Coping with the Anniversary of a Loved One’s Death

May 1, 2021

Coping with the Anniversary of a Loved One’s Death

Coping with the Anniversary of a Loved One’s Death. Grief

As the day that marks the loss of a loved one approaches, a sense of dread wells up in us. There is no avoiding it, but there are ways to alleviate the pain and sadness that comes with this particular day.   

Here at Memorial Funeral Homes, we have found some ways to help us and the ones we care about get through this difficult day:  

“One of the ways I take back my life from my husband’s death is to own it, to prepare for it every single time,” says Kim Shute, our former Community Relations Manager. “If I don’t the day can quickly turn into an abyss like no other.”  

Kim has to brace for the loss of her husband on the anniversary of his death, but it is also marks their wedding anniversary.   

For many, the days and weeks leading up to the day can be full of dread and anxiety. One way to try and reformat the way we look at the anniversary of a loved one’s death is to plan on doing something on the day to mark the passing of time.  

Have a Party

This might not be for everyone, but it is one way to gather those that are left behind to share their most loved memories of the person who is no longer with us. “The first year I, with the help of another family, threw a dinner for 55 people with a picture slideshow and live music,” says Kim.  “With the event being a year later, taking part was easier and more enjoyable to reminisce.”   

Kim was also sure to have a plan for the next day as well. She did garden work with a dear friend. She didn’t want the stark contrast of loneliness after a night of being surrounded by loved ones.   

Take Time to Reminisce

For those who think that a party will be overwhelming, taking the day to journal, or spend some time outdoors — anything outside the normal routine – can be a good idea. If you work, take the day off. Write about your memories together or write a letter to your loved one directly.   

If you don’t feel like writing, then maybe do something that they enjoyed doing, or listen to their favorite music. Or don’t do anything at all. You deserve to do exactly what you want to do on that day.   

Kim says, “I have written about him and to him. I have created art inspired by him. I have planted flowers for him. I have made his favorite foods and raised a glass to him both with friends and by myself.”  

Volunteer & Donate in Their Honor

Volunteering your time at a local food pantry or shelter can be very rewarding. Doing something good for the community in your loved one’s honor can help in the healing process. You are keeping their memory alive and doing good for others. Maybe donating to a cause that your loved one cared about is a better option for you. Either way, you are doing good for others as well as yourself.   

“Every one one of these actions has helped me heal and take my life back from his premature departure,” says Kim.  

For Aquidneck Island residents, the Martin Luther King Jr. Community Center is a great place to volunteer and make donations to. They help combat hunger, as well as provide health and educational opportunities.

Another option is the Women’s Resource Center , also located in Newport. This organization helps women who have been victims of domestic violence. They are always looking for donors to help them with their cause.

For recommendations of books on grief, please read our article here.

The post Coping with the Anniversary of a Loved One’s Death appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

