Meet Holly the comfort dog!

Pearl Marvell • April 12, 2024

A picture of Holly, a black Labrador, and her handler Westley Lemar.

Not only is Holly a good girl, she is a busy one. Since joining the Portsmouth Police department, Holly has been attending lacrosse games, reading events at the Portsmouth Public Library, and providing joy and comfort to children at Portsmouth Middle School and beyond. Holly's training was entirely paid for by community donations (a big shout out to Clement's Market!) and her overall upkeep and any additional training will continue to be funded by donations. Needless to say, Holly has been a wonderful addition to the Aquidneck Island community, and has provided children with a way to destress and decompress, even when other forms of help haven't been as effective. Who doesn't want a little bit of puppy love!

How old is Holly now?

A little over a year and a half, she'll be two in July. She's still pretty young. When we get home, she's got more energy than all these kids combined!

You already have a dog at home. How is that interaction?

Oh, she's obsessed with him. He's going to be five next month, so he's not old, but he's getting a little up there. Yeah, but he'll he'll wrestle and stuff. Just something. She's a little much for him. Sometimes he'll be like, all right, enough. I'm going to take a nap. But, uh, she's just completely in love with him.

Did you know that she would be living with you?

I wasn't sure how this whole thing was going to go when I first pushed it. Yeah, I kind of figured that a dog would live with me. I just I didn't want to get a puppy because a lot of people around here had puppies, and I just didn't have the time or energy to train a puppy. As much as I love puppies, I just wasn't sure about that. I was pretty sure she was going to come home with me. I wasn't sure how he [his other dog] was going to take it.

They are very much like kids, you love them, but you also know when you have reached you limit of how many you can have.

Two is is my limit too [laughs], I'm good with that.

How did this whole process start?

This is my second year and sometime at the end of last year/ beginning of this year, we just had a casual conversation with the school [Portsmouth Middle School], talking about comfort dogs and what not, and kind of word made way to my department that I was talking about it. I got a call into someone's office and they said, "Hey, we know you're talking about it and the chief's all for it. He's with you if you want to do this." you can go.

I started kind of just googling and looking into different companies that do the trainings and what not. And when I went to a comfort dog symposium at Brown University, I found out about this organization, Puppies Behind Bars. They told me about it and how they get the puppies and they raise them in prisons and train them there. And when they're ready, I go to New York for two weeks, train with them, and I bring her back. And I thought that was absolutely perfect because, like I said, I just I didn't want a puppy, and it saved a lot of money with all donations. I actually planned on doing this next year. I thought I was gonna have the dog ready for next year, but I emailed Puppies Behind Bars and they said in November, "Yeah, we have a class in January." So things went super, super quick, but it's worked out so well. I mean, she's been huge impact on the school.

Is she going to go to all the different schools or just Portsmouth Middle School?

All the elementary schools too. I bounce around.

Can you walk me through a normal day with her?

So I come in around 7/730 am. A normal day is kind of tough because every day something different. Sometimes, I'll go into certain classrooms and because she was new, I introduce her, talk about her, show off a few of her commands. She's got like, 40 commands, so I do about 7 or 8 for the kids in the class. I let them pet her, and I'll do that in 6 or 7 classrooms a day. Other times I have the social workers send me a schedule of certain kids they think really need Holly for the day, for therapy session. Today, one of the kids who earned points for one of our clubs gets to sit with her and play fetch with her. Two weeks ago, I was at one of the schools and Holly and I read a book to one of the kids. It really depends on who emails me first and gets to me is kind of how we schedule it.

I assume she must be in high demand

She's in very high demand here. I keep telling myself I have to get a planner for her so that I can remember everything. It's unbelievable that just when people see her, their faces just light up.

That's awesome. I mean, for you, it must be really interesting going into these schools and just kind of getting that interaction with her and the kids. That must bring you a lot of joy on a daily basis.

I'm a huge dog person, so that was incredible, and yeah, whenever I walk in in the morning, it's every staff member. They just light up, and come and pet Holly. And then the kids come in and do the same thing. It's just huge. The principal was telling me that it's a huge game changer just to have a dog in the school. Even the police station, whenever people see her, the morale just boosts when she's in the room.

The last question is what does she like to do during the off time like on the weekends and and after hours?

That's a good question and important question. So actually during school hours I give her between 20 and 30 minutes of fetch time outside. I take a long lunch so she can, you know, just be a dog. When we're at home, I actually live near a school in Westport. and there's a big field there. She likes to play fetch. We go to dog parks that she loves. When the weather gets warmer, she's a big swimmer, so I have to take her on some hikes around lakes. She loves the water.

