Bethany Harvey: Author of “Dipped In It” Talks About Grief
Bethany Harvey: Author of “Dipped In It” Talks About Grief
Bethany Harvey always saw herself as a person with a sunny disposition. Then her father died in 2017.
To combat the grief of losing someone so important in her life, she decided that she would do a “gratitude journal” of sorts, writing something that she was grateful ever day during the months after her father’s death.
She quickly realized that just writing about things she was grateful for wasn’t telling the whole story. “We have this idea in our heads that people prefer people that are bright and shiny,” Harvey said, during a phone interview while she was at work (she runs a daycare in Portsmouth called “Bloom”).
“I felt so sick of myself because I thought I wasn’t a grateful person anymore,” She said. “I had all of these things that I should be grateful for and there I was feeling depressed and sad and grieving.” She continued.
Instead, Harvey decided that she would be truthful about how she felt: deep in the depths of grief, but also grateful for the love and support surrounding her.
“It was really just a process of allowing myself to feel the grief, feel the sadness and also understand that doesn’t mean that I’m not grateful.” She said.
Her daily writings that started 2 ½ months after her father’s death became the book Dipped In It , which has made her a very busy published author, mother, podcaster and business owner.
Harvey said that one of the most important lessons she learned after her father died is that we are allowed to grieve openly. Something society often shames us for. Especially in the age of social media, it seems like everyone is always happy. That we aren’t allowed to have days or moments of not being OK.
Dipped In It touches on all sorts of different types of loss, including divorce and postpartum depression. One of Harvey’s main missions with the book was to try and become OK with grief instead of trying to mask it.
“Grief is uncomfortable and I think right now is a time when I think everyone can relate to grief in some way because we’re all going through this collective grief of the world as we know it.” She said. “Whether we recognize it as that or not.” She continued.
For Harvey, it is important that people going through loss give themselves permission to embrace the emotions that come. Embrace the roller coaster of emotions that grief brings, so to speak.
You can feel that roller coaster in Harvey’s book. “One day I would be up and the next day I would crash.” She said.
“I think that is what is appealing to a lot of people about my book is that I actually wrote it during the year after my father’s passing and there is a story that I wrote pretty much every day for the entire year.” She continued.
I asked Harvey if there were any particular books or podcasts that help her with her grieving process. She said that it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that she started reading and listening about other people’s journeys about losing someone.
She found Joan Didion’s book The Year of Magical Thinking to be an incredible look into grief, especially when it comes to the loss of a partner.
For podcasts, Harvey enjoys listening to Everything Happens for Reason by Kate Bowler, an author and professor at Duke University who was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer at the age of 35. She also penned a New York Times bestselling memoir called Everything Happens for a Reason (and Other Lies I’ve Loved). “I just find her to be really inspiring,” Harvey said.
Another podcast that she enjoys is Grief Is My Side Hustle hosted by Meghan Riordan Jarvis, a psychotherapist and author.
For more information on Harvey and her book, you can buy her book online at most major bookstores, as well as our local bookstores here on Aquidneck Island.
For other books on grief recommended by the Memorial Funeral Home staff, check out our list here.
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