Q&A with Julia Brough about Death Doulas

Pearl Marvell • October 30, 2025

Julia co-founded End of Life Rhode Island, an organization with a mission is to educate the public about the role of the end-of-life doula.

When Julia Brough is not sitting in front of a computer, she can sometimes be found by the side of someone who is dying. She is a death doula, also known as an end-of-life doula or death midwife, a growing vocation that is part of a larger movement that is changing how we look at death. 


Although the term “death doula” might seem new and different, for thousands of years, societies across the world have had individuals trained in helping the dying. Today, there are about 1600 death doulas throughout the U.S. 


Julia sat down with us to talk about her work and the organization she co-founded, End of Life Rhode Island, whose mission is to educate the public about the role of the end-of-life doula, as well as raise public awareness around death, dying, and end-of-life planning and support in Rhode Island. 


This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
Memorial Funeral Home: So, Julia, tell me what you do and what got you into this work? 

 
Julia Brough: My 9-to-5 is a digital project manager, so I am at a computer about 40 hours a week. And then during 2020, I was speaking with my therapist at the time, I was just kind of ruminating on being on a computer for the majority of my week. I wanted to explore some other field to get involved in, ironically, during a healthcare shut down. 

I was like, “what in this space could I do?” And I mentioned to her that I had just gotten a birth doula book, but I wasn't feeling compelled to open it, and she was like, “well, have you ever heard of a death doula?” I immediately went and googled it and found the University of Vermont Certificate program, which is one of the largest certificate programs, and signed up for it. I think it was about eight weeks. 


Throughout the program, I was like, “this is literally what I'm equipped to do.”  It just felt like all the little puzzle pieces were coming together, being a project manager. And really, that's what an end-of-life doula is, we have a point A and a point B. You have to kind of see at a high level and understand what your client wants to accomplish within that time. So it felt like a really nice marriage of everything I have worked towards. 


After you get a certificate, there isn't really like a path. You have to either start your own business and have that entrepreneurial energy, or people will go and volunteer with hospice. So I went through the volunteer process with Hope Health. During that time, I was still talking about, “what do I want to do? How do I use this skill?” And I talked about it enough that at a dinner party, someone connected me to Judith Sutphen. Her and I met and we were like, “we need a community.” So we started End of Life Rhode Island with the intention of public outreach, professional education, and giving ourselves a space to be together. 


We need to educate Rhode Island, like people don't know [what a death doula is]. And she happened to know a cohort of people that had gone through the program or were just really tangentially interested, like funeral celebrants and folks that work in grief therapy at the VA.  


We started organizing in 2022. And then we went through our strategic planning last year because we were like, “okay, who do we want to be when we grow up?” And that was super helpful. Now, we're coming up on a year of having a marketing committee, a professional education committee, we've done a program every month and public outreach.  

MFH: That's awesome. And how has the reception been? 

 
Julia: A lot of the first questions are, “how much does it cost?” We're not regulated at this point--some people are doing it for their livelihood, some people don't need to do it for income. I try to price myself a at a sliding scale. I'm very flexible. I have a full-time job. I'd like to make some money for the skill set, but also, I'd much rather get the work done. 

 

 We've talked to a couple of cemeteries about the difference between hospice and end of life care. And so that's a really interesting question to get. I am 36 and I have talked a lot about this with a lot of my friends, many of them who are just starting a family or they already have kids, and a lot of them have responded with, “I could have really used this service with my aunt, uncle, grandfather, parent dying of cancer.” Like just someone to sit in it with and be available. There is a there is some overlap with the services. Mainly hospice is a medical provider and these medical professionals need to meet patients on a schedule. A doula can come at all of those in-between times and sit with their client, work with them, provide caregivers with respite. They are just more hands on deck, basically. 

 
MFH: What do you think drew you to this work? 

 
Julia: I've had a couple experiences that really resonated with me in different ways, one of them being my father died when I was 14 of a sudden heart attack at a Halloween party. I never saw him again. He went to the party with my mom, and then the next time I saw him was at the wake in Rhode Island.  


And then my two grandmothers passed. My mom's mom, she died in 2018, I think it was. And my family, they always have seen me as very emotional. I'm a very emotional person. And so there was this, like cajoling that needed to happen for me to be there with that. The whole family was around her deathbed and they were like, “please come here, you can be here. We'll be here with you.” 