You can follow Holly on Facebook here and follow her on Instagram @comfortdogholly! Donations can be made out to and/or dropped off to the Portsmouth Police Department.

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Political scientist Dr. Robert D. Putnam speaks about the state of American democracy

By Pearl Marvell • April 18, 2025

On April 15th political scientist and author, Dr. Robert D. Putnam gave a lecture at Salve Regina University called What is the State of American Democracy Today?, which was cosponsored by RENewport , a community collaborative based in Newport. Dr. Putnam is known for his work on how civic engagement in society is a bellwether for the state of democracy. One of his best-known works is Bowling Alone in America: The Collapse and Revival of American Community , which addresses the cultural consequences of dramatically declining rates of participation in America’s civic associations, from religious communities to recreational clubs. The talk was kicked off by an introduction from former U.S. Representative for Rhode Island, David Cicilline who is now the president and chief executive officer of the Rhode Island Foundation. The day prior to the talk, a screening of a documentary about Dr. Putnam’s work called Join or Die was screened at the Jane Pickens Theater. The political scientist began the talk by discussing the current state of our political system and democracy. “I’ve tried very hard in my work to be bipartisan,” he said, mentioning that he has worked with “all three Bush’s” during his career as a political scientist. However, what he did assert is that America today has reached historic levels of political polarization, economic inequality, social isolation and cultural self-centeredness, which is reflected in our current political situation. He explained that the wealth gap that exists now is bigger than it was even in the Gilded Age. The only time similar to what we are going through now was at the turn of the 20th century. What happened after this period was the establishment of social security, the Boys Scouts of America and other civic safety nets. Dr. Putnam explained that the ‘60s were considered a time when Americans were most equal in economic terms, although he was quick to point out the lack of equality for women and people of color. Now, “we are a class-divided society,” he said, not just in economic terms, but in recognition. “We don’t think the person pumping gas is the same as us.” He said. Dr. Putnam suggested that the next time the audience members go to a supermarket checkout or have their gas pumped for them, that they ask themselves, “do I think of that person as an equal?” According to Dr. Putnam, we as a society were able to fix similar problems before, so we should be able to fix the problems we face now. What we need is to engage our youth more to lead these movements, much like what Greta Thunberg has done with climate change, as well as ensure that it is grassroots led. It needs to be bottom-up, not top down. “We should be getting to work locally,” he said. The political scientist also talked about social media’s role in this lack of “social capital” as he calls civic engagement. Studies have shown that social media platforms like X and Facebook are designed to favor outrage and anger over other types of messaging, as well as foster in people feeling of increased isolation and loneliness. Face-to-fact engagement just cannot be replaced by a virtual reality. According to Dr. Putnam, what we need is a renewed sense of moral obligation to fix our society. “It won’t get fixed this time unless you and your children and students take up this moral calling,” he said as he addressed the full auditorium. “I think for sure there is the desire to fix the problem,” he continued. Dr. Putnam concluded the talk saying that he was hopeful for the future and paraphrased the late English Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks that optimism is a passive virtue, but hope is an active one. Hopefully we can all be more hopeful!

Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter

April 15, 2025

Shrinking is a series that came out this year on Apple TV+ and those of us that have watched it at Memorial Funeral home loved it! The series is irreverent in many ways and if you are not a fan of shall we say, mature (or perhaps immature) humor, then it might not be the … Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter Read More » The post Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

First Steps After Someone Dies

April 14, 2025

When a loved one passes away — no matter how expected their passing might be –the list of things that need to be done can be overwhelming. That is why it is important to share the load with friends and family. The only way to get through it all is to divide and conquer. Hopefully, … First Steps After Someone Dies Read More » The post First Steps After Someone Dies appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Review of A Heart That Works by Rob Delaney

