Should I have a Will? What is Probate? Why Should I Care?

September 1, 2021

Should I have a Will? What is Probate? Why Should I Care?

It is inevitable that at some point, our lives will end. When that happens, it is important that we leave behind clear instructions for what is to happen to our worldly possessions.

“It is an excellent idea, but so many people don’t do it,” says Ed Gurka, a funeral director at Memorial Funeral Home who has years of experience navigating families through the oftentimes confusing steps that follow the death of a loved one.

“Sit down, put pen to paper,” he says, otherwise, things can get very confusing, and sometimes hostile amongst family members after the passing of a loved one. According to Ed, it happens all too frequently, even amongst the most peaceful of families.

It is not as easy as you think.

Even if you do go through the process of hiring an attorney and creating a will, there will often times be more legal hurdles after your passing. Ensuring that you have left as many detailed instructions as possible will ensure that there are fewer difficulties for your loved on.

Choose someone you trust to delegate after you have passed.

If you don’t choose someone, the court will, so you might as well choose someone in advance that will take care of all bills and delegation of possessions for you. Not having someone clearly appointed for this can cause real conflict within a family. Taking care of this beforehand can help alleviate some of this, although some issues may still arise.

Do you own a property? Then you really should consider making these arrangements now.

A property that is owned solely by the deceased person will go through a process called probate. Jointly held properties will pass on to the other individual who is a co-owner. If the ownership document stipulates, the portion owned by the deceased will pass down to children or any other inheritor and this will happen without the need of the probate process.

However, if you own a property with someone else under a “tenancy in common” deed then you will have to go through the probate process.

These scenarios are also applicable to bank accounts and other assets, and generally require the death certificate of the deceased to be provided so that ownership of the account or assets can be transferred.

How about creating a trust?

You can also create a trust, which allows you to keep managing your assets while you are alive, and then transfers administrative powers or distributes the properties and assets upon your death. There are other estate planning strategies as well, but these generally require the assistance of lawyers and a financial planner.

Probate takes six months from start to finish.

For most other situations, probate will occur upon the death of the family member in question, and this process takes a lot longer than you might think.

“It takes six months from the time it [the case] gets opened to when it is closed,” says Ed. “It’s quite complicated,” he continued.

Unless you have experienced a death of a close loved one, you most likely haven’t even heard the word “probate.”

Probate is the legal process through which a will of someone who has passed away is verified. The only people who can fully explain who will or wont go through this process is a probate lawyer, however we wanted to lay out some of the basics here, according to Rhode Island state law:

Probate happens in the town or city where the person where the person resided.

In Rhode Island, probate occurs at the town or city level. If your grandmother passed away in Newport, Rhode Island, the documents would be submitted at the City of Newport’s Probate Court. The process begins when the named executor of the will (a person appointed to carry out the terms of the will or whomever you designated) files the will with the court, usually with the help of an attorney. It is then up to the judge at the probate court to give the executor of the will the legal authority to transfer ownership of the deceased properties to the beneficiaries named in the will.

Take Time to grieve; (Most) paperwork can wait.

Obviously, anyone losing a loved one isn’t immediately thinking about the legal repercussions of a loved one’s death, and that is OK. It is important to grieve fully, although Social Security will have to be notified within a month’s period of the passing.

Keep record of all receipts.

Upon the death of an individual, creditors also need to be notified, in order to make sure any outstanding debts are paid, and (unfortunately) all bills that the deceased person had, the person designated in charge will need to pay them. Ed recommends keeping evidence of all payments going out, that way you will be reimbursed by the estate once it. has made its way through the probate court. “Every time you spend a penny, get a receipt,” he says. It takes about six months before you will be reimbursed, so keep them on file in a way that you can easily access them.

Hire someone to help you prepare before the time comes.

Ultimately, if you have a property or properties, and can afford it, Ed recommends hiring a financial planner to give you and your loved ones peace of mind for when the times comes.

Contact the funeral home that you wish to take care of your funeral proceedings ahead of time. It will give you peace of mind that your final wishes are taken care of. A good funeral director will also be able to give you suggestions on lawyers to consult with, as well as give you and your loved ones a better idea of the over all process.

If you have any questions, feel free to give us a call at Memorial Funeral Home at 401 846 0698.