And then when I got there, I was like, “Oh, my God, I don't know if I can handle this.” I was encouraged to sit with her and speak with her. That was incredible. To hold her hand and talk to her was something that I don't think a lot of people are reminded to do that. 


And then my dad's mom passed, maybe three years ago, but she was very lucid all the way up to the very end. And when she knew I was going through the program, she was like, “Will you come and be with me when I die?” She was in Laconia, New Hampshire. And the minute I heard she was not doing well I dropped everything and cancelled my Thanksgiving plans with my mom's family. And I drove up there. I was by myself, and I spent two hours holding her hand. She was asleep. 

Her end-of-life experience blew my mind. And I was like, “I want to bear witness to that, to everyone's different religious views and like how that culminates at the end.” That was really, really intense. So these three stories kind of made this foundation. When I learned that I can educate people on showing up and stepping into the death space and that it can be scary and it can be beautiful and you can be there for your people is, you know, it is really powerful and I wanted to do that work. 

 
MFH: That's really profound because it feels like we live in a very death-averse society and sometimes very emotionally averse, so to give people that opportunity to take those emotional walls down and give them that space, that's powerful. 

 
Julia: I appreciate you reflecting that back. I can get a little extreme talking to my friends where I ask a question like, “Have you guys talked about your body disposition planning?” And a lot of them don't want to talk about it. I get it. I have two nieces: five and one years old, and that has definitely changed this journey of being close to death. It is scarier now knowing that I will miss time with them, but I try to bring it back even when I feel myself getting scared. We are all going to die and I have lived such a beautiful life. 

 
MFH: You refer to yourself as an emotional human being, does that work to your favor in this work? 

 
Julia: You can still be emotional in that space. Your humanness is what makes you relatable and approachable to those that are going through a very intense time of grief. You're helping your client reach within themselves and navigate. They have this tool set to arrive at the end. You don't need to solve any problems, you don't need to give them any answers. You provide resources, but you don't need to solve any problems for them because we all have it within ourselves. 

The work that you're doing is showing up and saying, “Okay, we're going to sit in this space. We're going to talk about this, and you're going to get to the next point.” Everyone brings their own experiences. But you arrive at a place where there is peace at the end, whatever that looks like. 

 
MFH: So, walk me through what you're offering a family. Are you coming in weeks before a terminal diagnosis is given? 

 
Julia: You can start working with an end-of-life doula when you're perfectly healthy. I've been hosting dinners for a handful of people and, facilitating conversations around death. They've been so wonderful. I really love facilitating them. 

I have an end-of-life planner. It says “I'm dead. Now what?” In it you have your passwords, you have who you want to be called upon death, which I love because I'm like, “Oh my God, all my best friends.” And then there's also a document that we love to promote which is called Five Wishes and that is acknowledged in Rhode Island as your end-of-life document. There's like a whole bunch of things in there that you can circle. I've gone through it with my mom in pencil, and I just kind of reiterate to people that you can go through and change that at any point. So that end-of-life planning can start very early. 


Then when there is kind of a timeline due to a diagnosis, working with that client to understand what they want their days to look like, if there are any efforts that they want to get done, whether it be finishing a book that they had started, and maybe they want to ask a family member if they would be interested in working with them, or the doula can work with them to operate, say, a computer or, record and type. 


So definitely talking about different resources that would benefit what their wishes are. I'm working with them to understand their body disposition options, because there are options that are not legalized yet in Rhode Island that they can take advantage of elsewhere, whether it be aquamation or human composting. 

Then working with them to map out what their memorial would look like, in partnership with a funeral home. They might want to have a living funeral, which is a really cool idea--to be able to be there, especially if you have a terminal diagnosis, and you have the time being able to plan for that. Also taking time to understand what they want their space at the end of life to look like and feel like and smell like and sound like. 


If they want to have a pet around, creating a playlist. At the end it can be heart lifting [to have] a calming scent. Some doulas are 11th hour doulas. They show up when death is beginning. 

We have some folks in our organization that are beginning to work with someone that goes through Swedish death cleaning: the practice of going through all of your belongings. Who do you want in your life to get this this piece? Or does something need to be donated? So, you're doing all of that legwork. Doulas can help in so many different ways, and it really comes down to what that person's life looks like and what they need and you're kind of tailoring it for them. It's pretty customizable. 

 
MFH: Once someone has died, does the work of the doula continue after that? 

