported across the country, in a group effort organized by BISSELL Pet Foundation, Animal Rescue Corps, University of Florida’s Maddie Shelter Medicine Program, City of El Paso Animal Services and more. This is claimed to be the largest transport effort in BISSELL Pet Foundation history, and one of the largest medical evaluation, testing and transport events in history.

A total of 84 animals arrived in the New England area.

“There was a serious crisis for animals in Texas, and we are so thankful to Memorial Funeral Home for making it possible for us to help by finding animals new homes in Rhode Island.” Said Chief Executive Officer at Potter League.

“We’ve been long time supporters of the Potter League. Our furry family are especially important when we go through times of change, loss, or grief. By helping the Potter League, we are supporting the bonds of family.” Said Kurt Edenbach, co-owner of Memorial Funeral Home and funeral director.

The animals immediately entered a two-week quarantine period. Canine Distemper is prevalent in Texas, so the animals needed to be closely monitored, while anyone attending to them needed to wear full Personal Protective Equipment (PPE). Potter League’s Director of Marketing and Community Relations, Kara Montalbano said that the animals did okay during the quarantine period, although Kirby, a husky pup, was a little restless during the quarantine period.

“They ate all their meals out of puzzle toys which helped with mental stimulation,” she said. “The staff was able to spend time with them while they were cleaning and in their rooms (full PPE) and they loved the attention.” She continued.

Ironically, when the staff took Kirby out for the first time, they thought he was going to be bursting with excitement, but he was actually pretty fearful of everything. According to Montalbano, they will need to go slow with him and build up his confidence.

Potter League’s quarantine period is normally 5 days, however, the Potter League proceeded with 2 weeks because although, they tested negative to distemper, there were positive cases in Texas, so they had to be extra cautious. And it paid off. Everyone has tested negative and has been cleared.

However, these animals are not quite ready to find their forever home; Three animals still need to be neutered and Boyd, one of the dogs, still has a lot of skin issues. “We’ll most likely be moving him to a foster home for some time to help with medicated baths, etc.,” said Montalbano.

So when will they be ready to find new homes? ” Honestly, we got so many calls about them already,” Montalbano said. “I don’t think they’ll be here once they are made available. I believe once the 3 guys are neutered they’ll be ready the soonest.” She continued. Kirby, the husky, may need a little more time from a behavior standpoint, but anyone interested can give The Potter League a call or fill out an adoption questionnaire through the website.

For more information on the Potter League for Animals or any of the animals that they are helping, go to www.potterleague.org

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What are “Thumbies”?

Wed, 30 Jun 2021 20:57:00 GMT

What are “Thumbies”?

Our fingerprint is unique and what better way to honor a loved one then to carry their fingerprint with you always?

Thumbies is a company that allows you to do that. Ranging from rings to earring and bracelets, Thumbies® allows you to place the fingerprint of your loved on whatever style of jewellery you like.

Thumbies® has made it their standard practice to take a precise impression of the fingerprints of each person who is transferred into their care. They then send this one-of-a-kind imprint to the highly skilled and talented artisans and the dedicated staff make a 3D fire cast mold to ensure maximum detail.

Once the mold is complete, precious metals are then melted and injected into the mold at extremely high temperatures. After the mold has cooled, the print is then removed to be polished, cleaned and reviewed for accuracy. Families are also able to add an engraving to their keepsake. The sterling silver pieces are treated with a special chemical to prevent tarnish and enhance durability.

“What has allowed us to get to this point is our use of science. We capture all prints in a unique way and we cast in a way we were always told could not be done,” said Tom Dougherty, company founder.

“Luckily we have very skilled and dedicated employees who have become specialists in the process, and we take the time to continue to explore and learn new methods and techniques as well.” He continued.

And Thumbies® is not just for humans. Pets can be memorialized through their paw and/or their nose print on jewellery, lighters and pocket knives.

For more information on Thumbies® , please feel free to give us a call or visit their website.