The post Should I have a Will? What is Probate? Why Should I Care? appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

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Political scientist Dr. Robert D. Putnam speaks about the state of American democracy

By Pearl Marvell • April 18, 2025

On April 15th political scientist and author, Dr. Robert D. Putnam gave a lecture at Salve Regina University called What is the State of American Democracy Today?, which was cosponsored by RENewport , a community collaborative based in Newport. Dr. Putnam is known for his work on how civic engagement in society is a bellwether for the state of democracy. One of his best-known works is Bowling Alone in America: The Collapse and Revival of American Community , which addresses the cultural consequences of dramatically declining rates of participation in America’s civic associations, from religious communities to recreational clubs. The talk was kicked off by an introduction from former U.S. Representative for Rhode Island, David Cicilline who is now the president and chief executive officer of the Rhode Island Foundation. The day prior to the talk, a screening of a documentary about Dr. Putnam’s work called Join or Die was screened at the Jane Pickens Theater. The political scientist began the talk by discussing the current state of our political system and democracy. “I’ve tried very hard in my work to be bipartisan,” he said, mentioning that he has worked with “all three Bush’s” during his career as a political scientist. However, what he did assert is that America today has reached historic levels of political polarization, economic inequality, social isolation and cultural self-centeredness, which is reflected in our current political situation. He explained that the wealth gap that exists now is bigger than it was even in the Gilded Age. The only time similar to what we are going through now was at the turn of the 20th century. What happened after this period was the establishment of social security, the Boys Scouts of America and other civic safety nets. Dr. Putnam explained that the ‘60s were considered a time when Americans were most equal in economic terms, although he was quick to point out the lack of equality for women and people of color. Now, “we are a class-divided society,” he said, not just in economic terms, but in recognition. “We don’t think the person pumping gas is the same as us.” He said. Dr. Putnam suggested that the next time the audience members go to a supermarket checkout or have their gas pumped for them, that they ask themselves, “do I think of that person as an equal?” According to Dr. Putnam, we as a society were able to fix similar problems before, so we should be able to fix the problems we face now. What we need is to engage our youth more to lead these movements, much like what Greta Thunberg has done with climate change, as well as ensure that it is grassroots led. It needs to be bottom-up, not top down. “We should be getting to work locally,” he said. The political scientist also talked about social media’s role in this lack of “social capital” as he calls civic engagement. Studies have shown that social media platforms like X and Facebook are designed to favor outrage and anger over other types of messaging, as well as foster in people feeling of increased isolation and loneliness. Face-to-fact engagement just cannot be replaced by a virtual reality. According to Dr. Putnam, what we need is a renewed sense of moral obligation to fix our society. “It won’t get fixed this time unless you and your children and students take up this moral calling,” he said as he addressed the full auditorium. “I think for sure there is the desire to fix the problem,” he continued. Dr. Putnam concluded the talk saying that he was hopeful for the future and paraphrased the late English Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks that optimism is a passive virtue, but hope is an active one. Hopefully we can all be more hopeful!

Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter

April 15, 2025

Shrinking is a series that came out this year on Apple TV+ and those of us that have watched it at Memorial Funeral home loved it! The series is irreverent in many ways and if you are not a fan of shall we say, mature (or perhaps immature) humor, then it might not be the … Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter Read More » The post Shrinking: a show about grief and laughter appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

First Steps After Someone Dies

April 14, 2025

When a loved one passes away — no matter how expected their passing might be –the list of things that need to be done can be overwhelming. That is why it is important to share the load with friends and family. The only way to get through it all is to divide and conquer. Hopefully, … First Steps After Someone Dies Read More » The post First Steps After Someone Dies appeared first on Newport RI | Memorial Funeral Home.