 
Julia: Oh yeah. Yeah. I mean, if the client was interested upon death having their body cleaned and say they weren't interested in embalming, [we can work] work to close the mouth with a scarf and put coins on the eyes to make sure everything is prepped for rigor mortis and working with the family to wash, dress and shroud the body. 

 If the client is interested in having visitors come and spend time with their body, organizing that, calling the doctor, calling the funeral home, spearheading that communication so that the loved ones can grieve. Although some people do want to have a task so the doula can help direct those loved ones to go do X, Y, and Z. And then, I mean, being present for the memorial, kind of like a wedding day coordinator in a sense: showing up and making sure that everything goes smoothly. 

 
MFH: Say there are people that you don't want in the room in those last hours or minutes. Do you designate someone within the family to be like, “Hey, you can't come in here?” Or does the doula take on the role of having those hard conversations with family? 

 
Julia: Yeah, there's definitely mediation that is involved in this role. You're just going to let yourself be kind of a blank slate and be that neutral presence. Being able to have those hard conversations, it's really guided by the client's wishes. And maybe there's another way that you could communicate with a client. You don't want this person physically in your presence, [but] could they write you a note? Could they do something else, like send you flowers or something? A doula is happy to have those conversations. 

 
MFH: Julina, thank you so much for this conversation. 


Julia: Thank you!

 


A Review of the Mortician

By Pearl Marvell • October 31, 2025
If you have been discussing movies and documentaries with your family and friends, you might have come across the HBO series, The Mortician, a three-part documentary about a funeral business in Pasadena, California back in the 1980s. We figured it was important to talk about it since you might have some questions about the funeral industry after watching it! The series primarily focuses on David Sconce, a funeral director at the Lamb Funeral Home, a family-run business that was established in the 1920s. The show draws on both horror and intrigue from how a family-run institution loved by the community betrayed the trust of hundreds of families. The Mortician lays out how Sconce turned the funeral home into a money-making machine by systematically violating ethical and legal boundaries: mass cremations, body mutilations, stealing materials of value like dental gold, returning misidentified ashes, and engaging in intimidation and even alleged murder. The series is especially chilling because of its access to Sconce himself—this is the first televised interview since his more recent release from prison (there have been many prison stays). His justifications, denials, and evasions reveal an unrepentant mentality that challenges what viewers might expect from someone caught at the center of such horror. This well-researched series is a must-watch if you are into horror and have a strong stomach! What The Mortician does especially well is bring death care into the spotlight and what it means to care for loved ones who have passed. For us at Memorial Funeral Home, it certainly is a reminder that it is understandable that some people might have some distrust in funeral homes! What we can do is assure you that we are held to the highest standard of ethical integrity, both by ourselves, the state and federally. If you do decide to watch this series, know that none of this would ever happen at Memorial Funeral Home! And please feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

Kim's Review of The One Hundred Years of Lenni and Margot

By Kim Shute • September 24, 2025
Life is too short, and it is especially too short for bad books, have I said that before? In this section we try to help you find books, movies, shows, and podcasts worth your time. This month you will need a box of tissues to read Marianne Cronin’s debut novel from 2021, but not for every page. Don’t worry, there are plenty of laughs within her novel too. This is a story of intergenerational friendship as well as life, loss, and resilience.  Lenni Pettersson, a Swedish born 17-year-old is in the terminal ward of the Glasgow Princess Royal Hospital in Scotland. She is a bit of rebel and bored with her time there, she is often looking for ways to fill her days where she never gets out of her pajamas. The ways she relieves herself of boredom include going to the hospital’s chapel to ask questions. Lenni’s knowledge base about Christianity is mixed up between fairy tales and the bible. She is polite, playful, and direct. The priest, Father Arthur, takes a shine to Lenni. One exciting addition to her days is the newly opened art therapy space lovingly called The Rose Room. It is there she meets Margot Macrae, an 83-year-old, who has a bit of spunk. Lenni realizes that between the two of them they have lived 100 years. They decide to make a painting (mostly by Margot, a gifted painter) and story (mostly by Lenni who has a way with words) for every year of each of their lives. In between we get to hear the flashbacks of their individual histories. It is heartwarming and at times, heart wrenching. This book is loaded with storytelling that illustrates love, confusion, life, sadness, joy, and of course death. We hope you will consider this month’s recommendation. Let us know if you like it.