What is the Medicaid Spend Down Process?

Mon, 14 Jun 2021 16:50:00 GMT

What is the Medicaid Spend Down Process?

Let’s be honest, planning for your final years isn’t something that anyone looks forward to. Yet, it is an inevitable part of life and planning for it will alleviate a lot of stress for you and your loved ones. One way to do this is to create an irrevocable trust that will allow you to set money aside for future funeral expenses.

What is medicaid and what is its relationship to Irrevocable trusts?

Most of us might have an idea of what medicaid is: a type of financial assistance for individuals and families that qualify. Rules vary state by state, but here in Rhode Island, there are three types of medicaid:

Institutional/ Nursing Home Medicaid, which has an income limit of $2,382/month in order to qualify.

Medicaid Waivers/ Home and Community-Based Services, which has an income limit of $2,382/month as well.

Regular Medicaid , which has an income limit of $1073/month.

Nursing homes cost on average between $7000 and $8000 a month, which can be extremely prohibitive for spouses or the child/children of the individual who needs to/would like to live in such a setting. Medicaid can be extremely helpful paying for this. While you might have an income over these limits, there are ways of “spending down” your money in order to qualify. One of these ways is creating an irrevocable trust.

What is an irrevocable trust?

Just like the name suggests, an irrevocable is a non-changeable trust connected to your funeral home of choice, although this can usually be changed to another funeral home if you desire. Other changes can be made after it is created, however, it can be very difficult to do so.

The money put in to an irrevocable trust can only be used to cover funeral expenses, and is not counted as an asset when it come to qualifying for medicaid. With an irrevocable trust, the cost of services is locked in and will not rise over time, so your family will not be hit with any unforeseen funeral expenses.

You can always connect with a Medicaid planner to help you see what you can do to qualify for medicaid. To find a medicaid planner, click here. For more information on Rhode Island Medicaid Eligibility, click here. You can also, contact us here at Memorial Funeral Homes if you have an questions about funeral planning, irrevocable trusts or the medicaid spend down process.

Want to start planning now? Click here to start the process.

Ever Wondered What It’s Like Being a Funeral Director During a Pandemic?

Fri, 04 Jun 2021 18:41:00 GMT

Ever Wondered What It’s Like Being a Funeral Director During a Pandemic?

“Once I saw the impact it was having on the different cities in Italy, I began to fully stress about what we might need to do to properly respond if that started happening here.” He says. ” We started getting information from our professional peers and leadership organizations, as well as from the Rhode Island Department of Health, which had an amazing channel of communication.” He continues.

For the funeral home, it was not just figuring out a way to keep staff safe, it was also trying to ensure the best safety precautions for families coming through the doors. “There was a lot of anxiety: would any preparation be enough? Can we handle it? ” Edenbach says.

“When the restrictions were first put in place the absolute worst part of this was telling families they couldn’t have the good bye that they normally would,” Says Courtney Sullivan, a funeral director at Memorial Funeral Home. Sullivan says she can’t say how many times she was asked why was it OK to go and be in the store with 100 people, but then people couldn’t gather to say goodbye to a loved one?

On top of the stress of telling people that they could only choose a few people to attend a ceremony in person, there was also the added stress that all the directors were split into teams to reduce the number of employees present at one time. “Everyone really pulled together to get everything done, but I always had that anxiety that something is going to be missed, that you’re going to disappoint a family that was already upset and going through enough.” Sullivan says.

To ensure that everyone could say goodbye to their loved ones, Edenbach decided to incorporate live streaming of funerals into the services offered.

“The idea of having a live webcast for a funeral has actually been around for a while, but the funeral directors who tried it early on shared that most families didn’t recognize the need, most everyone could hop in the car or on a plane and get where they needed to be.” He says.

Now, those options were all but off the table and streaming of a service became a more viable option.

