It is Never Too Late to Celebrate
It is Never Too Late to Celebrate
The COVID-19 pandemic turned all of our lives upside down. It especially did for those who lost loved ones during this time. As a funeral home, we were dealing with new restrictions almost on a daily basis during certain periods. This meant many families could not have the gatherings they wanted to honor their loved one.
“Just because you weren’t able to have the funeral or celebration of life then doesn’t mean you can’t do something now,” says Director of Community Outreach, Kim Shute.
And it doesn’t have to be just one.
Have as many services as you want
Kim has honored her husband in many ways since his passing over seven years ago. “Each one of those services brought me little gifts of stories I had never heard or people I had not met or just holding space with others who knew him.” She says about the gatherings she had in the first few months after her husband’s passing. “Each service was unique to the place or people for which it was created.”
Kim says that she often wonders, how she could honor her husband’s life in just 500 words of an obituary, or in the brief time of a funeral? “I also hear other families struggling with the same idea.” She says. “It took them years to live that life. How do we honor their personhood and the impact they had on this world?”
As far as Kim knows, there is no rule written that says we must stop honoring our loved ones after they pass. Kim says that she has never stopped, and won’t stop honoring her late husband. “We live in a time where we get to break the mold and make the rules. Now I am not saying you should do what I did, I am just saying the possibilities are endless.” She says.
On the one-year anniversary of her husband’s death, one of Kim’s friends cooked dinner for more than 50 people. “We showed a slideshow of his life, sang a few songs he loved, told stories, and ate cream asparagus soup (asparagus had a special significance for us, he thought it was a weed and I knew it was a delicacy).” She says.
Create the service(s) that you want
On the fifth anniversary she created another ceremony. She had a lovely headstone created from chess pieces (his favorite game) and a navy medallion for his time in the service made and buried him in the town where they were married.
Kim says that every detail and every moment celebrating her husband’s death was bittersweet, but necessary. “I tore his favorite shirt into strips and glued them on to glass votive holders and filled them with dirt so each friend or family member could place some dirt on his urn.” She hope that one day, those votives will hold little bouquets of flowers at her son’s wedding.
“I had some of his remains turned into a diamond which I wear in place of my wedding ring. I sometimes write to him on his Facebook page.” She says. In 2022, Kim published a keepsake-sized grief book to help others heal after loss called Hints for Grieflings. She just recently published another book of the same size called Griefsurfing.
“I have written blog posts about him, his life, and his death. Sometimes I raise a glass of his favorite beer on his birthday.” All of these things, she says, are ways both big and small by which she remembers and honors him.
“I believe it is never too late to honor someone. If you feel incomplete because your special someone died during the pandemic and you could not have the service you needed, you can still do it now.” She says.
We are here to support you
The most important thing is that you remember your loved one and honor them in ways that are important to you and them. If we can be of any help to you in doing this, please feel free to reach out at 401-846-0698.
We are always here for you.
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