Kim's Review of Dying for Sex

By Kim Shute • September 5, 2025
Buckle up people this show is not for the faint of heart, as many TV shows challenge us these days, long gone are the days of Richie Cunningham and Happy Days. Once again, the content for this show is for mature audiences, I mean sex is in the title. Sex and death are not topics that typically go together, at least not out in public. This month we are covering a new show on Hulu and Disney + called Dying for Sex.  The story is loosely based on a true story. Molly, the main character (played by Michelle Williams) is in her 30’s and has terminal metastatic breast cancer. It is not hard to imagine when given such a grave diagnosis that a person might look for ways to escape reality or make the best of the days one has left. Molly does that in an unexpected way; she sets her sights on-- you guessed it-- sex and she dabbles in Fifty Shades of Gray territory. Molly has had an unhappy marriage and one that is sexually unfulfilling. What would you do in her shoes? She decides to leave her husband because he is unable to fulfill her sexual desires. He feels sad when he sees her breasts, as all he can see is her diagnosis and grim prognosis. We then watch Molly try to figure out how to meet her needs both alone and with others throughout the comedy drama miniseries. Molly’s relationship with her best friend, Nikki (played by Jenny Slate) is rich with humanity and humor. So much humor! The chemistry between these two actors is a treat to witness. They show us the messy side of being human and the beauty of how we come together to support one another in times of dire need. I find myself thinking about the subject matter of this show weeks after I have watched an episode. This story gives viewers the opportunity to walk in someone else’s shoes, no matter how uncomfortable. I wonder how people with a terminal cancer diagnosis or someone close to them experience this show? Is it a relief to see part of your journey on a TV show millions of others are watching or is it too soon? If you have thoughts about this, please send us an email at kim@memorialfuneralhome.com.

Welcome Norma Figueroa to Memorial Funeral Home!

By Pearl Marvell • August 29, 2025
We are proud to introduce one of the newest members of our Memorial team, funeral apprentice Norma Figueroa! Norma brings with her not only over 17 years of experience in the medical field but also a warm spirit, a deep sense of compassion, and a genuine desire to serve families during some of life’s most tender moments. Norma is originally from Ponce, Puerto Rico and raised in Pawtucket, Rhode Island. Today, she lives in Central Falls. Her interest in the human body started early—when she was in high school and tasked with dissecting a cat during an anatomy class. That moment sparked a lifelong curiosity about anatomy and eventually led her to nursing school. She went on to work as a certified nursing assistant, central supply director, scheduler, receptionist, and lead CNA trainer. Reflecting on her years in health care, Norma says she has always been fascinated by “the amazing things a human body can do.” Her medical background, combined with training and certification in thanatology, gerontology, and funeral service preparation, makes her uniquely prepared for the next chapter of her career in funeral service. Though her background isn’t in funeral homes, Norma has found the transition both meaningful and inspiring. “I’m learning a lot,” she says. “Everyone here is eager to help me learn the ropes.” She has been shadowing at services and learning the administrative ropes that entail with this industry. Norma also knows firsthand how important it is to be sensitive to different family dynamics, a skill she developed through years of patient care. As a bilingual speaker of English and Spanish, she is especially passionate about helping families feel heard, understood, and comforted. “Being Hispanic, we turn everything into a party,” she jokes, “but I know that is not the case for everyone.” She brings that cultural awareness and perspective into her work, meeting families where they are and supporting them in ways that feel authentic to their traditions. Of course, not everyone understands her career choice. “Some of my friends have been weirded out about me working with the dead,” she admits. “And I’m like, ‘Well, you’re gonna need me someday!’” Norma is a proud mom of two college-aged children and she enjoys traveling, going to concerts, spending time outdoors with her kids, and doting on the family cat, Midnight. She also likes to eat tasty food and dance! We are thrilled to have Norma on our team. With her dedication, warmth, and professional experience, she embodies the heart of our mission: to provide care, comfort, and guidance when families need it most.