“It was live, it was their family, they could hear and see each other, but you could tell the distance was still there.” Says Kurt. ” Several companies began sharing their techniques and technology, and we started assembling some equipment and training. We definitely had some hiccups and mistakes, but we also were able to help several families with successful live streams and video recordings.” He continues.

Live streaming did help alleviate some of the pain of not being able to be present at the final goodbye, but the comfort of a hug or a squeeze of the hand was still missing. However, there were other elements that the staff at Memorial Funeral Homes used to ease some of that pain.

“Gathering photos and creating a video tribute, or contributing to writing the eulogy or obituary, some activities that were done in person without too much conscious thought, that became cherished, shared activities where the memories and stories could be exchanged and documented,” Says Edenbach.

Sullivan says she has seen mixed emotions when it comes to families who waited for things to return to “normal” to have a service. While many people are relieved to be able to have a larger gathering for a loved one, “they do say it feels like this is happening to them all over again and it’s like opening an old wound,” She says. “They mention that they are glad to be able to honor their loved one the way they originally planned, but they feel that they are starting at square one in the grief department.” She continues.

Both Edenbach and Sullivan feel that live streaming and the more virtual elements of a goodbye will stay, but nothing can replace the need to gather in person.

“We are not alone in our current society in the act of sharing our grief,” Says Edenbach. “I believe that by sharing grief, it can be a lighter load, less foreign and less lonely when we can process and acknowledge the experience with others.” He continues.

Memorial Funeral Homes will continue to develop live streaming capabilities, but for now, MFH’s staff are happy that they can finally provide help and comfort in person again.

The post Ever Wondered What It’s Like Being a Funeral Director During a Pandemic? appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Meet Rachel Durbeck: A Funeral Director at Memorial Funeral Homes

Thu, 27 May 2021 19:41:00 GMT

Meet Rachel Durbeck: A Funeral Director at Memorial Funeral Homes

It is with much excitement that we would like to announce that Rachel Durbeck is now a fully-fledged funeral director! Rachel’s a 2019 graduate of the University of Rhode Island with a bachelor’s degree in biology.

Immediately upon graduation, Rachel joined our staff and enrolled at FINE Mortuary College, pursuing an associate degree in Mortuary Science to become a licensed funeral director and embalmer, which she has done successfully!

Rachel hopes to provide families with compassionate guidance while handling the logistics and grief that follow death. Raised in Massachusetts, she has found her new home and work family here on Aquidneck Island. In her free time, (which she doesn’t have much of because she loves her work so much) you can find her hanging out with her puppies.

We sat down with Rachel to ask her a few questions about what got her into this work.

How did you get into this field of work?

I was studying biology at the University of Rhode Island and I took an elective class in Thanatology, which is the the study of death, dying and bereavement. I took that course with Lark D’ Helen who I now work closely with here at Memorial Funeral Homes.

Before that class, I was a little lost and confused in college. I started to take this class in Thanatology and all of a sudden everything made sense. I ended up doing my minor in Thanatology. I found it captivating. I had originally wanted to be a physician’s assistant. I love science, and taking care of people is really important to me. This kind of work checks both those boxes. It just feels like what I am supposed to be doing. I forget that I even get paid.

What is the most rewarding part of your job?

At the end of the funeral, you see this feeling come over the family. They come to peace with what’s happening. You can just see it in their eyes and in their faces, how they look at each other. It’s this bitter-sweetness, but they understand and appreciate the life that was lived. It’s like the calm after the storm or the wave crashing and then there is calm sea. You know that they are understanding and accepting the passing of a loved one.

Part of your apprenticeship here at Memorial Funeral Homes was during the pandemic. Not being able to provide families the full opportunity to grieve the passing of loved one due to restrictions, how was that?

It was horrible. It made me feel guilty. I started my apprenticeship before COVID-19 and we were used to handling big funerals and big wakes and then all of a sudden it was just five people that were allowed to be in the room. We had to get really creative. As time went on, I gained a new appreciation for the smaller gatherings because they were so much more intimate. You could just really feel the love and the energy. It was interesting to see this so early in my career.