By Pearl Marvell April 28, 2026
A two-part spring lecture series at Belmont Chapel invites the community to approach end-of-life conversations with honesty, creativity, and even a little courage. There's a reason most of us avoid talking about death. It feels morbid, premature, or simply something that we'd rather not think about. But a new lecture series at Island Cemetery in Newport is making a gentle, practical case that these conversations — held early, held openly — are among the most meaningful we can have. Death and Dying is an evening series of talks that brings together experts and community members inside the historic Belmont Chapel at Island Cemetery for evenings that are all about intention. Two sessions this May take on subjects that touch nearly everyone: how a life gets written down, and what happens to our bodies after we're gone. The first will be led by our very own Kim Shute and the second talk will be given by Memorial Funeral Home's Kurt Edenbach. May 7: Talking about obituaries won’t make you dead This engaging workshop offers practical tools for writing obituaries that reflect a real life, not just a list of facts. Through examples and guided prompts, participants will learn how to move beyond clichés and tell a meaningful story—whether writing for themselves or someone they love. The workshop is designed to be engaging, not somber, and leaves participants with skills they can actually use. May 14: New & Innovative burial options A week later, Kurt Eudenbach will address a question more people are asking: are there alternatives to traditional burial and cremation? The answer, increasingly, is yes — and the options have grown significantly in recent years, shaped by environmental concerns, personal values, and new technology. From green burials and conservation cemeteries to aquamation, human composting, and other emerging methods, the landscape of end-of-life choices is expanding in ways many people haven't yet heard about. This lecture offers a grounded, accessible look at what's available, what's legal, and what might align with your own wishes — or those of someone you're helping plan for. To reserve your spot, click on the link here .
By Kim Shute April 28, 2026
I just love it when I pick up a random book and it transports me to places, I never could have imagined. Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson is one of those rare finds. I was pulled in from page one by the story of a poor girl trying her luck as a scholarship recipient at a private boarding school for the ultra-elite, set against the backdrop of down-home Tennessee. The book vacillates between current day and flashbacks from her earlier life. Our narrator and main character, 28-year-old Lillian Breaker, is, quite honestly, a bit of a mess. She is living in the attic of her self-absorbed mother’s house, and her life feels stagnant at best. Beneath the humor, this is a story that touches on childhood neglect and the sharp divides of income and social status. We learn about Lillian’s complicated relationship with Madison, her former boarding school roommate who reappears with a mysterious and highly confidential job offer. What unfolds is a story about misfits that made me laugh out loud one moment and feel unexpectedly emotional the next. I struggled at times with the dynamic between Madison and Lillian. Given their history, I found myself questioning why they remained connected at all. Yet many of us are guilty of staying in relationships that do not reward us with reciprocity. Still, as the story unfolds, witnessing the trust develop under such unusual and often untenable circumstances helps to restore a bit of faith in human connection. There is a strange magic to this book. It leans into the weirdness in a way that is both disarming and oddly comforting. As Lillian herself suggests, I hope this story “hypnotizes you with weirdness” as you make your way through it. Let us know if you decide to give it a read or a listen, and what you think.
By Pearl Marvell March 27, 2026
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By Pearl Marvell March 3, 2026
Losing someone we love is one of life's most profound experiences, and finding a meaningful way to memorialize them can bring great comfort during the grieving process. While keeping a traditional urn at home is a time-honored choice, today there are more ways than ever to celebrate a life well lived. One of the most personal options is transforming ashes into wearable keepsakes. Some companies will pressurize ashes into a diamond, which you can then set into a ring, necklace, or other jewelry item of your choice. Our very own Director of Community Relations, Kim Shute, took some of the ashes of her late husband and made a diamond ring, which she absolutely loves. Parting Stone is another company that offers a beautiful way to memorialize your loved one by transforming their ashes into a collection of polished stones that can be held, shared, and cherished forever. The process uses scientific precision to solidify cremated remains into clean, ceramic-like stones that vary in size, shape, color, and texture — making each collection as unique as the individual it honors. Rather than an urn tucked away in a closet, families can carry the stones in their pocket, display them in a memorial garden, scatter them meaningfully, or divide them so that everyone who loved the person can keep a piece close — making Parting Stones a deeply personal and lasting way to stay connected to those we've lost. For those who feel a connection to nature, there are several meaningful earth-friendly options. Tree urns allow a loved one's ashes to nourish and give life to a tree, which provides a living, growing tribute that endures for generations. Another eco-conscious option is a coral reef memorial, where ashes are incorporated into a concrete reef structure that helps restore natural marine habitats. Scattering ashes in a meaningful location is another deeply personal choice. If your loved one had a passion for travel, you could take their ashes on a journey and scatter them in places that were meaningful to them — perhaps somewhere they always dreamed of visiting. Scattering at sea can also be a beautiful send-off, especially if they loved the beach or were a boating enthusiast. For the creatively inclined, ashes can be woven into works of art. You can commission an artist to create a painting using paint mixed with your loved one's ashes, with popular choices including a portrait of the deceased or a scene from their favorite landscape. Companies can also press ashes into a vinyl record , allowing you to preserve a loved one's favorite songs as a lasting musical tribute. As you can see, there are so many ways that we can honor our loved one’s ashes. If you have any questions, reach out to us!
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By Kim Shute January 8, 2026
How many of us wish we could go back in time to soak up more of the people we loved? I for one have wished for this multiple times since the death of my husband. I want to see him again because his life story is all jumbled in my memory. When did he take care of the grounds of that golf course? When did he walk off that roofing job in his 20s because they did not respect him? And I want more details on when he failed out of engineering school only to go back later after our son was born. Since all those things pre-date my entrance into his life, I have no way of finding out. No one in his life would remember or care about what seem like mundane details. The book review we have for you today is about this very topic. This Time Tomorrow by Emma Straub was written while the author’s father was in the hospital. He had suggested she write a book about a daughter visiting her father in the hospital and that is exactly what she did. I am not a fan of Sci-Fi, but I can tolerate a bit of fantasy. I like my fantasy to be anchored in realism, no blue skin or characters named Tragorin for me. Emma Straub writes a time travel novel without any of the Sci-Fi vibes. Based firmly in realism unless you do the math on how old their pet cat is in 1996 and then in 2020. You may have to suspend your disbelief on that detail. It begins with the main character, Alice, on the eve of her fortieth birthday. Her life seems to be fine, albeit a bit lackluster. Her father who is a single father and famous for writing a time travel novel, is in the hospital. The next morning, Alice wakes up as her 16-year-old self, but she still has all the knowledge of her 40-year-old brain. The book does not have a Groundhog Day like quality to it, but she is trying to change the end result. With her father in the hospital in 2020 she finds herself wanting to spend lots of time with her dad when she goes back in time. She gets to ask all those questions that she did not care about the first time, when she was only consumed with her teen self and friends. This is a love story of a different variety, between a daughter and her dad, between her and her friends, and with herself. This book made me just want to read or listen instead of doing my grown-up responsibilities.  I hope you will give this book a try as it is both hopeful and wonderful.