Newport Hospital to Open Adolescent Behavioral Health Unit to Address Growing Crisis

By Pearl Marvell • August 13, 2025
In the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, the demand for pediatric mental and behavioral health services has surged to crisis levels nationwide—and Rhode Island is no exception. For adolescents in Newport County, the situation has been especially dire, with no local acute care option for severe mental or behavioral health challenges. Until now, all of the state’s behavioral health beds have been concentrated in the Providence area—at Bradley, Hasbro Children’s, and Butler hospitals—forcing families in Newport County to seek urgent help off Aquidneck Island. Due to the lack of resources on the island, many families have relied on Newport Hospital’s emergency department. In 2022 alone, adolescents in crisis were boarded in the ED for 290 of 365 days, often waiting an average of 14 to 18 days for inpatient placement. These youth are among the most vulnerable, struggling with self-harm, aggression, or suicidal thoughts and behaviors. Recognizing this urgent gap, Newport Hospital is moving forward with plans for a dedicated Adolescent Behavioral Health Unit. The facility will be located on the hospital’s Sheffield 2nd floor and features six rooms and eight beds, including private and semi-private options. The space will undergo a complete interior renovation with substantial infrastructure replacements, advanced safety measures, and a secure outdoor garden for patient use. “It’s been almost a year in planning,” said Erin O’Dollard, Senior Philanthropy Officer at the Newport Hospital Foundation. “We’ve pushed the opening to January 2026 due to staffing challenges,” but, she said, they are well on their way to meeting the deadline in the New Year. O’Dollard explained that treatment for children is different than for adults, and the hospital has been seeing 30 or more kids a day at times, which makes this support so necessary. The unit will offer care ranging from single-day treatment to long-term hospitalization. Upon discharge, ongoing dialogue with families will ensure continued support for individuals and their loved ones. Newport Hospital is also working to secure funding for partial hospitalization programs in partnership with local schools and social workers. The need is undeniable. Nationally, suicide became the second-leading cause of death for youth ages 10 to 24 by 2018. Rhode Island mirrors the trend: one in five children ages 6 to 17 has a diagnosable mental health disorder, and the Rhode Island Youth Behavioral Health Survey found persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness in high school students rose from 25% in 2009 to 37.8% in 2021. Calls to Kids’ Link RI , the state’s behavioral health crisis hotline, doubled between 2019 and 2021. The project is made possible thanks to community philanthropy. Dr. Jim Nolan and his wife, Peggy, provided the lead gift, inspired by a deep commitment to adolescent mental health. Funeral Director and Owner of Memorial Funeral Home Kurt Edenbach, also contributed to the construction and development of the ward. “It is important to have such a vital resource in our community, especially in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic,” Edenbach said. “We’re proud to be part of the creation of this resource.” With this new unit, Newport County’s youth will soon have local access to the specialized care they urgently need—offering hope, safety, and healing close to home.

The needs of our families are changing, and so are we

By Pearl Marvell • July 22, 2025
Here at Memorial Funeral Home, we understand that the needs of our families have and will continue to evolve over time, and we try our best to evolve with those needs. One thing that has started to come up in conversations about pre-planning and other funeral arrangements is “What green options do you have?” As awareness of climate change and environmental impact grows, more people are seeking ways to align their values with how they live—and how they leave this world. Traditional burial and cremation methods can have significant ecological footprints, so natural burials and biodegradable urns are just some of the eco-conscious options that are reshaping how we approach death with care not only for loved ones but also for the Earth. We decided to break down some of the more eco-conscious options that we have at Memorial Funeral Home: Green burials In green burials, the body is buried in a way that allows it to decompose naturally without the use of embalming chemicals or other products that can harm the environment. Typically, the body is placed in a biodegradable casket or shroud and buried in a designated green burial cemetery. Currently, there are two cemeteries in Rhode Island that permit green burials. The Ellipse at Swan Point Cemetery and Prudence Memorial Park on Prudence Island also offer burial plots. To make the entire experience more eco-friendly, we offer electric vehicle transport services in a vehicle powered by solar panels on the roof of Memorial Funeral Home. These practices not only reduce pollution and carbon emissions but also help preserve natural habitats by supporting conservation and woodland preserves. Biodegradable urns Cremations can be more eco-friendly in that they are more space-efficient and do not necessarily require the use of formaldehyde to preserve the body, however, they do release carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. To counteract some of the negative effects of cremations, one can choose biodegradable urns that grow into trees, allowing a loved one’s remains to become part of a living legacy. Families can also choose digital memorials instead of traditional gravestones, reducing the demand for quarried stone and physical markers. Green burials, for example, allow the body to return naturally to the earth without embalming or synthetic materials. The body is typically placed in a biodegradable shroud or casket, and interred in a natural setting without a concrete vault. These practices not only reduce pollution and carbon emissions, but they also help preserve natural habitats by supporting conservation cemeteries or woodland preserves. Aquamation, or water cremation (alkaline hydrolysis), is another eco-friendly alternative. It uses water and a gentle alkali solution to break down the body, resulting in significantly lower greenhouse gas emissions compared to flame cremation. The bone fragments that remain are returned to loved ones in the same way that ashes created from flame cremation are returned. Other innovations include biodegradable urns that grow into trees, allowing a loved one’s remains to become part of a living legacy. How does aquamation work exactly? Aquamation, is currently legal in 28 states and will potentially be another option that we can provide in-state soon. The body is put into a stainless-steel chamber where an alkaline solution of water is mixed with potassium hydroxide. The chamber is then sealed, and both heat and pressure are applied. This breaks down the body’s tissues until only the bones remain, which are subsequently broken down and returned to loved ones just as they are in a traditional cremation. The whole process takes between 4 and 16 hours, depending on temperature and pressure. Aquamation uses approximately 90% less energy than conventional flame cremation—a process that emits the amount of carbon equivalent to a 500-mile car ride. Currently, water cremation is not offered in Rhode Island, but we work with another funeral home in Connecticut that offers the service. To make the process as green as possible, we offer EV transportation for this service as well. Choosing an eco-friendly funeral or memorial service is a meaningful way to reflect the values of a person who cared about sustainability in life. These choices help reduce the burden on our planet and offer a gentler, more natural process of returning to the Earth. As we continue to rethink how we care for the environment, it's only natural to consider how our final choices can leave a legacy of respect—for both people and the planet. Eco-friendly end-of-life services are more than a trend; they’re part of a movement toward a more thoughtful and responsible future.