What is the hardest part of your job?

Heartbreak of any magnitude is awful. You can see when someone’s heart is broken. And time management: I feel guilty a lot of the time. I take care of the families first and foremost, but I have to take care of myself too. It’s hard taking that time for yourself.

How has your own experiences with loss shaped how you approach others that are grieving?

My mother’s father died when I was in 7 ^th grade and my first reflex was to take care of my mother. I have always been a caregiver. It was really natural to me. To be able to walk people through this journey was very dignifying to me. When my dad’s mom passed, I was his first call. My family has just always known that I will take care of them during difficult times and I think that shaped me to get into this profession.

Why do you think families choose to work with Memorial Funeral Homes?

I think families trust us. The Edenbach family has done such a beautiful job developing a good reputation. I am really honored to be working with them and really thankful that they trust me to work for them. I feel like everyone is welcome here and that people can hear and feel the honesty and sincerity in us when we interact with them.

The post Meet Rachel Durbeck: A Funeral Director at Memorial Funeral Homes appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

What are Celebrants?

Tue, 11 May 2021 17:45:00 GMT

What are Celebrants?

When a loved one passes, we want to honor them in the best way possible. A celebrant is someone who will work closely with you to ensure that every detail about your loved one’s goodbye is taken care of. A main part of our celebrant program is to create a celebration around the life of the person, making sure to capture their essence and highlight how they enriched the lives of those around them.

Our celebrant program is headed up by Rev. Dr. Lark d’Helen. She has been guiding the grief support and outreach programs of Memorial Funeral Homes for the last 7 years.

Our celebrants offer three basic celebrations of life, however, each one can be modified to fit the person being celebrated. Your loved one was special and his/her celebration of life must be just as special.

Religious

Several members of our team are qualified to lead religious ceremonies to honor your loved one. Our goal is to personalize the ceremony to ensure that the service fits your loved one’s religious beliefs, but also speaks to their personal history as well.

Spiritual

Some people are spiritual, but not necessarily religious. A lot of our celebrants hold these same beliefs. We can ensure that we honor the spiritual side of your loved one, while staying away from more traditional religious elements of a service.

Non-Religious

We recognize that many people within our community are not religious at all, yet still want to honor the memory of the person who is no longer here. Our celebrants can create beautiful ceremonies that focus on the person’s life, how they lived and what the meant to those around them.

Things to Consider

The celebrant you choose will work closely with one of our funeral directors here at Memorial Funeral Homes to ensure that everything is taken care of. Together, the celebrant and funeral director will ask you questions like:

Do you want a small gathering or a large one?

Where would you like to have the gathering?

It doesn’t have to be at a funeral home or a marked grave; it could be at your loved one’s favorite place to sit and think or where they used to watch the sunset.

The Details

Celebrants will go over all the details involved in the ceremony. No detail is too small.

Do you want a eulogist? Will there be someone (or several people) doing a reading during the ceremony?

Do you want live music?

Do you want to serve food?

The celebrant working with you will ensure that all these elements are taken care of, so that you can concentrate on your healing and family.

The post What are Celebrants? appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Coping with the Anniversary of a Loved One’s Death

Sat, 01 May 2021 20:56:00 GMT

Coping with the Anniversary of a Loved One’s Death

As the day that marks the loss of a loved one approaches, a sense of dread wells up in us. There is no avoiding it, but there are ways to alleviate the pain and sadness that comes with this particular day.  

Here at Memorial Funeral Homes, we have found some ways to help us and the ones we care about get through this difficult day: 

“One of the ways I take back my life from my husband’s death is to own it, to prepare for it every single time,” says Kim Shute, our former Community Relations Manager. “If I don’t the day can quickly turn into an abyss like no other.” 

Kim has to brace for the loss of her husband on the anniversary of his death, but it is also marks their wedding anniversary.  

