Meet Sam Silvia

 If you happen to walk through Memorial Funeral Home’s doors, there is a high probability that Sam Silvia will be one of the faces that you see. 

Born and raised on Aquidneck Island, Sam has been a force within the community for decades. Before working at Memorial, Sam worked for the registration department for Newport Hospital.  “I was 24 years old, and I was working at Grant's department store, and somebody came in and said, ‘there's a job opening in registration at Newport Hospital part time. So, I applied and got the job.” She said. “I worked part-time and through the years I stayed in that department and then became supervisor of the department and managed a group of 24 employees.” 

And she ended up working there for 48 years. 



During that time, she formed a close relationship with the local funeral directors. The registration department was in charge of calling them when a patient passed away. “My staff would take them down to the morgue to ensure that they took the right body and open the door.”   

Not only was Sam no stranger to death and end-of-life procedures in her work, she also faced a lot of death in her personal life as well. The first death of a loved one was her brother-in-law, who helped her out a lot with her sick husband who had juvenile diabetes and became bedridden in the last years of his life. He was driving home one day on his motorcycle and got hit by a car and died when Sam was 24 years old. 

And then her husband died. 

“I was 32 when my first husband died, and he was 40. And then I got married again after that, a couple of years later and that husband died when I was 57 and he was 62.” She said. “And then I had a brother that died at 44 of a glioblastoma brain tumor and lost parents in between that.”  Then she lost her younger brother and sister two and three years ago, respectively. “In the meantime--right after my first husband died--I got breast cancer.” She explained. Her cancer journey brought her through a mastectomy, and when the cancer returned, she underwent another mastectomy and chemotherapy. All while raising young children who had just lost their father. 

Memorial Funeral Home helped with the arrangements of all of Sam’s family members. Kurt Edenbach’s father and uncle, Charlie and Bob, both told her, “Hey, when you're done working here [Newport Hospital], come work with us.” 

Eventually, she did. 

“Well, I couldn't stand it when I retired. I really couldn't stand it.” She said. Sam retired from Newport Hospital in 2020 when she was 72 years old. She quickly realized that retirement wasn’t for her.  “I ran into Kurt at King's Park, and he asked, ‘well what are you doing?’ I said, ‘well, I guess I'm ready.’ So, like 2 or 3 months after I retired, I went to work at the funeral home,” and she loves every minute of it. 

 
After going through so much death and trauma in her life, how does Sam stay so positive? If you know her, she really is like a ray of light in the room. “I think because I always see worse.” She said. “I see children that are sick or dying, and I think, ‘well, at least my kids are healthy. And at least my husbands lived to be 40 and 62. And I think that the storms that I've walked through have made me a very strong person.” 

Sam admitted that she does see things differently to other people, including her friends. “I just seem to know that stuff happens. What are you going to do? You can't wallow in this.” She said. Although, she does admit, her fortitude sometimes goes a little too far. “I do have a problem because I never want my kids to feel sorry for me or feel bad for me. So, I always keep a positive image around them.” She said.  “I don't know if that's been the right thing to do.” 

She said one of the main reasons that she got through all these hard times was thanks to having very supportive girlfriends.  “My mother would always tell me, "keep your girlfriends.They'll always be around you.” And, boy, she was right.” She said. 

Now, at 77 years old, Sam helps others to get through hard times. And I'm going to live to be 104.” She joked. 

 
“I love to comfort and greet people at the door [at Memorial].” She said. “I think that I love to be a part of something, like I call it ‘my Newport Hospital’, and now I call it ‘my funeral home.’” Sam said that she takes great pride in representing Memorial Funeral Home. “Well, I think it's just my nature to be that way anyway. I just feel a sense of great responsibility to do it right.” 

Sam not only greets people at the door, but she also helps with admin work, “and that helps me to keep my computer skills up.” She said. She also helps the funeral directors make sure the room for the service looks just right. But her favorite part is greeting people at the door.  “Sometimes Kurt has to tell me that I'm holding up the line because I talk too much.” She joked. “The thing is, being born and raised here, I know so many people.” 

Sam also loves to dress up for the services. “It gives me a purpose to not sit here in sweatpants.” She said. “And I love shoes.” 

Sam is currently mad at former Funeral Director Ed Gurka, who recently retired from Memorial. “He was the one that was going to be able to make sure that all my shoes went in my coffin with me.” She joked. 

And what makes for a good shoe according to Sam, you might ask? “Well, most of the time they have to pop.” She said. “So, in other words, say, if I'm wearing all black, I might wear red shoes,” which go perfectly with her red-framed glasses. “I have the problem now, at this stage of my life, I can't wear the most beautiful shoes in the world because I'm standing too long.” She said. “So now they have to be more comfortable than beautiful.” 

Most importantly, though, Sam loves to interact with the families that come to Memorial. Sam says that once the family has had time with their loved one at the funeral home she will go in and let them know when people start arriving, “and they appreciate that.” She said.  

Considering her experience with death over the years, she also knows what not to say to people who have suffered the loss of a loved one. “We certainly know that we should not be saying, ‘I know how you feel.’ Although I could say that, but I wouldn't.” She said. A simple, “I'm so sorry for your loss,” is perfectly acceptable, according to Sam.   

She also appreciates when people tell stories about the person that is gone, “and that's the reason for these ceremonies-- some kind of closure is so important.” She said. “That's why I think it's a very important process to go through.”