Book Review of Eddie Winston is Looking for Love

By Kim Shute • July 15, 2025
Director of Community Relations Kim Shute shares with us her thoughts on the most recent book that she has read.

A Review of Sarah Silverman's PostMortem Show

By Kim Shute • June 20, 2025
I still have Netflix and my reason for keeping Netflix is that they do such a good job with regular releases of stand-up comedians. I have watched a lot of different comedy styles over the last 25 years or more. I remember stealing glimpses of George Carlin, Richard Pryor, and Robin Williams as a child. As an adult, I pay to see live shows and watch them on various streaming services.  Recently, there was one stand-up special released entitled PostMortem by comedian Sarah Silverman. I have seen Silverman’s work before, normally she is quite dark and raunchy, but this special felt like a bit of a departure from her normal material and is basically a tribute to the lives of her parents. She mostly focused on her biological father and her stepmom (who both died in 2023 within 9 days of each other), with several mentions of her biological mother who died 8 years ago. Silverman is at heart a storyteller, so she does a good job of balancing the realities of loss and the humor that exists in life and death within her narrative. She does sneak in some of the regular Sarah Silverman material by touching a bit on sex, an odd Hitler joke, and a description of a skit she wrote for Saturday Night Live in the early 1990s which never made the air. This special is a beautiful way to memorialize their lives and she paints their personalities so vividly I feel like I knew them. I especially appreciate how this special is a way she continues to stay connected to them and how they influenced her life and those of her siblings and grandchildren. She also put a spotlight on the need for people to plan for the inevitability of death, oddly her parents made no plans for what happens “after” (they were 80 and 85 years old). I laughed quite a bit at the antics of her blunt family and her own idiosyncrasies. I cried at her bravery for bringing this universal human experience to the stage and sharing it. Every time an artist like Silverman breaks the mold and brings loss and grief to the forefront, I want to stand and cheer as it doesn’t shy away from this very real part of life. Many places in life like to pretend that death doesn’t happen and yet it does. Shows like this one pave the way for regular people to have these conversations in their own families. I feel grateful to Silverman for circulating her unique journey and perspective. Maybe you will, too.