For many, the days and weeks leading up to the day can be full of dread and anxiety. One way to try and reformat the way we look at the anniversary of a loved one’s death is to plan on doing something on the day to mark the passing of time. 

Have a Party

This might not be for everyone, but it is one way to gather those that are left behind to share their most loved memories of the person who is no longer with us. “The first year I, with the help of another family, threw a dinner for 55 people with a picture slideshow and live music,” says Kim.  “With the event being a year later, taking part was easier and more enjoyable to reminisce.”  

Kim was also sure to have a plan for the next day as well. She did garden work with a dear friend. She didn’t want the stark contrast of loneliness after a night of being surrounded by loved ones.  

Take Time to Reminisce

For those who think that a party will be overwhelming, taking the day to journal, or spend some time outdoors — anything outside the normal routine – can be a good idea. If you work, take the day off. Write about your memories together or write a letter to your loved one directly.  

If you don’t feel like writing, then maybe do something that they enjoyed doing, or listen to their favorite music. Or don’t do anything at all. You deserve to do exactly what you want to do on that day.  

Kim says, “I have written about him and to him. I have created art inspired by him. I have planted flowers for him. I have made his favorite foods and raised a glass to him both with friends and by myself.” 

Volunteer & Donate in Their Honor

Volunteering your time at a local food pantry or shelter can be very rewarding. Doing something good for the community in your loved one’s honor can help in the healing process. You are keeping their memory alive and doing good for others. Maybe donating to a cause that your loved one cared about is a better option for you. Either way, you are doing good for others as well as yourself.  

“Every one one of these actions has helped me heal and take my life back from his premature departure,” says Kim. 

For Aquidneck Island residents, the Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center is a great place to volunteer and make donations to. They help combat hunger, as well as provide health and educational opportunities.

Another option is the Women’s Resource Center , also located in Newport. This organization helps women who have been victims of domestic violence. They are always looking for donors to help them with their cause.

For recommendations of books on grief, please read our article here.

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Updated Covid Funeral Policies

Sun, 14 Mar 2021 18:21:00 GMT

Updated Covid Funeral Policies

Updated May 14, 2021

We recognize the seriousness of the Coronavirus (Covid-19) outbreak and are doing everything we can to keep the families we serve and our staff safe.

Our team is making every effort possible to keep our facilities clean and sanitized. Our staff is here to remind visitors about the necessary distancing practices.

We have been receiving regular updates from the RI Dept of Health and our professional experts to keep our guests safe.

We are continuing to provide families with wakes and visitations, funerals, and memorial services.

Visitations/Wakes : Calling hours and wake are permitted with a limit of 80% capacity indoors.

Starting May 28, the following additional flexibilities will be allowed for funeral homes:

Funerals, Memorials & Celebrations of Life:

Anyone who is sick or has symptoms of COVID-19, or a recent exposure, should not attend any group service .

-taken from the RIDOH statement to the RI Funeral Homes with minor modifications for readability.

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Turning Ashes to Stone

Wed, 10 Feb 2021 16:42:00 GMT

Turning Ashes to Stone

I am busily packing up my house, the only house I ever bought, with my now deceased husband. I am at the odds and ends portion of the move which do not neatly fit into boxes or bags. For many of the objects I wonder how I got these things, and do I really have to keep them? I hope you won’t judge me negatively when I tell you one of those remaining things is a simple wooden urn with my husband’s name, dates and two chess pieces carved into it in the closet on the ironing board under my clothes. It is lovely and I am ready to not look at it every day anymore. Hiding him away in a closet is not representative of the life he lived, so I feel guilty for not wanting to look at his box every single day.