By Kim Shute • March 30, 2025

I am a fan of stand-up comedy and one comedian I enjoy is Rob Delaney. He is not for the faint of heart as he pushes many envelopes and is quite gritty. A few years back he disappeared from stand-up which caused me to search for him. He was working on a show in London, and I learned that he and his wife, Leah, had lived through the unbearable loss of their two-year-old son Henry to brain cancer in 2018. They experienced the insufferable death of their precious sweet bundle of joy, and the cruel reality that we are not in charge of what happens to us and those we love. After the death of my husband (almost 10 years ago) I found reading about loss experiences of others to be a comfort. It may seem odd or like I was seeking out more pain and suffering, but really what I was searching for was company, I was tired of feeling alone in my grief. Books like Delaney’s make me feel less isolated. Delaney wrote about the experience in A Heart That Works in 2022. Should you choose this book, buckle up as it is not easy on the eyes or ears and yet I can imagine for some it might bring inexplicable comfort for those who have experienced a loss like his. He gives voice to a painful and true-life event that happens to families across the globe that are often relegated to pediatric hospitals, hospices facilities, and private homes. I appreciate and applaud his bravery for letting us into his tender, vulnerable, and intimate life. Delaney has definite opinions about the world in which we live, especially around healthcare in the US and he makes no bones about it in his real-life comparison to the free public healthcare accessible to all residents in the UK, where his family lives. He swears a lot and if that bothers you, I recommend you pass on this short work of art and testament to his love for family and especially for his late son Henry. Some of the descriptions are hard to witness about the medical aspects of Henry’s illness, treatment, and death. Delaney’s candor is both arresting and refreshing, he does not mince words or worry about you as a reader. He paints a realistic picture of the devastating and overwhelming experiences of hospital life with a toddler struggling through brain cancer and tempers it with effortless gratitude and grace. Delaney, originally from New England, is now in his late ‘40s and has struggled with depression and alcoholism in his life. In this book, he is able to shine a light for us on lessons that surface about life and death. His humanity is raw and unedited, and he shares it with those of us who decide to witness it. If you take a risk listening to or reading his memoir let us know what you think.

A new cremation option is being considered for approval to give Rhode Island families more choices

By Pearl Marvell • March 27, 2025

Now, there might be a new option for the eco-conscious

Review of Maybe You Should Talk

By Kim Shute • March 21, 2025

We have decided to add a book review section to our newsletter upon occasion that relates to themes around death, dying, and bereavement. I did not quite realize exactly how many books are related to these topics. I thought I would have to search harder, but the books keep falling across my path. Recently, I was playing Wingspan online with a friend who lives in Washington State, and she mentioned the book she was currently reading. She and I often enjoy the same books, so I knew I had to reserve Maybe You Should Talk to Somone by Lori Gottlieb through the Libby library app. This book is considered a genre I have never seen before: Memoir/Self-Help. I wholeheartedly agree with this label. I felt entertained, deeply moved, and self-reflective. I was never bored, and it was challenging to motivate myself to do things other than read this 835-page tome. Since I read the last page, I miss the author’s voice and the clients she so thoroughly captures on the pages. Gottlieb toggles back and forth throughout the book between her own individual therapy after an unexpected break-up (loss again!), as well as the clients she sees in her private practice. It is such a pleasure to see all the people depicted change and grow even when those changes are tiny. We follow the story of a young cancer patient and all the loss that follows such a journey. We are stunned to see the death of a child in a car accident and the grief of the surviving parents. We see people who are emotionally inaccessible become less armored and why they put on defenses in the first place. We see people who have lived long lives riddled with mistakes and the hurt that is sometimes born from them. We see people grow up and take responsibility for their own actions or inaction. We see people own their emotional baggage and turn their lives around. Ultimately this is a book about finding meaning in all our moments no matter how close we are to our own mortality. Many people wonder how we who work in funeral service can do what we do each day; they wonder if it is too depressing. For me it is often sad and reminds me how important it is to choose life and to live each moment as we don’t know how long we get. Working with death and the bereaved helps me to remember how critical it is to make positive use of my time on earth. I am working towards being less afraid that my life is likely more than half over. This work has me thinking about my bucket list, what is on yours? Following the next funeral, memorial, or celebration of life you attend I invite you to really reflect on how you are living your one precious life, right now. Thanks, Mary Oliver. I hope you will consider reading. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone to give you a little perspective. You know what they say, use it or lose it.

Let us talk about rituals

By Kim Shute • February 23, 2025

Why? You might say.

October Newsletter

February 5, 2025

Wow, October is almost done and November is just on the horizon! As we enter into the season of holidays, it can be even harder for those who have lost loved ones. Remembering special memories that you had with them and going through the pain of not having the ability to create new ones can be debilitating. In November, our Director of Community Relations and Grief Educator, Kim Shute will be running two workshops about “Hope for the Holidays” at Portsmouth Public Library from 1pm-2:30pm on Nov. 14th and another at the Middletown Public Library from 12:30pm-2pm on Nov. 16th. Experiencing loss can change the way we feel about those important dates in our lives, so please join us to discover ways of reducing stress and finding some peace during the holiday season. No registration or sign up needed.

Helpful Articles

January 31, 2025

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How to make sure that it's all taken care of

By Pearl Marvell • January 4, 2025

How each person defines “all taken care of” has quite a range and on one end of the spectrum is practically nothing is planned and the other every “i” is dotted and each “t” is crossed.