Meet Sam Silvia

By Pearl Marvell • June 10, 2025
If you happen to walk through Memorial Funeral Home’s doors, there is a high probability that Sam Silvia will be one of the faces that you see. Born and raised on Aquidneck Island, Sam has been a force within the community for decades. Before working at Memorial, Sam worked for the registration department for Newport Hospital. “I was 24 years old, and I was working at Grant's department store, and somebody came in and said, ‘there's a job opening in registration at Newport Hospital part time. So, I applied and got the job.” She said. “I worked part-time and through the years I stayed in that department and then became supervisor of the department and managed a group of 24 employees.” And she ended up working there for 48 years.  During that time, she formed a close relationship with the local funeral directors. The registration department was in charge of calling them when a patient passed away. “My staff would take them down to the morgue to ensure that they took the right body and open the door.” Not only was Sam no stranger to death and end-of-life procedures in her work, she also faced a lot of death in her personal life as well. The first death of a loved one was her brother-in-law, who helped her out a lot with her sick husband who had juvenile diabetes and became bedridden in the last years of his life. He was driving home one day on his motorcycle and got hit by a car and died when Sam was 24 years old. And then her husband died. “I was 32 when my first husband died, and he was 40. And then I got married again after that, a couple of years later and that husband died when I was 57 and he was 62.” She said. “And then I had a brother that died at 44 of a glioblastoma brain tumor and lost parents in between that.” Then she lost her younger brother and sister two and three years ago, respectively. “In the meantime--right after my first husband died--I got breast cancer.” She explained. Her cancer journey brought her through a mastectomy, and when the cancer returned, she underwent another mastectomy and chemotherapy. All while raising young children who had just lost their father. Memorial Funeral Home helped with the arrangements of all of Sam’s family members. Kurt Edenbach’s father and uncle, Charlie and Bob, both told her, “Hey, when you're done working here [Newport Hospital], come work with us.” Eventually, she did. “Well, I couldn't stand it when I retired. I really couldn't stand it.” She said. Sam retired from Newport Hospital in 2020 when she was 72 years old. She quickly realized that retirement wasn’t for her. “I ran into Kurt at King's Park, and he asked, ‘well what are you doing?’ I said, ‘well, I guess I'm ready.’ So, like 2 or 3 months after I retired, I went to work at the funeral home,” and she loves every minute of it. After going through so much death and trauma in her life, how does Sam stay so positive? If you know her, she really is like a ray of light in the room. “I think because I always see worse.” She said. “I see children that are sick or dying, and I think, ‘well, at least my kids are healthy. And at least my husbands lived to be 40 and 62. And I think that the storms that I've walked through have made me a very strong person.” Sam admitted that she does see things differently to other people, including her friends. “I just seem to know that stuff happens. What are you going to do? You can't wallow in this.” She said. Although, she does admit, her fortitude sometimes goes a little too far. “I do have a problem because I never want my kids to feel sorry for me or feel bad for me. So, I always keep a positive image around them.” She said. “I don't know if that's been the right thing to do.” She said one of the main reasons that she got through all these hard times was thanks to having very supportive girlfriends. “My mother would always tell me, "keep your girlfriends.They'll always be around you.” And, boy, she was right.” She said. Now, at 77 years old, Sam helps others to get through hard times. And I'm going to live to be 104.” She joked. “I love to comfort and greet people at the door [at Memorial].” She said. “I think that I love to be a part of something, like I call it ‘my Newport Hospital’, and now I call it ‘my funeral home.’” Sam said that she takes great pride in representing Memorial Funeral Home. “Well, I think it's just my nature to be that way anyway. I just feel a sense of great responsibility to do it right.” Sam not only greets people at the door, but she also helps with admin work, “and that helps me to keep my computer skills up.” She said. She also helps the funeral directors make sure the room for the service looks just right. But her favorite part is greeting people at the door. “Sometimes Kurt has to tell me that I'm holding up the line because I talk too much.” She joked. “The thing is, being born and raised here, I know so many people.” Sam also loves to dress up for the services. “It gives me a purpose to not sit here in sweatpants.” She said. “And I love shoes.” Sam is currently mad at former Funeral Director Ed Gurka, who recently retired from Memorial. “He was the one that was going to be able to make sure that all my shoes went in my coffin with me.” She joked. And what makes for a good shoe according to Sam, you might ask? “Well, most of the time they have to pop.” She said. “So, in other words, say, if I'm wearing all black, I might wear red shoes,” which go perfectly with her red-framed glasses. “I have the problem now, at this stage of my life, I can't wear the most beautiful shoes in the world because I'm standing too long.” She said. “So now they have to be more comfortable than beautiful.” Most importantly, though, Sam loves to interact with the families that come to Memorial. Sam says that once the family has had time with their loved one at the funeral home she will go in and let them know when people start arriving, “and they appreciate that.” She said. Considering her experience with death over the years, she also knows what not to say to people who have suffered the loss of a loved one. “We certainly know that we should not be saying, ‘I know how you feel.’ Although I could say that, but I wouldn't.” She said. A simple, “I'm so sorry for your loss,” is perfectly acceptable, according to Sam. She also appreciates when people tell stories about the person that is gone, “and that's the reason for these ceremonies-- some kind of closure is so important.” She said. “That's why I think it's a very important process to go through.”