My son (20 years old) and I are in a battle of wills over what to do his papa, he says, “he stays in the box!” I have this new idea that feels right to me. I want to turn his cremated remains (read ashes) into solidified remains, with the help of Parting Stone . I just love the idea of it. At their laboratory in New Mexico Parting Stone’s technology is able to turn a one-hundred-pound person’s remains into about 25 stones. Each person’s remains has a different color and texture. What appeals to me about the stones is I can touch and hold him. They are solid, clean, portable, and shareable. I think having him in a solid form may give a space for more healing and growth. Right now, it feels awkward to hold a rectangular wooden box but holding a soft edged round stone feels more like him, more comfortable. I could carry part of him in my pocket to give me strength in hard times or so he can be there at our son’s graduation from college or his wedding or his first performance in an opera or any number of events my husband will miss. I do not want to lose or forget him in a closet. I think these stones could help keep him in my heart and mind and that of my son. If my son would just trust me one more time to make a good choice for us and for him. Now to convince a strongly opinionated 20-year-old.

Lots of funeral homes have the option of cremated remains or solidified remains. Either can provide a meaningful goodbye experience. I will keep you posted if I get my wish. If it is your wish you can click here .

If you have additional questions please call Kurt Edenbach at 401-846-0698 .

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Celebration of Remembrance and Hope

Fri, 15 Jan 2021 17:55:00 GMT

Celebration of Remembrance and Hope

Please join us for an online tribute to those who have died over the last 12 months.

The online service will begin at 6:30pm on Friday, January 15, 2021 at link.memorial/hope and you can download a copy of the program and special words of encouragement curated by our Celebrant Leaders.

During the service, we will have members of our team available for support and conversation through facebook messaging .

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How Do You Get the Right Cremation Urn?

Mon, 28 Dec 2020 22:51:00 GMT

How Do You Get the Right Cremation Urn?

While most urns might look pretty much the same, more or less, that doesn’t mean that they are. The fact is that there are different urns for different purposes, so you’ll want to put some thought into getting the right one when you plan cremation services in Bristol, RI.

Here’s a look at a few questions you should ask yourself before you purchase a cremation urn.

What Price Am I Willing to Pay?

You will want to determine just how much you want to pay for an urn. If you don’t want to pay any more than is required, you’ll want to focus on a low-cost urn. You can check out the funeral home’s general price list to find out what their urns cost. This will help you to find exactly what you want – at a price you can afford.

What Will I Do with the Urn?

Will you bury the urn? Will you scatter the ashes? Do you want a biodegradable urn? Is the plan to keep the ashes at your home in an urn? These types of questions are important. The answers you provide will help guide you as you look for the right urn for the cremated remains. As any funeral director will tell you, there are different urns for different purposes. So once you’ve determined what you will do with the urn, you’ll be able to find something appropriate.

What Type of Material Do You Want?

Cremation urns are manufactured from different materials. Look through the funeral home’s price list so that you can see what materials are offered. You can select a material based on your budget or choose a material based on what the deceased would likely have desired.

Do You Want a Customized Urn?

You can get customized urns if you want something extra special. You can get an urn that is of a unique shape, you can get a special design, and you can get inscriptions. These extras will, of course, result in a higher price for the urn you want. But if you have the budget for a customized urn that will greatly honor a deceased loved one, going this route can be a great idea.

When you’re ready to plan a final service with a funeral home offering funeral services and cremation services in Bristol, RI, we’re here to assist. We have experience helping people from all walks of life to plan and to preplan body dispositions final services that honor the dead and that comfort the living. So you can count on our funeral directors to provide individualized funeral services designed to meet the needs of you and your family. We’ll take the time to explain the planning process, answer your questions, provide helpful recommendations, and much more. You can count on our dedicated professionals to help you make funeral service or cremation service arrangements. For the help you need, please give us a call to speak to one of our staff or stop by to talk to someone in person. We’re here to assist in any way we can!

The post How Do You Get the Right Cremation Urn? appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

3 Benefits of Holding a Funeral Service for a Deceased Family Member

Mon, 21 Dec 2020 22:45:00 GMT

3 Benefits of Holding a Funeral Service for a Deceased Family Member

Funeral services are common, but even though this is the case, not everyone truly appreciates the benefits of funeral services.

Read on to learn about three benefits for holding a funeral service for a deceased loved one.