Review of A Heart That Works by Rob Delaney

By Kim Shute • March 30, 2025

I am a fan of stand-up comedy and one comedian I enjoy is Rob Delaney. He is not for the faint of heart as he pushes many envelopes and is quite gritty. A few years back he disappeared from stand-up which caused me to search for him. He was working on a show in London, and I learned that he and his wife, Leah, had lived through the unbearable loss of their two-year-old son Henry to brain cancer in 2018. They experienced the insufferable death of their precious sweet bundle of joy, and the cruel reality that we are not in charge of what happens to us and those we love. After the death of my husband (almost 10 years ago) I found reading about loss experiences of others to be a comfort. It may seem odd or like I was seeking out more pain and suffering, but really what I was searching for was company, I was tired of feeling alone in my grief. Books like Delaney’s make me feel less isolated. Delaney wrote about the experience in A Heart That Works in 2022. Should you choose this book, buckle up as it is not easy on the eyes or ears and yet I can imagine for some it might bring inexplicable comfort for those who have experienced a loss like his. He gives voice to a painful and true-life event that happens to families across the globe that are often relegated to pediatric hospitals, hospices facilities, and private homes. I appreciate and applaud his bravery for letting us into his tender, vulnerable, and intimate life. Delaney has definite opinions about the world in which we live, especially around healthcare in the US and he makes no bones about it in his real-life comparison to the free public healthcare accessible to all residents in the UK, where his family lives. He swears a lot and if that bothers you, I recommend you pass on this short work of art and testament to his love for family and especially for his late son Henry. Some of the descriptions are hard to witness about the medical aspects of Henry’s illness, treatment, and death. Delaney’s candor is both arresting and refreshing, he does not mince words or worry about you as a reader. He paints a realistic picture of the devastating and overwhelming experiences of hospital life with a toddler struggling through brain cancer and tempers it with effortless gratitude and grace. Delaney, originally from New England, is now in his late ‘40s and has struggled with depression and alcoholism in his life. In this book, he is able to shine a light for us on lessons that surface about life and death. His humanity is raw and unedited, and he shares it with those of us who decide to witness it. If you take a risk listening to or reading his memoir let us know what you think.

A new cremation option is being considered for approval to give Rhode Island families more choices

By Pearl Marvell • March 27, 2025

Now, there might be a new option for the eco-conscious

Review of Maybe You Should Talk

By Kim Shute • March 21, 2025

We have decided to add a book review section to our newsletter upon occasion that relates to themes around death, dying, and bereavement. I did not quite realize exactly how many books are related to these topics. I thought I would have to search harder, but the books keep falling across my path. Recently, I was playing Wingspan online with a friend who lives in Washington State, and she mentioned the book she was currently reading. She and I often enjoy the same books, so I knew I had to reserve Maybe You Should Talk to Somone by Lori Gottlieb through the Libby library app. This book is considered a genre I have never seen before: Memoir/Self-Help. I wholeheartedly agree with this label. I felt entertained, deeply moved, and self-reflective. I was never bored, and it was challenging to motivate myself to do things other than read this 835-page tome. Since I read the last page, I miss the author’s voice and the clients she so thoroughly captures on the pages. Gottlieb toggles back and forth throughout the book between her own individual therapy after an unexpected break-up (loss again!), as well as the clients she sees in her private practice. It is such a pleasure to see all the people depicted change and grow even when those changes are tiny. We follow the story of a young cancer patient and all the loss that follows such a journey. We are stunned to see the death of a child in a car accident and the grief of the surviving parents. We see people who are emotionally inaccessible become less armored and why they put on defenses in the first place. We see people who have lived long lives riddled with mistakes and the hurt that is sometimes born from them. We see people grow up and take responsibility for their own actions or inaction. We see people own their emotional baggage and turn their lives around. Ultimately this is a book about finding meaning in all our moments no matter how close we are to our own mortality. Many people wonder how we who work in funeral service can do what we do each day; they wonder if it is too depressing. For me it is often sad and reminds me how important it is to choose life and to live each moment as we don’t know how long we get. Working with death and the bereaved helps me to remember how critical it is to make positive use of my time on earth. I am working towards being less afraid that my life is likely more than half over. This work has me thinking about my bucket list, what is on yours? Following the next funeral, memorial, or celebration of life you attend I invite you to really reflect on how you are living your one precious life, right now. Thanks, Mary Oliver. I hope you will consider reading. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone to give you a little perspective. You know what they say, use it or lose it.

Let us talk about rituals

By Kim Shute • February 23, 2025

Why? You might say.

October Newsletter

February 5, 2025

Wow, October is almost done and November is just on the horizon! As we enter into the season of holidays, it can be even harder for those who have lost loved ones. Remembering special memories that you had with them and going through the pain of not having the ability to create new ones can be debilitating. In November, our Director of Community Relations and Grief Educator, Kim Shute will be running two workshops about “Hope for the Holidays” at Portsmouth Public Library from 1pm-2:30pm on Nov. 14th and another at the Middletown Public Library from 12:30pm-2pm on Nov. 16th. Experiencing loss can change the way we feel about those important dates in our lives, so please join us to discover ways of reducing stress and finding some peace during the holiday season. No registration or sign up needed.

Helpful Articles

January 31, 2025

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How to make sure that it's all taken care of

By Pearl Marvell • January 4, 2025

How each person defines “all taken care of” has quite a range and on one end of the spectrum is practically nothing is planned and the other every “i” is dotted and each “t” is crossed.

Should I have a Will? What is Probate? Why Should I Care?