Wind Phone in Portsmouth Provides a Space to Grieve and Heal

By Pearl Marvell • May 21, 2025
Dawn Emsellem-Wichowski heard about the wind phone in Japan and decided that her property on Sandy Point Ave in Portsmouth would be a perfect spot for one here on Aquidneck Island. “We live right on the Aquidneck Land Trust and people are walking by all the time.” She said, “It's sort of like on the spine of the island. It's on the crest along East Main Road and so it's windy all the time. I thought a wind phone is perfect here.” The original wind phone was created in Japan by Itaru Sasaki after losing his cousin to cancer. He purchased an old-fashioned phone booth and set it up in his garden. According to the My Wind Phone website , Sasaki found comfort, connection and healing amid his grief when using the phone to speak with his cousin. Sasaki gave his phone booth a name, Kaze No Denwa, which can be translated into English as The Telephone of the Wind. A year later on March 11th, 2011, the most powerful earthquake in recorded history hit Japan, which caused a series of tsunamis. Nearly 20,000 people lost their lives. The city of ÅŒtsuchi was one of the worst hit places by the tsunami, which is close to Sasaki’s residence and his wind phone became a way for many to reflect on their grief and connect with lost loved ones. “And it was profound, its impact. It extended beyond him being able to talk to his cousin after the tsunami, people started coming to talk to their loved ones that they had lost.” Emsellen-Wichowski said. “I kind of wanted to make an American version of this.” According Emsellen-Wichowski, the idea “fermented” in her head for a couple of years and then she found her phone booth. “I kept an eye out for a phone booth on Facebook Marketplace for like a year or two and found one in Providence.” She said, “This guy had it in his garage, and it was his cousin’s, and his cousin had gotten it from a bank that was downtown, and it was on his porch for like ten years.” The phone booth is what people older than 30 might remember from yesteryear that was used to make calls in the pre-cellphone era. Unlike traditional phone booths, the phone inside this booth is bright red and the area surrounding the booth is filled with flowers and other plants to make it a more private experience. “I had a very particular vision of the rotary dial. I wanted like a candy apple, red rotary dial phone.” Emsellen-Wichowski said. The idea kept percolating in her head and then the COVID-19 pandemic hit. “And I just was hearing all these stories of people who had lost loved ones and weren't able to do the usual mourning that one does where everybody gets together in person and is present and telling stories about the person.” She said. “So that kind of motivated me to get out there. And my husband and I put down a concrete pad and then checked with the town to make sure it was OK and then put the phone there.” Then NBC 10 News came and interviewed Emsellen-Wichowski in 2021 after a family friend reposted something that she had put up about the phone booth. “Since then, people have just sort of stopped by.” She said, “Some people come back on an anniversary. “I have a notebook that I keep there, and I notice sometimes people will say, ‘I came back again this year to talk to dad’ or whatever.” Emsellen-Wichowski said that people will oftentimes leave stones or knickknacks around the phone in honor of their person. “A project I really want to do is get a weatherproof curio cabinet so that people can put things in there,” she said, since the weather does degrade the things that people leave over time.  In the past year, the North Dartmouth High School pottery class came by and left some decorated pieces of pottery and a new cup for the pens that are there for the people to write in the log. “People come by, and you can go for a walk afterwards because it's really beautiful at all times of year.” Emsellen-Wichowski said. She said that the phone booth needs some updates, like the seat inside needs to be redone and the solar fairy lights inside the lamp need to be replaced. She is also going to add a magnetic poetry board and a kinetic sculpture to make the site more kid-friendly. “I have a blackberry patch and I'm going to put a little sign there that says you can pick them,” she said. She also added a porch swing on one side. “So, I've been sort of adding to it to make it so that there are lots of options if people come by and they want to sit in the swing after they visit the phone and stare at the cows.” Emsellen-Wichowski also added that the booth is very private. She never shares anything personal that is written in the log and whenever she notices people heading to the booth, she makes sure to give them their privacy. She understands the importance of giving people the time to grieve in their own way. “There's just so many different ways that people experience grief. As many different ways as people love or have a family.” She said, “There's a lot of diversity and there's also a lot of shared experiences. It's quite moving.” You can find the location of the wind phone on the booth’s Instagram account which is @goosefieldswindphone, or by clicking here .