Funerals provide a way to acknowledge a loss. It can be hard to accept that a relative has indeed died. But holding an event where the chief purpose is to honor the deceased is a good way to demonstrate that your family accepts that a loved one is no longer here with us. The funeral will also provide a way for friends of the deceased to acknowledge the death.

Another reason why funeral service is so important is that they provide the opportunity for people to receive support from others and to give support to others. Everyone in attendance will be going through something similar. It’s true that no two people mourn the same way. But people who are hurting over the same situation can empathize with one another and comfort one another in a way that is beneficial to everyone at the funeral service. So, you don’t want to skip a funeral service since you will, by so doing, miss out on an important benefit.

Funeral services provide the opportunity for people to think about life and death. In other words, the event offers the chance for individuals to take stock of their own lives, to feel grateful for the blessing of life, and even to realize how soon life can come to an end. When the event is over and everyone goes back to their respective homes, each person should feel empowered to live the rest of their lives to the fullest extent possible. Life can all too quickly come to an end, so being able to think about what life and death mean can be a helpful exercise.

When you’re ready to plan a funeral service or a cremation service with a funeral home in Bristol, RI, we’re here to assist. We have experience assisting people from all walks of life to plan and to preplan body dispositions final services that honor the dead and that comfort the living. So, you can count on our funeral directors to provide individualized funeral services designed to meet the needs of you and your family. We’ll take the time to explain the planning process, answer your questions, provide helpful recommendations, and much more. You can count on our dedicated professionals to help you make funeral service or cremation service arrangements. For the help you need, please give us a call to speak to one of our staff or stop by to talk to someone in person. We’re here to assist in any way we can!

The post 3 Benefits of Holding a Funeral Service for a Deceased Family Member appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

The Benefits of Planning a Cremation Service

Mon, 14 Dec 2020 22:35:00 GMT

The Benefits of Planning a Cremation Service

Do you need to plan a funeral or a cremation? Perhaps you’ve looked into cremation as a final service option and have discovered that cremation is more common than burial these days. While you can always get the answers, you need from a Tiverton, RI cremation services provider, you can also read on to learn about some of the benefits of planning cremation.

Cremation Less Expensive Than Burial

One of the main reasons why people plan cremations over funerals with casket burials is that the former is a lot less expensive than the latter. Check out the general price list available at any funeral home you go to. This document will show you everything the funeral home sells and the prices for these services. It won’t take long for you to see that a cremation is more cost-effective than a funeral. Of course, if you want a funeral service and casket burial, a funeral director will help you plan something that is affordable. But if you want the cheapest possible final disposition option available, cremation is something that you’ll want to consider.

More Rest Place Possibilities

If you plan a funeral service and a graveside service, the final resting place will be the cemetery where the body is buried. But there are multiple final resting place possibilities if you plan a cremation. You can bury the urn someplace — like in your backyard or in a cemetery’s urn garden — for instance. You can also scatter the ashes in a way that commemorates the deceased. For example, if they loved going camping, you might want to scatter the ashes in a rural area. If your family owns a piece of land out in the country, that could be the perfect option.

Portability Options

Yet another reason why cremations are so popular nowadays is that the body disposition option offers portability. In other words, you can take the cremated remains with you virtually wherever you go – if you so choose. You can move the urn from room to room in your residence, place it outdoors in different areas, carry some of the ashes to scatter in a foreign country, and more.

When you’re ready to plan a final service with a funeral home offering funeral services and cremation services in Tiverton, RI, we’re here to assist. We have experience helping people from all walks of life to plan and to preplan body dispositions final services that honor the dead and that comfort the living. So, you can count on us funeral directors to provide individualized funeral services designed to meet the needs of you and your family. We’ll take the time to explain the planning process, answer your questions, provide helpful recommendations, and much more. You can count on our dedicated professionals to help you make funeral service or cremation service arrangements. For the help you need, please give us a call to speak to one of our staff or stop by to talk to someone in person. We’re here to assist in any way we can!

The post The Benefits of Planning a Cremation Service appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Blog - Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home

Learning to Talk About Death and How We'll Be Remembered

May 14: New & Innovative burial options

Kim Shute's Review of Nothing to See Here

What is terramation and why should I care?

It's likely that you've never heard of it before, but it is the process of naturally breaking down the body into soil.

Kim Shute's Review of The Borrowed Life of Frederick Fife

A case of mistaken identity turns into a sense of security for an octogenarian.

Creative Ways to Honor Your Loved One's Ashes

Winter Proofing Your Independence

Asking for help with heavy snow today may be the very thing that keeps you independent longer tomorrow.

Kim Shute's Review of Eternity

A movie about figuring out who to spend eternity with.

Expanding End-of-Life Choices in Rhode Island: An Introduction to Water Cremation

As society evolves, so do the choices we make—especially when it comes to end-of-life care.

Kim Shute's Review of Song Sung Blue

Another review by our director of community relations.

Kim Shute's Review of This Time Tomorrow

Kim Shute's Review of Come See Me in the Good Light

Having the Talk of a Lifetime

Having The Talk of a Lifetime

A Review of The Mortician

Q&A with Julia Brough about Death Doulas

Julia co-founded End of Life Rhode Island , an organization with a mission to educate the public about the role of the end-of-life doula.

Kim's Review of The One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot

Kim's Review of Dying for Sex

Welcome Norma Figueroa to Memorial Funeral Home!

Newport Hospital to Open Adolescent Behavioral Health Unit to Address Growing Crisis

The needs of our families are changing, and so are we

Green burials

Biodegradable urns

How does aquamation work exactly?

Book Review of Eddie Winston is Looking for Love

Director of Community Relations Kim Shute shares with us her thoughts on the most recent book that she has read.

A Review of Sarah Silverman's PostMortem Show

Meet Sam Silvia

Wind Phone in Portsmouth Provides a Space to Grieve and Heal

My First Motherless Mothers’ Day

Political scientist Dr. Robert D. Putnam speaks about the state of American democracy

Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter

Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter

First Steps After Someone Dies

First Steps After Someone Dies

Then what?

Tell Friends and Family ﻿

Time for Funeral Arrangements

Copies of Death Certificate

Review of A Heart That Works by Rob Delaney

A new cremation option is considered for approval to give RI families more choices

Now, there might be a new option for the eco-conscious

Review of Maybe You Should Talk

Let us talk about rituals

Why? You might say.

What do you think about rituals?

October Newsletter

Taking a look at funerals around the world

Putting Style Into Saying Goodbye

Is cremation part of your end-of-life plans?

Helpful Articles

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Wreaths Across America Mobile Exhibit

How to make sure that it's all taken care of

Wreaths Across America’s Mobile Exhibit will visit Middletown to Honor Veterans and Supporters

Memorial Funeral Homes & St. Lucy’s Catholic Church are proud to announce a local stop for the Wreaths Across America Mobile Education Exhibit national tour.

Elf is Coming Back to Jane Pickens Theater!

MFH Will Host Annual Showing of Elf!

Taking a look at funerals around the world

There’s no definitive answer on when, exactly, humans started to bury their own people–spouses, siblings, parents–because burial sites were hardly preserved.

Ainu, Japan

Ghana

﻿ Guizhou, China

Haiti

India

Indonesia

Madagascar

Mexico

Sagada, Philippines

Sicily, Italy

Sweden

‘It’s going to be fabulous,’ Putting Style Into Saying Goodbye

Tell Friends and Family

Guizhou, China

When Steven Wilson was diagnosed with terminal acute myeloid leukemia he was flooded with memories of his boyfriend’s funeral in 2014. He soured remembering the minister only knowing his partner’s name and nothing more, Wilson told the New York Times .

The next thing in sustainable funeral burials might just use an ingredient you have in your refrigerator

Things to think about: Cremation and green funerals